SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Love And Spots!!  Well, Challenge!rs -- Spring has sprung for most of us, and of course, at this time of year, every species experiences a little flutter of the heart and then, well, instinct takes over...   Perhaps inspired by his own 'instincts', our own Hyperabid has suggested the Challenge! topic of "first crushes and the opposite sex moving from pain in the *rse to "Why has God blessed me with a sex drive and acne at the same time!??".   An excellent and timely suggestion.   So, there you go Challenge!rs -- Songs about 'your first love and/or crush'.   Now I know we've all gone through this -- let's see what you can put to a tune!


Áine's Feather Bed by SharonA
(Tune: "Grandma's Feather Bed" by Jim Connor, recorded by John Denver)

SharonA's Comments: Here's the first of my attempts to "catch up" by writing songs for Challenge!s that were issued before I became a Mudcatter (my goal is to write at least one song for every Challenge!... Y'know what they say:    Hold fast to dreams...)  Note:  The numbers of past Challenge!s are indicated in parentheses, but these numbers are not to be sung.  [Keeper of the Book Note:   Click here to see the Song Challenge!s of the Past Page.]

When I was a little pretty girl
Just past puberty
We used to go down to Áine's house,
My young boyfriend and me.
She'd have chicken ghosts (8) and flying pigs (44)
And some guy squeezin' all the bread (40)
But the best darn thing about Áine's house
Was her CHALLENGE! feather bed.

It was Ireland-high and Texas-wide,
Soft as a dull man's di*k (16)
It was made from the feathers in all the CHALLENGE!s
With a mynah (56), a stork (5b) and a chick (42a).
Anything that flew was in there, too,
Like the drunkards who searched for the head (48).
It didn't make one peep, but we heard a lot of tunes
From Áine's feather bed!

Ate our fav'rite foods (9), then we'd make a fire
By burpin' Japanese brew (28).
Áine'd talk about the hole in her yard (52);
The mermaid sang a shanty or two (32).
My boy would pant and he'd watch her chest
Till my anger made him dread;
Next thing he'd know, he'd wake with a concussion
In the middle of the strange feather bed.

It was Ireland-high and Texas-wide,
Smooth as a barber's trick (17)
It was made from the feathers in all the CHALLENGE!s
With a duck (42a), headless rooster (22) and chick (59).
Anything that flew was in there, too,
Like the cow that sank ships, so they said (49).
We didn't make one peep, but we played our little tunes
On Áine's feather bed!

Well, I loved my boyfriend, he loved me,
He loved Caitrin's hash cookies, too (2).
He would sniff Sildenafil (60) and grope at tits with blind men (41).
He even spat Nick's chew! (55) – ew!!!
And so, one day, I had to make a choice
And to my boyfriend, I said
That I'd trade him in to the whole CHALLENGE! crowd
For Áine's feather bed.
I'd trade him in to the whole CHALLENGE! crowd
['cept for the ones inside the bed – I need them as stuffing]
For Áine's feather bed.

Yes, it's Ireland-high and Texas-wide,
Cream-bloated Twinkie-thick (19)
It was made from the feathers in all the CHALLENGE!s
With a songbird (20) and Carnival chick (11).
Anything that flew was in there, too,
Like the fox's blown-up carcass-shred (35).
It doesn't make one peep, but I sing a lot of tunes
'Bout Áine's feather bed!
It doesn't make one peep, but I sing a lot of tuuuuunes
'Bout Áine's feather beeeeeeeeed!

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