Trollop Air

Episode 4

Episode 4

Scene 1

Ryan is sitting in the bar drinking a beer. Russ appears in a leopard skin shirt.

Ryan: A bit flashy isn’t it?

Russ: Wait and see!

He walks over to the waitress.

Russ: Hey, could I get a stella?

The waitress looks at him and her eyes widen.

Waitress: Sure! Nice shirt!

Russ gets the beer and sits down with Ryan.

Ryan: I have to get me one of those.

Rini: He has ruined these shoes!

She sits I her room and sobs.

Sam: You want to go out? Why?

Lilly: I want to have some fun! Don’t you want to come? Russ kinda likes you…

Sam: HA HA!…NO!

Lilly: Sorry…

Sam: He’s a drunken aussie!

Paul: Hurry up! They might leave and I want a G&T before I go!

Ricardo: Just a minute! OK, let’s go.

They head downstairs.

Russ: …So then I beat him with the metal rod.

Ryan: Must keep siblings in line.

Russ: Look who’s joined us.

Ryan: Better get that gin and tonic.

Russ gets up and heads for the waitress.

Russ: One G&T thanks.

The waitresses smile leaves her face.

Waitress: Oh…

Russ: Don’t worry, it’s not for me, it’s for that guy.

He points to Paul.

Russ: I don’t drink that!

The smile reappears.

Waitress: I thought you must have been gay! Sorry!

Russ: No, I’m as straight as an arrow!

Bob: Pajero! Range Rover! Big! Eight people!

Attendant: Yes we have a Land Cruiser with seven seats. Will that do?

Bob: Yaaaaaa! La la la!

Attendant: Here are the keys…which room are you in sir?

Bob: 442.

Attendant: Thank you.

Paul: Aaah! I love Gin and Tonics!

Russel (coughing): Freak!

Ryan: Get us another round will ya?

Russel: Sure.

He gets up and goes back to the waitress.

Sam: But Lilly, you won’t drink or anything. That is all that they are doing.

Lilly: So, it’s better than staying here…

There is a knock at the door.

Sam opens it to find Rini.

Rini: He ruined my shoes!

She hugs Sam and starts to cry again.

Sam: Oh you poor thing! How ghastly!

Ricardo exited his room. As he walked down the hallway, he had the strange feeling that he was being watched.

Ricardo: Who is there?

Nothing.

Ricardo: Hello?

He turns and runs as fast as he can to the lift.

Lilly: Ready? Let’s go!

Rini: OK. Thanks for lending me these shoes, Sam.

Sam: That’s OK.

Rini: And thanks for offering, Lilly…

Lilly holds up the tiny shoes and still doesn’t know why Rini wouldn’t borrow hers.

Paul: …And then the starship oggley-puff attacked…

Ryan (to Russel): What is he on about?

Russel: I don’t know…time for more beer!

Ryan: Good onya!

Scene 2

The lift stopped in between floors.  Ricardo screamed.  The maintenance shaft opened and a grotesque face appeared!

Ricardo:                Aaaaaargh!

Sam:        My goodness!  He looks even more like a fag!

Lilly:       I think it looks nice.

Rini:        The shirt looks fine, just a bit flashy.  Actually, it does make him look rather attractive.

Ricardo: Get back!  I warn you!  I am a killer!

Bob:        Shmoo!

Ricardo (Face changes fom fear to anger):                DIE!!!!

Ricardo starts to beat Bob.

“ding”

The lift door opens and Bob runs away.

Ricardo: I’ll get you!

Ryan:      I love this stuff!

Russel:   Yeah!  It’s pretty good, eh?

Paul:       I personally enjoy this Gin and Tonic!

Ryan:      …So you should…

Russel (to Ryan):                Look who’s here!

Rini, Sam and Lilly arrive.

Rini:        Looking smart, Russ!

Russ:      Cheers.

Lilly:       What are you guys drinking?

Ryan:      Stella.

Lilly:       Is that wine?

Stifled scoffs.  Paul seems to choke on his G & T.

Lilly:       I like wine, could I have a taste?

Ryan:      Be my guest…

Lilly takes a swig and promptly spits it on Paul.

Lilly:       That stuff is off!  I wouldn’t drink it!

Russel:   Don’t worry, it’s beer!

Lilly:       But you said…

Sam:        Have any of you guys seen Mr Penite?

Everyone laughs.

Sam:        What?

Paul:       Just that name…

Russ:      I don’t know, but Bob went to get a..

Sam cuts him off and turns to Ryan.

Sam:        He said he’d be down here before we were.

Russel looks hurt.

Paul:       Well he left with me and then he disappeared back to get something.

Rini:        How peculiar!

Scene 3

Ricardo was lost.  He had run away from Bob.  Bob had stopped running and turned on him.  He had to escape.

Old woman:                Excuse me?

Ricardo: Yes, what is it?

Old woman:                I’m rather lost…can you help me?

Ricardo: Leave me alone you silly bat!  I’m lost too!

Old woman:                Eh?  I’m a bit hard of hearing!

Ricardo: Just shut up and leave!

Old woman:                What stairs do I go up…?

Ricardo grabs her bag, clouts her around the head once and continues on.

Russ:      Bob!  Have a drink!

Sam:        We haven’t got time!  We have to find Ricardo!

Bob:        BEER!

That was settled.

After Rini and Sam had a Baileys each, Ryan and Russ had a couple more beers, and Paul had nearly finished his G&T, they decided to leave.  Well all but Sam and Irina.  You may ask where Lilly was and the answer is, they didn’t know.  She appeared every now and again from under the tables.

Ryan:      What you get, Bob?

Bob:        Croiser!

Paul:       What?

Bob:        Lamd Croiser…

Russ:      Landy!

Paul:       Let’s go.

They all got up and left.

Rini:        I really don’t think he should be driving…

Ryan:      He got the car…

Russ:      He paid for it…

Sam:        …What about Ricardo?

Bob starts the engine.  Next to him is Ryan.  Behind them is Sam, Russel and Rini.  In the back is Paul and Lilly.

Rini:        Does Bob know where to go?

Ryan:      Do you?

Rini:        Yes!

Ryan:      Oh…

Ricardo pushed the door open and had finally reached the Foyer.  Where was everyone?  Was that Paul in that four wheeled drive?

Ricardo: Stop!  Stop!  For the love of God!

Lilly:       Do you here something?

Sam:        What?

Lilly:       Like someone yelling “stop”.

Rini:        Look!  It’s Penite!

Bob started to accelerate.

Ricardo sprinted as fast as he could, this was his only chance.  He jumped.

Paul shrieked!

Lilly:       He missed!  I think we killed him!

Bob stopped.

Ricardo saw his life flash before his eyes.

Bob got out with Ryan.  They walked back to Ricardo and picked his limp body up.  Paul opened the back door and they put him in.  They then got back in and drove away.

Sam:        Did you just touch my butt?

Russel (confused):                …no…I was getting my wallet out…

Sam:        Drunken pervert!

Scene 4

Sam:        Stop staring at me!

Russel:   I was just admiring your beauty.

Sam punches him strongly on the face.

Ryan:      We’re here!

They were outside of a strip club.

Rini:        What the hell are you thinking!

They were walking up to the door.

Russ:      You coming or not?

Rini:        So long as we move on later!

Ryan:      Fine…

Lilly (to Sam):                Where are we going?

Sam:        You wanted to come out with the guys…

Lilly:       What do you mean?

Sam:        Get some ID out.

Bouncer:                Hello Captain Sheep!  These all with you?

Ryan:      Yes.

Bouncer:                That one (points to Lilly) over 18?

Ryan:      Yes.

Bouncer:                Whatever you say.  Your usual table is free.  Please go in.

Ryan:      Thank you Dave.

He gave him a twenty pound note.

Bouncer:                Glad to see you back, sir.

They walked in.

Paul stood at the doorway.  He blocked the girls, and just stared.

Rini:        Come on, move!

Paul uttered something about heaven and he had to go to the toilet.  He ran away.

Lilly looked in and went very pale.

Ryan, Russel and Bob sat down at the table booth next to the stage.  There was a pole right next to them.

Rini (sitting down):    You guys should be ashamed of yourselves!  Buy me a baileys…

Ricardo walked in.  A topless waitress came up to him and asked him if he wanted a good time.

Ricardo: I don’t go for slutty performers!

She walked away crying.

As they sat there, drinking their drinks, the guys with beers, Sam and Rini with Baileys, and Lilly covering her eyes, they noticed Paul was nowhere to be seen.

End of episode 4