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The Song Challenge:   'They're Giving It Up At The Hotel California' . . . British tourists held a Spanish hotel manager hostage in protest at what they claimed were appalling conditions at their hotel.   Police were called eventually to rescue the man, who had been barricaded in his office for two hours.  The 19 British families involved in the protest say that they wanted an explanation for conditions at the Hotel Mallorca in the resort of El Arenal on Majorca, which they say included animal bones, clothes and condoms floating in a filthy pool; hotel food that was crawling with ants; and bedrooms that were infested with cockroaches.   Breakfast consisted of stale bread.   The families' all-inclusive holiday cost almost �1,000. Louis Aristos, of the travel agents Sun Private Travel Ltd, said that the hotel and tour operators had assured the company that the conditions were not as bad as was claimed.   "We have not received complaints from other people we have booked into the hotel."   A spokesman for the 210-bed hotel said that it had been ordered to carry out repairs last year to avoid the risk of being closed.   He said that the hotel was old but of a good standard and did not suffer from the problems raised by the tourists.   The pool was cleaned daily, he added, and ants were found in bedrooms because tourists took food into their rooms.   The man held hostage was a representative of the tour company, the spokesman said.   He has since been treated for depression and is now off work.


At the Hotel El Mallorca by Dharmabum
(Sung to Will the Circle Be Unbroken)

I took my friends & family
On vacation holiday
But I could not
Believe my eyes
At the place we had to stay.

(CHORUS)
At the hotel El Mallorca
Where conditions make you cry
There's a better hotel waiting
At the sty lord
The pig sty.

There were roaches
On the bedsheets
There were condoms
In the pool
And for all the
Money I spent
I felt like a big fool.

(CHORUS)

And the food there
At Mallorca
Was the worst I'd
Ever ate
And the walls were
Thin as paper
I heard my neighbors fornicate.

(CHORUS)

Now the guests all
Got together
And they said
"We've had enough"
So they tracked down
The manager
To protest conditions rough.

(CHORUS)

Now they followed
Close behind him
Then he ran
And tried to flee
And they scared him
So severely
That he's still in therapy.

(CHORUS)

At the hotel El Mallorca
Where conditions make you cry
There's a better hotel waiting
At the sty lord
The pig sty.

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