Between Church And Stomach by Hyperabid


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St. Patrick's Day 2000 Special Song Challenge: Bob, Corned Beef and The Devil -- Dateline Boston, USA. Some Irish Catholics may have a beef with the church on St. Patrick's Day. This year, the holiday falls on a Friday in Lent, the period when Roman Catholics are encouraged to abstain from eating meat as an act of penance and a reminder of the sacrifices of Jesus. Many Catholic bishops, including Boston's and New York's, are giving dispensation to parishioners who want to partake of the traditional Irish-American meal of corned beef and cabbage. But some bishops are refusing to let their congregations off the hook, like Bishop Sean O'Malley of Fall River, Massachusetts, has not issued a dispensation. As a result, Catholics with a hankering for corned beef on March 17th may be heading to nearby Boston. But even without a dispensation, there is a possible out for those who don't want to ignore the rules but feel a craving for corned beef: They can travel to another diocese where the meal is deemed OK. "Corned beef and cabbage is a mainstay of our menu," says Jerry Burke, owner of Doyle's Cafe, an Irish pub in Boston's Jamaica Plains neighborhood, "And people are going to do it anyway." Mr. Burke expects to sell thousands of pounds of corned beef and cabbage this Friday. Also included in the no-no parishes are those in Rockville Centre, New York and Brooklyn, New York."

Between Church And Stomach by Hyperabid
(Tune: Fire and Rain – James Taylor)

Hyperabid's Comments: Ah well . . . A dangerous subject to be sure. (Speaking as someone who can hear the tempers boiling right now over the pond as two groups of people who worship the same God decide whether or not to start killing each other again). None-the-less I have tried to produce something in the best Non-conformist Prod taste and assure you all humour is laughing with not at.

Just yesterday morning the priest said that it was wrong
"By God the menu you've made will put an end to you"
I walked out this morning and the craving hadn't gone
Choose between church and stomach what am I to do

Chorus:
(Oh!) Corned beef and cabbage make you fart
After all these years I've made it into an art
Green Beer and Guinness always play their part
I just wish that Lent didn't have to start

Won't you look down on me Jesus you got to help me make a stand
I just can't make it through St Patrick's day
My gut is aching, I need a drink in my hand
Oh please tell me there's another way

Chorus:
(Oh-oh-oh!) Booze and food are my priest's treat
The last time he came round he fell at my feet
I've got to lock the whisky up each time we meet
So why does he tell me what I have to eat

I've been walking my mind through a lonely time my back turned towards the pub
Lord knows when bars all close I'll glad today
Can't really see why it should be my priest can choose my grub
Got to sit at home all alone and keep the faith today

Chorus:
(Oh-oh-oh!) The earth shall be the prize of the meek
Sometimes I find that story rather weak
'Cos while faithless navvies get the food they seek
I hold with the church and I don' get a peek

Feed me one more time Lord
Oh feed me Seymour
Feed me corned beef one more time, Etc.