SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Not one to let you Challenge!rs rest on your laurels (or cow chips, as the case may be), here's a great two-fer-one Challenge! from myself and the doesterr.  You have a choice here -- you can write a song about either of these topics, OR, you can write a song that includes both topics, thus qualifying for the Two-Fer-One Award! 

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(This one is from doesterr) 

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?  This could only happen in California....(true story) -- Car Jacking Foiled: An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four unknown males in her car.  She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she "knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! "   The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.   Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition.  Her car was an identical model and was parked four or five spaces further down.  She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.  The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed. 

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And here's mine: 

Car 54 - Where Are You?  Pensioners cause mayhem in police car - Police are investigating how two 76-year-old women got hold of a squad car and drove it with sirens blaring and lights flashing - before crashing it.  The little old ladies were "Citizens on Patrol" volunteers who drive around Beloit, Wisconsin, looking out for suspicious behaviour - but they are NOT supposed to drive squad cars.  They were asked to go to the scene of an accident to help control traffic but ended up in the police squad car instead of one of the unmarked police cars they normally use, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.  Shirley Nelson and neighbour Jeune Nelson kept the radio on during the incident and were heard asking each other for directions.  Their adventure ended when they went through a red light and hit an oncoming car.  Neither woman was hurt but Shirley received a ticket for failing to drive safely.  The Citizens Patrol programme has been suspended pending an inquiry.  "I want to know who sent two little old ladies out in a squad car with a shotgun," says Rock County district attorney David O'Leary.  He is reviewing the case to see if criminal charges might be brought.

The Battle Of Blue And The Grey by Spider Tom

Said Sergeant O'Rielly, it's been quite a day,
Both, for the Blue, and the Grey.,
I'm not getting younger, but what can I say,,
With things, changing more every day.
Once little old ladies were meek and so pure,
Too frightened to answer a knock on the door,
When the kitten went missing, they'd call a Policeman.
Now they're taking the law in the palm of their hands.

Said he knew it would come, they've been liberated,
As he chewed on a donut and masticated,
Said, an incident happened the other day,
Where an elderly lady, chased four men away,
Claimed she "thought" they were steeling her own little car,
She became Annie Oakley, the didn't get far,,
She reached in her handbag, and drew a six-gun,
And the four frightened fellows, just had to run.

I was there on the desk, when the frightened, and fearful,
Maltreated men, blubbered stories, all tearful,
Of a roadrage, a hijack, of an old lady thief,
It didn't look good, as I typed up the brief.
And would you believe, as they cowered in the corner,
Before an arrest or before I could warn her,
That the little old lady carjacking thief,
Came up to my desk saying "What a relief."

Saying " thank God that we have such speedy police",
Just lock up those thieves, don't give them release.",
Of course when we straightened, the whole matter out.,
She realized the men were not thief, loon or a lout.,
And the law set her loose once again on the day,
Cause she mistook their car as her own, they say.
And now I've read on the fax machine,
Of another grey matter even more obscene.

You know in Berloit, they've got, " Citz. On Patrol"
I've read something now, made my eyeballs roll,
They sent two "Old Dears" in a Beefy Squad Car,
To redirect traffic, by a bit of a "jar",
And of course, I suspect, things went to their head.
And they turned on the sirens by mistake they said,
And two little old ladies like loonies they spread,
And crashed after running red lights it's said. 

I know things are changing , change always comes they say
Who could predict a problem with the Blue and the Grey.

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