Aisle Of Lingerie by Genie


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Gadzooks, Batman, It's the G-String Gang! Holy Underwear! -- LONDON (Reuters) - Cheeky thieves, dubbed the "G-string Gang" by the British press, made off with thousands of pounds worth of racy underwear after a daylight raid on upmarket lingerie designer Agent Provocateur, a spokesman said on Tuesday. The central London headquarters of Agent Provocateur, a favorite among celebrities such as Kate Moss and Liz Hurley, was burgled over the weekend by thieves who carried off 27,000 pounds ($40,000) worth of lacy bras, knickers and corsets as well as shoes and jewelry. "We were all working upstairs when it appears the thieves broke down the front door and managed to steal the collections from the basement," said Agent Provocateur founder Joe Corre. But the thieves, who got away with the fashion house's new collection, had not made an intelligent choice in targeting such an exclusive boutique, he said. "The very nature of the designs, being so distinctive, renders them instantly recognizable, making it easier to track the thieves down, whatever they try to do with the collection." Agent Provocateur is known for its sexy, slinky and expensive designs which include one-off corsets, suspenders, stockings and G-strings. A spokesman for London's Metropolitan Police said the burglary was being investigated but there was no description of the suspects.

Aisle Of Lingerie by Genie
(Parody of "Isle of Innisfree," based on "The Lake Isle Of Innisfree" by William Butler Yeats; Tune: "Dreams of Alwyn")

I've met some folks who say that I'm a lecher,
And I've no doubt that what the say is right,
But, sure, a bloke is bound to be a lecher
With ladies' wearing things so sheer and tight.

And frilly undies set my heart a beatin'.
They take me where me fancy loves to play,
Especially when they're silk and have no seat in.
That's why I filched that Aisle Of Lingerie.

And when the moon is peeping through the panties
Of some fair damsel, on a windy day,
To cop a feel is all that I am after.
I'm once again seduced by lingerie.

I dream of ladies' dreamy mounds and valleys--
A luscious piece no man could e'er forego.
I love those 'birds' whose knickers fit so tightly
I get the shivers and my juices flow.

So searching for that precious stock I wandered;
"Provocateur's" storeroom I did behold.
The thongs and bustiers and bras I gathered,
And all the teddies that my arms could hold.

But, oh, alas, my dreams must be forgotten,
I dare not sell or give these things away,
Lest they should trace the footprints of my bold lust,
Still I'll enjoy my Aisle of Lingerie. (repeat last line)