Bad, Bad, Sunil Brown by Dharmabum


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The Song Challenge: Here's a little story that Amos sent in for your 'songifying' enjoyment -- He calls it: "If I Gave Myself To You . . ." COLOMBO (Reuters) - A Sri Lankan man was seriously injured when he jumped naked into a lions' den at the national zoo, apparently offering himself up as a feast for the big cats, officials said Monday. "The man...had written a letter before jumping into the enclosure saying he wanted to give 'alms' to the lions," said Senarath Gunasena, director of the National Zoological Gardens in the Colombo suburb of Dehiwala. The man survived but the three lions in the den bit off parts of his arms, legs, chest and groin area. The incident occurred Sunday when the zoo was full of visitors. The man was rescued by zoo staff and onlookers who beat garbage cans to frighten the lions away and took him to a nearby hospital where he was in intensive care. Sri Lanka's majority Buddhist population believes that giving alms can earn merit for future incarnations.

Bad, Bad, Sunil Brown by Dharmabum
(Sung to Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce)

On the south side of Sri Lanka
Where the monks are mighty tough
There's a man down there called Sunil Brown
Who plays with lions in the buff.

Now one day he decided
To go down to the zoo
Said "I'm gonna do my best to give alms to the lions"
"But an arm & a leg will do.

Chorus:
And he's bad, bad, Sunil Brown
Bhuddist man of Sri Lanka town
Baddest of the Bhuddist persuasion
Earning merit for his incarnation.

Now he stripped off all his robes there
As he walked without an ounce of fright
He stood face to face with his leonine attackers
Said "My next life's gonna be alright".

Now one bit off his left arm
One got his legs & chest
The other made off with a mouthful of gonads
He said "I think this part tastes best".

(Chorus)

Now they took him to the doctor
And the doctor stitched him up
They sat him down,said"Stay away from lions"
"Cause you're gonna run outta luck".

But Sunil was not worried
Said "I'm gonna be just fine"
"If I can't go all at once to the great hereafter"
"I'll just go there a piece at a time".

Chorus:
And he's bad, bad Sunil Brown
Bhuddist man of Sri Lanka town
Baddest of the Bhuddist persuasion
Earning merit for his incarnation.

Doesn't matter how much pain he feels
He's gonna be a three course meal.