All God's Critters by Genie


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The Song Challenge: Is That A Baby Budgie In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me? -- RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) -- With parrots and snakes in his luggage and bird eggs tucked into his underwear, an Austrian tourist has been arrested and charged for animal trafficking, Brazilian police said on Wednesday. "He put (the eggs) near his testicles so they would be at nest temperature," a police spokesman said. Police discovered 21 parrots, four parakeets and two snakes hidden in two large suitcases carried by Austrian botanist Johann Zillinger. hey also found Zillinger had rolled five parakeet eggs into a sock and nestled them in his underwear. "Since some of the parakeets that he had with him were newborns, we assume that some of the eggs had already hatched." Tipped off by an anonymous call, Rio de Janeiro police arrested the Austrian on Monday in front of his Copacabana beach hotel, as he climbed into a taxi on his way to catch a flight to Europe. According to police, Zillinger bought the animals in the Amazon port city of Belen and planned to take them to Austria to sell them in Europe.

All God's Critters by Genie
(Tune: All God's Critters Got a Place In My Pants (with apologies to Bill Staines))

Chorus:
All God's critters got a place in my pants--
Some for money, some for romance,
Some sing out loud, just so I can dance,
And some just flap their wings to keep me cooler in the summer.

Listen to the chicks hatching near my bottom,
Will it be a cock or a hen I've begotten?
Will the chickies be imprinted on my thing,
Or will it be my swan song they sing?

All God's critters got ... .

Listen to the cop that frisked me in Rio
On a felony charge that could get me a year,
He made me his collar for a silly little thing,
Like the jay bird up my sleeve.

All God's critters got ... .

Smuggling in the night time, smuggling in the day;
Little duck quackin' prob'ly gave me away.
The python gobbled it, to my dismay,
and the parrot just cried "Ole!"

All God's critters got ... .

It's a smuggler's life, critter crap everywhere,
In my Samsonite, in my underwear!
The boa in my muffler's cuttin' off my air,
And the mynah's startin' to swear!

All God's critters got ... .

© 2001 Jeanene Pratt