SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  The Man Who Wanted To Be King . . . Of The Jungle, That Is -- (August 2001) SAN DIEGO, CA. -- A San Diego computer programmer who has spent �100,000 on tattoos and plastic surgery to turn himself into a 'tiger' wants a fur graft.   ( Click here for his picture)  Dennis Smith is tattooed from head to toe with orange and black stripes and his teeth have been filed to needle point.  His fingernails have been crafted into sharp talons while his hands have tattooed markings like a tiger's paws.   He says he feels like a tiger.  The short back-and-sides he sported at the University of California has been replaced with a long orange mane.  He has also swapped his glasses for green contact lenses.  He has also had latex whiskers implanted and surgery to his lips so he has a permanent snarl.  He now wants a surgeon to graft tiger fur on to his skin, like a perma-wig.  Mr. Smith, who has changed his name by deed poll to Cat Man, said: "I have a collection of old tiger pelts from the days of hunting.  I want these grafted on to me.  It will cost another $100,000 but will be worth it.   When I have the coat of a tiger, I feel I will have reached my goal in life."  'Cat Man' admits "Of course people stare at me when I walk down the street, but that's the effect I desire.   For so long I have equated myself with the tiger that I decided to change myself into one."  "It's the real me.  So many men cross-dress without their partners knowing, or dress up and play cowboys or Civil War soldiers at weekends.   Me, I'm a tiger all the time and I love it.  I had my first tattoos done 20 years ago around my eyes and now my whole body is one pastiche of stripes and shading.  I am really proud of it all.".


Bengali Benny by Clifton53
(Tune:  Donegal Danny)

Clifton's Comments:  This was one of the toughest by far, I think it's a very compelling story and not so easily laughed at eh?  Or maybe it's just me.

I remember the day that he came in
As I drank, and smoked on my pipe
An odd lookin' man by some degrees
His arms and legs in tiger stripe
His teeth were fangs, both long and sharp
He had claws where his nails should shine
I said to myself, and to my pals
"That's one freakin' big feline"

Chorus:
So here's to Tigger and Raglan T.,
Old friends that I loved dear
And here's to you and to 'ol Tony too
Tell 'em Bengali Benny was here me boys
Bengali Benny was here

He stood at the bar and called a pint
He said "listen, I'll tell you how I felt
To be a citizen of man, when all the while
All I wanted was a pelt
I tried my best to stick it out
A human, a part of mankind
But this primal urge inside of me
Drove me out of my mind

So here's to Tigger and Raglan T.,
Old friends that I loved dear
And here's to you and to 'Ol Tony too
Tell 'em Bengali Benny was here me boys
Bengali Benny was here

So many roads I could have walked
I could mend, I could make and I could sail
But for my life of emptiness
I prayed and pleaded for a tail
I'd many friends, and lots of dough
And with many ladies I did dance
But I'd trade it all in one split sec
For a tailor who wants to take a chance

So here's to Tigger and Raglan T.,
Old friends that I loved dear
And here's to you and to 'ol Tony too
Tell 'em Bengali Benny was here me boys
Bengali Benny was here

And then he turned and left us there
All pondering what he had said
For the life of me, I could not see
How his urges would be fed
But the spirit shown, within this cat
Was seen so plainly as the truth
And we had no doubt that he would be
The world's first human sabre-tooth

So here's to Tigger and Raglan T.,
Old friends that I loved dear
And here's to you, and to 'ol Tony too
Tell 'em Bengali Benny was here me boys
Bengali Benny was here.

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