SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday.  Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa.  But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported.  When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said.  Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box.  "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money.  Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash.  Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill.  "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald.  "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."


Annie's Ashes Have Gone Missin' by Áine

Áine's Comments:  With a nod to Uncle Frank, here is my humble submission for your perusal. I don't have a tune, so feel free to plug one in yourselves! ;-)

Chorus:
Annie's ashes, they went missin'
While her husband I was kissin'
Underneath a big green bunch of mistletoe
While this mornin' I feel sad
It was quite a time I had
A dancin' and a snoggin' with her Joe!

It was sad, I have to say
That dear Annie'd gone away
And she'd never see another Christmas tree
Then our brother, he appeared
Upon his cheek a tear
And a tatty little box to give to me

Well, I took it from his hands
And this is how my story stands
I placed it with the hats upon the shelf
Then the party, it began
With no further thoughts of Anne
And I have to say I did enjoy myself!

Chorus

On my third jar of white lightnin'
I found it very frightenin'
Seein' all those headless chapeaus dance about
So I tossed 'em in the bin
With a wicked little grin
And to calm myself, I had a pint of stout

'Twas on the breakin' of the morn
With my brain too wrent and torn
That my brother, he began to whinge and wail
Well, I fell flat on my fanny
When he cried, 'Where's dear old Annie?'
And my actions of the night began to mourn

Chorus

Rushin' out into the winter
Anne's recovery was hindered
As I gazed upon the litter on the ground
Then it hit me like a brick
Wading through the refuse thick
That it wasn't in this mess that she'd be found

All the caps and hats were there
(and a bit of someone's hair!)
But the topper for Anne's Joe could not be seen
With a shamefaced little giggle
The solvin' of the riddle
And the answer to the mystery I gleaned

Chorus

I walked back into the house
And as quiet as a mouse
Tiptoed up the stairs and into my bedroom
With his face so pale and wan
A victim of an crúiscín lán
Annie's Joe lay curled up snoring in the gloom

It was plain as he turned over
That we hadn't 'rolled in clover'
Though he was naked head to toe, 'cept for his vest
With a smile upon his face
But his heart in the right place
He had Annie's box clasped tightly to his chest

Annie's ashes, they went missin'
While her husband I was kissin'
Underneath a big green bunch of mistletoe
While this mornin' I feel sad
It was quite a time I had
A dancin' and a snoggin' with her Joe!

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