SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Don't You Think They'd Get A Stiff Neck? -- Two University of Kentucky professors have been awarded a patent for an intranasal for of Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, which would produce almost instantaneous effects.  Anwar Hussein and Lewis Dittert, who filed for the patent in Dec'98 and received international media attention, were awarded the patent in March.   They said their delivery system would allow patients to get results in 5 to 15 minutes.  In pill form, Viagra takes about an hour to work.  Somebody go and tell Catspaw to keep a squinty eye on this one . . . I think it's gonna be good!!


The Aisle Where Sildenafil Stands by Amos
(Tune: The Garden Where the Praties Grow -- Click to Play)

Have you ever been in love, me boys, Oh! have you felt the pain?
I used to judge I was in love, by the burning in my brain
But thanks to modern science now, I'm master of me glands
And I owe it the aisle where Sildenafril stands.

Chorus:
She was just the sort of creature, lads, that'ss sure to stir your blood
Her curves were so delicious, and her style was awfully good,
But I almost lost the chance for love, when I could not expand
And I met her in the aisle where Sildenafil stands!

It was in the aisle at QuickRite where this colleen met me eye,
And our minds they met like forest flames against the evening sky
It was pretty near miraculous how quickly we did fall,
And we grappled by the gardenware, in front of God and all!

Chorus

It was getting energetic, and we moved and swung and swayed
We finally tumbled to the floor just past the Hearing Aids!
She was fire, ice and thunder! I was putty in her hands,
By the time we reached the aisle where Sildenafil stands

Chorus

Says I, "My lovely darling, I'm I would take ye here and now!
She pressed right up against me, and murmured "Tell me how!"
"Oh whisper dirty words to me, and slay me with your charms!"
And my words were fine and florid and she melted in me arms

Chorus

We were pressed against the counters where they stack the hair shampoo
And the moment was upon us when I strangely came unglued
I had never done it "retail", and my mind began to creak,
And although me heart was willing still my flesh it just stayed weak!

Chorus

But the lass was every inch a match, she'd not be turned away!
And to cure my poor performance, well, she grabbed a nasal spray,
And she whispered soft and luscious as I fumbled with her clothes,
"See, insertion is a two way street!", amd she poked it up my nose!

Chorus

Well we found ourselves successful, sir, in minutes less than three
And now she's had a bouncing boy, and named it after me!
And every year we celebrate, we're known throughout the land,
For our reunions in the aisle where Sildenafil stands!

Chorus:
She was just the sort of creature, lads, that'ss sure to stir your blood
Her curves were so delicious, and her style was awfully good,
But I almost lost the chance for love, when I could not expand
And I met her in the aisle where Sildenafil stands!

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