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Pair Of Pensioners May Be Punters, But They're Not Prudes! -- A pair of Norwegian pensioners robbed by two strippers say they don't mind because it's a long time since they had so much fun.  Arne and Oystein Tokvam, aged 73 and 80, say they invited the women to their home after meeting in a shop.  The women then did a striptease before saying they needed the toilet.  When they failed to re-appear the brothers realised they'd been robbed of £4,600 cash.  "It's too bad about the money, but we just have to take it with good humour," Arne told the Bergens Tidende newspaper.  "We're looking at it as entertainment. Very expensive, but absolutely entertaining."  Local police in the small mountain town of Flam in Sogn og Fjordane are taking the theft far more seriously than its two victims.  They cordoned off a large area around the brothers' home and have warrants out for the two women.


Arne And Ornstein's Excellent Adventure by Genie
(This one will work with the tune "How Can I Keep From Singing" or "Barbry Allen" or probably several other folk tunes.)

Near Flam in Sogn where they were born, there were two geezers dwellin'
Norwegian bachelor fishers, they (of herring often smellin').

In all of Scan-di-hoo-vi-a, From Stockholm to Helsinki,
There were no greener rubes than they [and very few so stinky.]

One day they ventured into town, To Flam in Sogn of Fjordane
Two "wild and crazy" Norske dudes in search of fun and fortune.

They met two ladies in a shop where Lutefisk was sold in
The ladies said "How 'bout a date --if we may make so bolden?"

Now all these years they'd had few mates [except for eels and sturgeons]
And so it seems, though long in tooth, the brothers still were virgins.

So Arnie grinned a sheepish grin and asked them home for dinner.
And Oystie chimed, "We're having fish!" [He was a rank beginner.]

Back at the cottage they indulged in fine Norwegian whiskey.*
Their female guests could plainly see the lads were feelin' frisky.

The ladies then began to dance and do the bump and grind there.
Alfhild soon flashed her buxom breasts, and Inga her behind bare.

They boys knew Nature in the raw; they'd never from the truth run,
But they had ne'er seen such a sight. [Remember, they were Luth'r'n.]

So though they blushed in shame to see this dance ecdysiatic,
The thoughts and feelings it provoked were not ecclesiastic.

And while it lasted, they soaked in this pulchritud'nous fauna,
While sinful visions filled their heads -- a foursome in the sauna!

Oh, what a treat for callow eyes--a feast so fine and naughty!
And then the bubble burst when Inga had to use the potty.

The gals retreated to the loo--perhaps to take a shower?--,
But Arn' got wise when they were gone for nearly seven hours.

The brothers found their dinner guests had not gone empty-handed.
Their hard-earned pension stash was gone with those two comely bandits.

And so the bothers called the cops [It was their Christian duty.]
The fuzz would soon be on their tails in search of that hot booty.

Now, looking back, the brothers say, "It cost us many a Krona
When we indulged our fantasies, because we had a boner."

"Watch out for those big city girls--They're likely out to getcha!"
But Oynstein say It's worth the price. Says Arn', "Ya, sure, you betcha!"

(*Is this any oxymoron?)

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