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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge:
Let's Have Another Cup of Cat Cra . . . uh, Coffee – Well, it seems that the coffee market is being undermined
by runaway planting in Vietnam and Indonesia, flooding the market with cheap coffee. Meanwhile, consumption has been
relatively flat. A Starbucks on every corner doesn't mean people are drinking more coffee; thus, the proliferation of
gourmet offerings as customers' tastes continuing to get more rarefied. One coffee retailer in Atlanta sells something
called "luwak" coffee, which it claims is picked by the common palm civet (Paradoxurus hermaphrodites), often described
as catlike, but probably better thought of as an Asian version of a raccoon, coati or kinkajou. The palm civet is also
known as the 'toddy cat,' for its fondness for the palm juice that is tapped to make a sweet liquor. On coffee
plantations, palm civets dine heavily on coffee cherries. However, they digest only the outer pulp of fruit,
passing the coffee beans unharmed through their digestive systems. And because palm civets repeatedly deposit their
droppings in piles at the same spots, the coffee beans are easily collected, roasted then brewed into kopi luwak--civet
coffee. Kopi luwak is reputedly the best of all coffees because palm civets pluck and eat only the most perfectly ripe
cherries! The price of a pound of kopi luwak coffee? $300.00. Whether the beans are affected as they go
through the animal's gut is also unknown. For that matter, there is some debate about whether coffee called kopi
luwak was ever anywhere near a palm civet. Asked how he knew the beans were really collected from civet scats, one
coffee company representative said, "We operate on trust." As for the taste, he described the brew as "gamey".
One dealer described the same scene being repeated every time he tells someone about luwak coffee: "At some point in
the story, when you explain how this cat eats only the perfectly ripe coffee cherries, the listener gets this cautious
look on his face, and says, "Are you telling me that..." and the dealer always nods and says, "Yes, that's exactly
right. Roasted cat-shit for $300 a pound."
Achin' Bum by SharonA
(Tune: Aikendrum)
Ken ye how the coffee might (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Come from an hermaphrodite? (achin' bum)
He can bite the cherry bright with his civet's teeth so bright
And his wind through sphincter tight (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Smells of coffee in the right (achin' bum)!
Did ye hear of Hinderland (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Did ye hear of Hinderland (achin' bum)
There you'll find the civet band who have sworn to clear the land
Of the cherries they demand (achin' bum, achin' bum
And the palm juice, too, they've planned (achin' bum)!
Beans go running round and round (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Beans go running round and round (achin' bum)
In the civet's stomach drowned, through intestines, then to ground
With a lovely plopping sound (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Where the bean pile can be found (achin' bum)
We have smelt the poops galore (achin' bum, achin' bum)
We have smelt the poops galore (achin' bum)
But we've sought the country o'er, gathered droppings by the score
For the Starbucks coffee store (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Still the civets poop some more (achin' bum)!
Ken ye how to take a swig? (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Ken ye how to take a swig? (achin' bum)
Kopi luwak smells of pig; it'll dance a little jig
In yer innards, small and big (achin' bum, achin' bum)
Through yer sphincter it'll dig (achin' bum)!