A Casket Is A Very Useful Thing by MMario


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The Song Challenge: It's the Great 2000 Booga Booga Halloween Challenge! Get your holey sheets and brooms out for: Drop-Dead Decor (Terre Haute, Indiana) -- An online company is digging for Halloween business with a line of furniture that would make the Addams Family envious. Your Coffin Company builds and sells coffins to consumers eager to give their home decor a distinctive flair. The company has devised 101 uses for the average wooden coffin -- aside from the usual purpose -- including as a coffee table, wine rack, bookshelf and entertainment center. "We decided ... this was the ultimate conversation piece. We have a motto that you should get to know your coffin before you're buried in it," said Brad Miller, co-owner of the online company. The coffins, made from oak or maple wood, start at $389 for a basic, no-frills model. Miller said their web site averages about 50,000 visitors a day, some of whom have sought phone booth coffins and even coffin beds. (Click here to see pics of the Lovely Coffin Twins - I wonder if they do in-home installation?).

A Casket Is A Very Useful Thing by MMario

MMario's Comments: Think very Gilbert and Sullivan for tune, or Danny Kaye or Tom Lehrer

I'm afraid it is no rumour
that to maintain my daily humour
I sleep inside a casket, not a bed
Though my friends think it macabre;
makes their body fluids clabber
What care I what nasty things are said?

For this funural-y decor
my life style aids and succours
the versitility of a casket can't be beat!
Just choose your style and finish
(Wax, lacquer, paint or varnish)
and the end result is awesome, and so neat!

In my home you'll find a casket
standing duty as trash-basket
and my ice-box is a pine box! Yes, Indeed!
As a closet or a table
use a casket, if you're able
There's a casket for about just any need!

And tho my family mutters
about the casket clutter
I think we all should go through life, prepared!
If the morticians, they should strike
and someone's life should "take a hike"
I'll have a casket ready close at hand.