Beeline Talkin' Blues by Metchosin


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The Challenge: This challenge was to write a song about a a report on National Public Radio that scientists in the US have made a fantastic advance in the study of honey bees -- they've caught several of the little buggers and glued diodes and antennae on their back with double-sided poster tape. "They look like hors d'oeuvres with glass toothpicks in them," said one of the researchers. Then the researchers release the honey bees and *attempt* to follow them in vans equipped with radio receivers; communicating with each other via walkie-talkies, evoking such conversations as: "He's going north." "Now he's going west." "He's going south -- nope, make that north again."

Beeline Talkin' Blues by Metchosin

Well gather round Cats and I'll tell you a story
Bout how to pursue scientific glory
Get you some bees and a diode or two
A few tiny pins and some crazy glue
Double sided poster tape, transmitters and all that jazz

Well I got me some bees, matter fact quite a few
Loaded em up and away they all flew
Jumped in my van, I'm trackin' em down
Radio signals on the far side of town
Clover, fireweed, wildflowers and farmers fields.

Well they buzzed to the east and they buzzed to west
I followed one, just doin' my best
Headed way out to a wheat field stand
To keep her in range I pursued in the van
Following blips, through fences, makin' crop circles.

Just then she headed back on to to the road
I bumped back out, just listen to her go!
I followed her in hot pusuit
She was zippin' along, she knew her route
Headin' for greener pastures, makin' a bee line.

Then I turned north just as she turned south
The result of which there was no doubt
Up on the corner of my window screen
A few metal pieces all red and green
Squished bug, cashed in her IC chips, some form of road kill.

I stopped the van and started to grievin'
A cop pulled up said "Man you were weavin'"
He asked me to step out of the car
Said "drivin' like that you won't get far"
Impaired, without due care and attention, DUI.

He arrested me and he put me in jail
Went before the judge to tell my tale
The judge said son "I believe your story,
You were just pursuin' scientific glory!"
Go publish a paper, where bees go, maybe get yourself a Nobel Prize.