The Banning of Brendan Behan
From the telling of Matthew Edwards
One night during the Emergency years there was, as usual, a lively argument going on in the
special writer's and artist's carriage of the Dublin Underground Railway. The writers
were complaining about the activities of the Censorship Board, and how it was becoming
impossible to earn a living from literature.
James Joyce, who had popped over by submarine from Trieste to check the house
numbers on the Vico Road for his new novel, was bemoaning the fact that the only
thing the warring nations agreed on was the banning of Ulysses. The now statelier
and plumper figure of Gogarty pointed out that the only way he could escape being
placed on the Index was to write all the dirty bits in Attic Greek.
At the bar, Flann O'Brien was getting extremely drunk, again, thanks to the barman
allowing him three drinks for the price of one in consideration of his Triune identity.
He was trying to jot down a note on the back of his ticket for a pun on Greeks in the
attic to use in his novel.
Sean O'Faolain complained about the stagnant state of Irish culture, and illustrated
his remarks by pointing to the pools of Guinness spreading across the floor: "That's
Irish writing today for you; a stain on the floor of a railway carriage." Young Brendan
Behan cheered and shouted, "Up the IRA!" All the others glared at him, and wondered
who had let him in as he hadn't written anything yet. However a minor Joyce brother
murmured that he was so-and-so's nephew, and anyway he could sing a bit.
After a while a general agreement began to emerge that being banned by the Board
conferred an �lite status on those writers. Consequently Gogarty was elected spokesman
to approach the Managing Director of the Railway, Mr L.H.Corner, with a view to securing
a private compartment, with a bar, restricted for the use of banned writers.
At this, Brendan Behan, who didn't want to be left out of anything, leaped out of the
carriage at Emmet Station and scribbled a rude song on the walls (in both Gaelic and
English as prescribed by Regulation 42 Ch.11 sect.xlvii of the Railway), and signed his
name below. He was duly banned by the Censorship Board the following day, and thus
he became the first author to be prohibited without having anything of his published.
Of course musicians were also allowed on the Dublin Underground, or the Four-Cornered
Railway as it was popularly known afer the four brothers Corner who constituted the Board
of Directors. Indeed there was one memorable night involving
Margaret Barry and a bicycle . . . but that's a story for another day.
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