The Ballad Of Lucky Charms by Amos


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The Challenge: Since jeffp has already submitted a wonderful Valentine's Day song for the Mudcat Songbook today, I was stuck for a good challenge. Then, I took my youngest ones to the grocery store and had to again refuse to buy them a certain sugary cereal. But, and blame it on the Muzak brain-fry, I got an idea! Here 'tis -- write a song using the shapes from the Lucky Charms cereal: pink hearts, crescent moons, yellow stars, beautiful rainbows, red balloons, green clovers, and fluffy marshmellows!

The Ballad Of Lucky Charms by Amos
(Tune: TBD)

I am a weary working girl
I strain from morn til night
And I've borne four handsome children
And worked to raise them right
I've tried to raise them wisely,
On food macrobiotic
For when the sugar's in their blood
They quickly turn psychotic!

Chorus:
Fer the divil's in the Lucky Charms,
And sweetness is his season
Send not your children to his arms,
He'll deprive them of their reason;
With sugar highs, and sugar blues,
The divil's charms will bend them
And the cursed nurse will quickly use
Ritalin for to mend them!

As I was walking down an aisle
At Hightown Market Monday,
I saw a brightly colored box
That had been shipped in on Sunday;
All pictured red and green it was,
With marshmallows, and clover
And sure it was a charming thing,
It won my children over.

Well they set in to whine and cry
And order me to buy it.
And I was weary from my work
And weak, I won't deny it
So the colored box came to our house
Alas, what was I doin'!?
I never thought that it would bring
My family dear ta ruin!

My youngest boy he soon turned bad
From the sugar on his brain
He couldn't study algebra,
He said it caused him pain
Then he ran around the classroom
Sticking pencils in his arms
And how was I to know the cause
Was the devil's Lucky Charms?

My fairest younger daughter
Her age it is but ten,
She sat a- weeping in her milk
And would not rise again
When asked to pick her bedroom up
She bitterly complained!
She cannot even tie her shoon
From the sugar on her brain!

Now mothers in the country far
Please learn this lesson well
Don't let your children be deceived
By the leprechaun from hell
With his clovers and his red balloons
He will lure the young to harm,
And bring your family all to grief,
For buying Lucky Charms!