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The Song Challenge:   Who Left Uncle Harry In The Bushes? July 6, 2000 - Fort Worth, Texas: Maintenance worker John Truex was minding his own business as he walked the grounds of the Woodhill Apartments on Monday, when he spied an odd-looking wooden box under a bush. "He had no idea what it was," said the manager of the complex. "It looked like a little coffin."  Truex took the box to the apartment office to show the manager and other staff members what he found. Curious, the group opened the lid and discovered a sealed brass box inside. They couldn't open the brass box, and couldn't figure out what it was, so they called the police. Office r W.T. Byrnes arrived at the scene and was just as stumped by the 1-foot-long by 4-inch-wide box, which seemed to be missing a display plate. "I wasn't real sure what it was," Byrnes said. "I called funeral homes in the area and they said, 'Yes, we package things like that,' and I said, 'Eeeeyew!'"  "According to a couple of funeral homes," continued Officer Byrnes, "they take ashes, put them in a plastic bag with a label of who it is and then put them in a box that they seal up and then put in a display case." Byrnes turned the little box over to the Medical Examiner's Office; however, the staff members there declined to comment yesterday. The statement from spokeswoman Linda Anderson was, "As it stands right now, we don't have any information on it -- All we have is a box."  But the apartment manager has heard otherwise. "It's an urn of some sort," she said. "The medical examiner's office found out that it is a lady from Granbury, but they haven't contacted any relatives. But I'm sure when a person finds out that their relative was left here, we will be hearing from them . . . (but) you've got to wonder who would leave Uncle Harry under a bush . . . .". 

The Ballad Of Uncle Harry by SINSULL

Chorus:
Uncle Harry lies beneath a bush
It was his very last and dying wish
His wife fulfilled her promise with a blush
And Uncle Harry lies beneath a bush

Uncle Harry of Granbury died last week
He wished a quick cremation and he seeked
To lie all warm and peaceful
'Neath magnolia's flowering purple
But his wife heard "Violet's bush"
A harsh mispeak.

In Violet's room at the House of the Setting Sun
Harry's missus hid the coffin, then did run
Miss Violet bruised her tush
And the splinters made her blush
Screaming "Who put Uncle Harry under my bush?"

Chorus

Violet tossed ole Harry out the door
He was discovered by a peeping Tom who swore
The coffin and the box
Were tucked within the rocks
Of the Woodhill Complex
'Neath the hollyhocks.

The Managing Agent denied he was a tenant
Officer W. Byrnes said "Wait now just a minute!
Perhaps this former flesh
Was interred beneath the bush
While the poor soul waited for his place in heaven."

Chorus

The local M.E. took charge of the can
She was a right-wing registered 'Publican
Her office was a clutter
Of pamphlets all a-flutter
And G. Bush posters showing off her man.

Poor Harry and his coffin were misplaced
Beneath G.W.'s posters he's encased
He dreamed of flowers lush
And Violet's lovely bush
But he languishes, he anguishes debased.

Chorus

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