BY
DOINA HORODNICEANU
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I was floating above the still prairie, flooded with silence interrupted only by the croak of the crows and the metallic gnash of the thistles shaken by the wind and bitter sadness, in a world that forgot its beginning. I was floating with the wind far, far away, so far that I couldn't be reached, to the sunset and even farther. I took a deep breath and the fresh and sour air filled my mouth and strangled my blood. Everything around me was a big peal of the fall.
We entered the brown and red woods like penetrating through a wall that closed behind me, and then I experienced the Silence. Hostile like a spear pointed to my chest; as if, all of a sudden I was fifty years older, as if I have already lost my liberty.
The sun was calm and warm, the forest turning thousands of colors; from silver to indigo. Waving, yellow leaves fell from the trees in a nostalgic sign of adieu. There was no other noise except our footsteps; dry leaves crackled as they crushed. In the calm wilderness, that sound alone deepened the sense of loneliness. When night came, we stopped behind a large, old tree, waiting for the first ride of the patrols. Over our heads, through the small openings in the curtain of thick leaflets, rays of moonlight fell on the road below, making a mosaic of light and shade. After about two hours we heard the dogs bark, louder and louder. Then human voices. I could even hear what they were talking about.
"What do you think about those bastards, trying to get out of the country, last night?"
"They almost made it. We've been lucky with the currents on the river."
"Yeah that was funny, poor bastards in their swimming suits, freezing like hell and shouting: "Political asylum, Political asylum."
"They thought they had made it out, that they were in the Free World."
"Yeah, right, we'll give them political asylum, in the prison, ha, ha, ha; that was funny?."
The noises got farther and farther away, until they disappeared, making room for the deep silence. It was only then, when the guide first talked:
"From now on, you are by yourself. Here is the compass; you have to keep it west until you reach the river. You should be there in half an hour. After that God helps you. Good luck!"
He took his money and left.
It wasn't the swarming forest, anymore, full of life and death as the secrets in my veins. It became the prison in which your whole life flew in front of your eyes guided by someone else's intransigent rules. The woods cringed among the carbonized trees, and the left behind prairie, white, dead, was just a mirror of another world, where the night began.
I started to run over bushes and broken branches, scaring the owls and the rabbits, falling, scratching my hands and knees in the knots coming out of the earth, until I saw the river's ribbon shining in the moonlight.
Gunfire and running boots:
"Freeze! Freeze or I'll shoot! You are surrounded!"
So this was it. I stopped.
"On your knees, you, son of a bitch. What did you think, that we are some stupid sleeping sons of bitches, soldiers, here, ha. We'll show you, we'll teach you how to run, bastard." A strong blow to my back. Then it was dark.
I was running in a tunnel. At the end of it, there was a strong light, the sun? An explosion?! I ran towards the light. When I finally reached it there was a field flooded by sun and a running woman in a white dress. I caught her by the arm, she turned around and in that moment a strong pain in my chin. I knew who the woman was. Not immediately but later I knew.
I woke up... I was dizzy,
"Come on man, you don't want to leave us, now, do you?"
I was all wet, I tasted the blood in my mouth.
An officer at the table in front of me:
"Fill this paper out! Nome, pronome, profession; date and place of birth, parents, what you were up to, facts, everything, what you ate yesterday..."
"Just shoot me."
"Come on we don't do that, not so fast. Such a nice boy like you, in a place like this... These gentlemen here would like to have some fun with you, first... Are you going to write or not?
'I've already wasted a lot of time with you!"
'I'm talking only in the presence of a lawyer!'
'Really? Is that so? Which lawyer? Just in case we can find one that's not hunting elephants in Africa right now, do you really think he is going to be some kind of magician able to convince any Court in this country that you are God's good sheep?'
He planted his hands on my shoulders and pressed me towards him, I couldn't breathe.
Someone in the room said:
"Let him go, you'll kill him." He released me a bit:
"Nazis, this is what you are, nazis!" I said.
He hit me again.
"Just to refresh you!" he explained.
It was really refreshing. I took a deep breath, I opened my eyes.
"You'll pay for this one day!" I said with dark hate.
"Of course we will, with pleasure, but meanwhile you have to answer a few questions."
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a novel
