Bare-bottomed Girls by mousethief


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Brit Flits Nix Knicks! London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators. Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit. Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma. "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said. She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters." A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design. "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

Bare-bottomed Girls by mousethief
(Tune: Queen's Fat-bottomed Girls)

I'm a dirty old man
And I'll look at what I can
So I went down to the women's track meet
Now those ladies were not wimpy
But their running shorts were skimpy
I was shocked at what the audience could see

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

I'm not one to laugh and snicker
At a lady in her knickers
But these running shorts were very hard to see
And there's nothing could be sweeter
Than the ladies' 100 meter
When that woman flashed a vertical smile at me

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Hey listen here
Now I'm getting kind of old
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
When they show the ladies' track meet on TV

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Get on the track and run!

Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.