SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Here's the 'beastie bliss' as promised. This challenge idea was suggested by our own dear Bert. Go for it, Challenge!rs!!!   Vienna, May 9 - The illegal stowaway arrived in the Czech Republic with a nasty hangover and was apprehended by the authorities - but not without a fight. But instead of being sent back on the first ship out, he's become a star.  Meet Vaclav, the raccoon who survived for weeks on beer and dog food.   "He was one lucky raccoon," says Vladimir Thichor, head of the animal clinic in Pardubice. "If that consignment of beer had not been on board, he would not have lasted three days."   Vaclav - named by Czechs with a wink at their ex-dissident President Vaclav Havel, another great survivor - traveled in a container all the way from Canada to the East Bohemian town of Pardubice, deep in the provinces. He probably crept in for a free meal when the container was being loaded in Toronto. But when the door closed, he was trapped for more than three weeks.   Vaclav tore into the packs of dry dog-food, then looked for something to quench his thirst. Something told him to sink his sharp teeth into a six pack, and from that moment on, Vaclav was one happy puppy. So to speak.  As a result, when the container was opened, Vaclav did not want to come out: he had found beastie bliss. Two policemen specially trained in the capture of vicious animals were called in. Clad in protective suits and armed with gladiator nets, the team spent two hours trapping the rancorous raccoon, who fought them tooth and claw all the way to his allotted cage.  There, he sulked in a corner and slept it off, suffering the raccoon equivalent of cold turkey. Nor was he charmed when he was given a bath to wash the beer residue out of his matted coat.  Vaclav is now the darling of the Czech media. The Pardubice animal clinic's phone has been jammed with calls offering him a home. Director Thichor, however, was not moved by the outpouring of sentiment. "A raccoon is not a family pet," he said. "Vaclav will go to a zoo where everyone can come and see him - and where we will try to find him a mate."   Now if he could just get a television and a six pack ... 

Beastie Bliss (or The Tale of Jean Four Feet) by Áine
(Tune: The Theme to Gilligan's Island)

Áine's Comments:  "Nutros" are my doggie's favorite snack biscuit. And for you Gilligan aficionados, the verse that begins with "A brave racoon..." corresponds with the original verse in which the characters are named, explaining the obvious variance in scansion.

This is a tale 'bout a little chap, who took a fateful ride,
A true Canuck from paws to mask, his nature could not hide.

Toronto was his native home, but due to luck or fate,
While sniffing out a tasty snack, he left leaving far too late,
He left leaving far too late.

When the ship it took to sea, Jean's tum began to growl,
He sniffed out Nutros, but no drink, and Jean began to howl,
And Jean began to howl.

A brave racoon, our Jean kept sniffin' the container up and down,
And found some beer, with poptop lids,
Molson Gold, what a find,
'Twas beastie bliss, to feast like this,
A treasure he had found!

On reaching a far eastern shore, they forced Jean from his nest,
With darts and shouts and nets of steel, poor Jean could get no rest.

The first mate and his skipper too, shed tears at Jean's dire fate,
Off to a zoo, they waved farewell, promising to find his mate.

Renamed Vaclav, our Jean is now the star of the Czech press,
He loves the fuss, free beer and food, yet longs for his wife, Tess.

Beware ye critters with four paws, where ye seek your 'beastie bliss',
With a bloated tum, but no other fun, I'd give this trip a miss!

(Loudly, with a big showtime finish --)
With a bloated tum, but no other fun, I'd give this trip a miss!

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