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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge:
The Day That Saji's Sari Slipped and Baji's Bobbin Got Buffed . . . India's health minister has banned the use of
condoms to lubricate bobbins used in weaving saris. CP Thakur has told parliament sari makers are using
condoms to speed up weaving because condom lubricant was also good at stopping yarn from snapping.
Mr. Thakur claims the use of so many condoms in the sari industry is affecting India's population control programme.
"Instructions have been issued to stop this practice," Mr Thakur said. Mr Thakur says the
use of condoms in weaving is causing shortages and instances of unscrupulous government health workers meant to
distribute free condoms to contain population instead selling the condoms to sari makers. Workers rub
the condoms on bobbins while they make their brocade saris. The industry is using an estimated half a
million condoms every day. Each of the 125,000 looms in the city of Varanasi uses an average four
condoms per day. It takes nearly 15 condoms to produce one Benarasi sari. The lubricant on the
condom smoothens the bobbin and makes it move faster between threads..
The Agra Apologia by Sonja
If you ever go to 'Inja', see the population swelling,
And you ask the people why, they may say "Sari."
You may think it's an apology, but they just mean the garment
That's made of silken fabric in its glory.
For the fact'ry owners use the condom grease upon the rods
Of their instruments so bobbins will glide freely,
Making oh, so fancy cloth to wrap the majarinis' bods,
While spermatozoa are unleashed completely!
Oh, they say there's never been an erection quite so grand
On the part of man for woman as in Agra.
But the 'Injan' ranks are swelling from the rubbers not on hand--
Not to mention, from the advent of Viagra!
© 2001 Sonja W. Oates