SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Lost your 'Olympic' spirit? Here's a little story that should help to inspire all of us to 'go for the gold' . . . So, Go For It Challenge!rs!!   Thirty contestants from around the globe recently gathered in London for the second annual round of the Official World Dung Spitting Championships. CNN's Amanda Kibel was there to witness the 'action':   "It might not be the most physically demanding sport in the world, but mentally, it's a real challenge. All you need, say competitors, is a good lung capacity, limber lips, a strong mind and stomach, and a prime pellet of animal dung. The aim of the game is simple: overcome the resistance to placing the dung in your mouth and then, spit it out.   The all-important dung selection is first, and the competition was fierce for pieces of the finest droppings, gathered on a game farm in Africa, yielded by the Kudu, a small deer-like animal. And clearly, not just any old dung will do. A worthy pellet must be firm, not crumbly, and preferably, not too fresh.   As the first training session unfolded, interest from some passersby was high, but controversy dogged this competition from the start. One woman passerby commented, "You're spitting! And there's a rule about spitting in this country.  There is, there's a bylaw about spitting."   The games must go on. Competition day dawned, and competitors embarked on the vital warm-ups (gulping large portions of golden ale and dark stout). Mouths well lubricated, they spit their best, but in the end, it's a sudden-death playoff.   The Dungmeister, the reigning champion, the man who, in the past, has spat a mighty ten meters, faces off against an unknown, a rank outsider! A new champion is born, and he pays tribute to his technique: "I use the little pointed end (of the dung) towards the back. That seems to work."   But it takes more than just technique. Dung spitters say that what it's really all about is a simple case of mind over waste matter."

A Dungmeister's Lament by Dharmabum
(Sung to The Battle of New Orleans)

Dharmabum's Comments:  Áine, make it stop, I'm gettin' dizzy!

In the year 2000, 
I took a Kudu shit, 
I popped it in my mouth and then, 
I commenced to spit, 
It really doesn't matter, 
The kind of turd you picked, 
Cause once you get it past your nose, 
You've really got it licked. 

Chorus:
We'll all spit turds , 
Like it's goin' outta style, 
The heap is gettin' smaller than it was awhile ago, 
We'll all spit turds, 
And then make another pile, 
You can suckem you can chewem but don'tcha dare swallow. 

Now my wife said "Darlin, 
"You gotta stop this dear" 
"I can't sleep in the bed with you", 
"You're stinkin' up the air" 
"I'm packin' up the suitcase", 
" And the kids are goin' too", 
"You're a dung spittin' daddy", 
"And we're all ashamed of you". 

Chorus

So the wife took off, 
With her mother she's a bummin', 
She ain't around as much as she was awhile ago, 
She took the kids, 
And they all began a runnin', 
Because of little turdies that their dear ol' daddy blow. 

Chorus

Now we tried spittin' moose, 
And we spittin' raccoon, 
And we tried the elk from the wild wild west, 
The white tailed deer, 
From the suburbs of New Jersey, 
But the Kudu from the jungle, 
Is the one we like the best. 

Chorus

Now I'm feelin' kinda low, 
And I'm feelin' all forlorn, 
Cause I find myself alone, 
When I wake up in the morn, 
I was gonna find a rock, 
That I could crawl beneath, 
But I just met a girl, 
With shit stains on her teeth.

Chorus

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