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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
Pair Of Pensioners May Be Punters, But They're Not Prudes! -- A pair of Norwegian pensioners robbed by two strippers say they don't mind because it's a long time since they had so much fun. Arne and Oystein Tokvam, aged 73 and 80, say they invited the women to their home after meeting in a shop. The women then did a striptease before saying they needed the toilet. When they failed to re-appear the brothers realised they'd been robbed of £4,600 cash. "It's too bad about the money, but we just have to take it with good humour," Arne told the Bergens Tidende newspaper. "We're looking at it as entertainment. Very expensive, but absolutely entertaining." Local police in the small mountain town of Flam in Sogn og Fjordane are taking the theft far more seriously than its two victims. They cordoned off a large area around the brothers' home and have warrants out for the two women.
Whores When You're Young Never Trick An Oul' John by derrymacash
(Told from the perspective of the participants – a parody of that oul' come-all-ye "Maids When You're Young, Never Wed An Oul' Man")
Two oul' fellas rang our phone, hey ding doorum dye
Two oul' fellas rang our phone, we being young
Two oul' fellas rang our phone, we're feeling so alone
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john
CHORUS:
Cos he's got no faloorum fal diddle eye ooorum dye
He's got no faloorum fal diddle eye aye
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john
They were grizzled and wrinkly, hey ding doorum dye
Grizzled and wrinkly, we being young
Grizzled and wrinkly, creased-up and crinkly
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john
CHORUS
Their bits like a chicken's neck, hey ding doorum dye
Their bits like a chicken's neck, we being young
Their bits like a chicken's neck, stubbly and pink and slack
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john
CHORUS
Fidgetting, fumbling, hey ding doorum dye
Fidgetting, fumbling, we being young
Fidgetting, fumbling, doddering, bumbling
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john
CHORUS
When they had had their way, hey ding doorum dye
When they had had their way, we being young
When they had had their way, straight off to sleep went they
Whores when you're young never trick an oul' john
CHORUS
When they went to sleep, hey ding doorum dye
When they went to sleep, we being young
When they went to sleep, out of bed we did creep
Robbed every penny and off we did run!
We found their faloorum fal diddle eye ooorum dye
We stole their faloorum fal diddle eye aye
We nicked their faloorum, we took their ding doorum
Robbed every penny and off we did run!