A Start In Life by Jack the Sailor


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The Song Challenge: The Day That Saji's Sari Slipped and Baji's Bobbin Got Buffed . . . India's health minister has banned the use of condoms to lubricate bobbins used in weaving saris. CP Thakur has told parliament sari makers are using condoms to speed up weaving because condom lubricant was also good at stopping yarn from snapping. Mr. Thakur claims the use of so many condoms in the sari industry is affecting India's population control programme. "Instructions have been issued to stop this practice," Mr Thakur said. Mr Thakur says the use of condoms in weaving is causing shortages and instances of unscrupulous government health workers meant to distribute free condoms to contain population instead selling the condoms to sari makers. Workers rub the condoms on bobbins while they make their brocade saris. The industry is using an estimated half a million condoms every day. Each of the 125,000 looms in the city of Varanasi uses an average four condoms per day. It takes nearly 15 condoms to produce one Benarasi sari. The lubricant on the condom smoothens the bobbin and makes it move faster between threads..

A Start In Life by Jack the Sailor

Jack the Sailor's Comments: Imagine this as a musical number on the Simpsons. With Apu singing to his child.

Daddy where did I come from?
The little boy inquired
Am I the Apple of your eye
Was I just what you desired.

No son you shouldn't ask that question
The answer you are going to hate
Your mom and me didn't have a condom
And we just couldn't wait

You are a happy sari accident
You were born from our love
You are a happy sari accident
Because, I didn't wear a glove

I went to the local health care worker
Noticed he had a fine new car
I think he was a duty shirker
when I asked where the condoms are

He said, he didn't get a shipment
He said that no condoms came
I could not cover my equipment
The sari factory is to blame

You are a happy sari accident
You were born from our love
You are a happy sari accident
Because, I didn't wear a glove
Because, I didn't wear a glove
Ohhhhhh Yeaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!