The Bad News Badgers by Clifton53


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Naughty Naturalists Nabbed in Night-Vision Nasty –– A couple at a lakeland holiday park were caught naked on cameras meant to monitor the movements of badgers. The pair ventured into the snowy woods at the Oasis Village, near Penrith in Cumbria. Their romp was beamed into every hotel bedroom on a special channel trained on the badger set. The night-vision camera caught the couple in the early hours of the morning. The woman kept her bobble hat on, reports the News of the World. The pair stopped when they heard a sound and quickly put their clothes on before being chased by a security guard with a torch. The identity of the couple has not been revealed.

The Bad News Badgers by Clifton53
(Tune: D Day Dodgers)

I am a badger expert, I watch them work and play
I write for nature magazines, I go, I write, they pay
They sent me up to Penrith town
I brought some film, I needed none
For these are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

I checked into my hotel, the room was neat and clean
And there set in the armoire, a CCTV screen
Unpacked me bags, turned on the set
But I ain't seen, no badgers yet
For these are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

The lake was dark and pretty, the snow a picture card
The trees with heavy branches, beautified the yard
When what does my wonderin' eye behold
Two naked badgers, out in the cold
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

"Wait one bloody minute, this falls outside the regs
Tis plain to see these badgers, only have two legs"
I thought this pair a wee bit odd
But WOW the female, what a bod!
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

They seemed to like each other,if I may understate
I rubbed me eyes in wonder, as I watched them mate
Grumblin' and growlin', they did rut
The lady had one lovely butt
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

Then all of a sudden, their nest was all lit up
A classic case I thought, of Coitus Interrupt
Off they did go, into the night
I've never seen a more bouncy sight
For they are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria