Survivor 2

Day 3

Day 3

Scene 1

Finally, the first immunity challenge!  Both teams had been waiting for this.  Emotions were running high as everyone wanted to win it for their team.  Nobody wanted to be the first to be thrown off.

Anthony:                Come on troops!  We will not be beaten by the Nash Poo!

Diana:     Yeah, I was meaning to ask you, what the hell is Nash Poo?

Anthony:                They are the enemy!  We can not be beaten by them!

Vicky (To Anthony):                O…K…(To the tribe)  Come on guys, we can do it!

Jess:       What do you think it will be?

Tom:       I hope it’s a drinking competition!

Sam:        Shut up, Tom!

Tom was then beaten.

Lillian:    Irina, what is this going to be like?  Will we have to calculate stuff?  Remember, I wasn’t with you guys on the island!

Irina:       No, it will be more like something physical, possibly typically Australian.

Ross:      Of course!

Ryan:      It better be something good.

Debbie:  What time do we have to meet?

Scene 2

As the two tribes met, the American host appeared from behind a shed.

Quinn:    Hi guys!  How yawl doin?

The female contingent:                Hi Tom!

Tom (To Anthony):                What can I say, it’s the name.

Anthony just glared at him and Tom backed away.

Quinn:    Well, you guys have got to do something real aussie-like.  (He pronounced it as osssssssy)

Diana:     Great!  How are we supposed to win?

Quinn:    Just try your hardest!

Quinn:    As you can see, we’ve got loads of them sheep things!  You guys got to shear ‘em!  Not with electric thingies, mind you, with these old cutters!

Ryan’s eyes lit up.  An obvious Victorian reaction.

Sam:        Look Tom, that one’s eying you up!

Tom:       Not that again!

After everyone had taken their positions in the two separate sheds.

Quinn:    I need as much wool as possible!  I want fleece stuff, OK?

Ross (To Ryan):                I’m going to kill him.

Quinn:    On your marks.  Get set!…GO!!!!

The participants started with mixed results.

Lillian:    How am I supposed to do this?  It keeps pulling away!

Ross (Clipping wildly):   Just get as much as possible!!

Ryan (clipping with ease):                Come on guys!  It’s easy!

Debbie just squealed as the half sheared sheep bolted.

Irina:       Just another one Debbie!

Paul also squealed, but he hadn’t been able to hold on to one long enough to cut much off.

Jess (Clipping madly):   This isn’t so bad!

Vicky:     OK Mrs Sheep, stay still and this won’t hurt!

Diana:     Stupid damn aussie sheep!

She then kicked it very hard.

Tom (Shearing a still sheep):                I don’t see what the problem is!  They aren’t giving me any hassle!

Anthony:                You stupid slutty cretin!

Sam:        Why am I even bothering!  I hate this place!

Vicky:     Just keep trying, all of you!  I…We have to win!

Anthony:                Aren’t you getting a bit exited?

Vicky:                No…Yes…I just want to win for my tribe!  I want to be a good tribe leader.

Diana:     And you are!

Vicky:     Thank you soo much!

Lillian was on top of a sheep trying to hold on.

Ryan:      How much have you lot done?

Ross:      About fifteen sixteen full sheep.

Irina:       Nearly that.  Maybe thirteen.

Debbie:  I’ve just about got that too.

Paul:       I’m having trouble!

Ryan:      Just say how much!

Paul:       …Two.

Ryan:      Oh no!…What about you Lillian?…Lillian?

Ross turned around

Ross:      Where’d she go?

Irina:       Look over there!

They all followed Irina’s hand.  Lillian could be seen on the back of a sheep heading for the horizon.

Debbie:  Now we’re one person less!

Ryan:      Just keep on going.

Debbie:  Where are those sheep going?

Tom:       …Do you know the way to San Jose?…Do you know the way to San Jose?…Do you…

Jessie:    Don’t you know any more of that song?

Tom:       No…Do you know the way…

Vicky:     I’ve nearly done thirty of these things!

Diana:     Stupid animals!

She kicked another.

Sam:                Aaaaargh!  Damn!  Cut faster!

Anthony:                This is really quite relaxing!..Sing again my angel of beauty…

He then burst into a musical wail!

Jessie:    Oh my God!  Stop him!

Tom:       These sheep want to be shaved!  They just lie there for you!

Vicky:     Maybe for you!

Jessie:    Hey look!  There are sheep lining up near Tom.

Tom:       What did I say!  They obviously like me!  At least I’m not kicking them!

Diana:     Slut!!!!

Quinn:    Time is up!

Ross:      Hey!  I ran out of sheep!

Paul:       I was not made for this!

Quinn:    I will now weigh the fleece.

He clicked his fingers and twelve peasant-looking people hobbled over to the piles.

Quinn:    Where’d that lil’ girl go?  She was just here!

Irina (Smiling):                She was kidnapped by a sheep, Mr Quinn.

Quinn:    Oh well.

After a short while the fleece had been weighed.

Quinn:    I have the results here.  OK guys!  I’ll read it out now!

Everyone was urging him on.

Quinn:    With one kilo of fleece, came Lillian.

Tom:       The same as she weighs!

Sam hit him.

Sam:        Don’t be so mean!  She’s so cute!

Quinn:    With three kilos, Paul.

The goanna team jumped up and started punching Paul, who was screeching like a little girl.

Quinn:    With seven kilos, Anthony.

Anthony:                So!  I didn’t ever say I was good at it!

Vicky:     Don’t worry!

Quinn:    What the…?  Diana, you’re next, but, there seems to be blood all over the fleece.  Did you cut yourself?

Diana (Smiling):                No.

Quinn (Shocked):                OK.  You got nine kilos.  Next was Samant…Sam, with ten kilos.  After that, (To the weighing people)  Is this a joke?

Shaking heads.

Quinn:    …With fifteen kilos, Deb and Jess.

Puzzled looks.

Quinn:    After that, came Irina, with twenty kilos.  Next, came Vicky with twenty-three kilos.

Ross:      Ha Ha!

Quinn:    Ross got twenty-nine kilos.  Ryan got thirty-seven kilos.  Obviously had some practise, hey?

Ryan:      Shut up!

Quinn:    This is the surprise result.  Tom, you got…what?…You’re joking…You got SIXTY-THREE KILOS!

The goanna team just stared open mouthed.

Quinn:    That gives, 105 kilos for the goanas, and 127 kilos for the wombats!

Tom:       What’s that in stone?

Vicky:     We won!  We won!  Yes!!!!

She then proceeded to run around the shed numerous times.

Irina:       What went wrong?!?

Ryan:      Look you stupid American retard!  They stole our sheep!

Quinn just smiled.

Quinn:    What you guys say?  I can’t understand your accents!

Ross:      You stupid INBRED!!!!

Ross jumped to his feet.  As he bolted towards Quinn, Debbie and Irina tackled him.

Quinn:    See you guys at the Aboriginal Council.

Anthony:                What was that?

Quinn:    I don’t know.  Some aussie word.

Ross (From underneath his team mates):                I’ll kill him!  Kill him!  Sleep with your eyes open!!!!

Scene 3

Back at the Goana camp.

Irina:                Whoever is chosen, remember, no hard feelings.  Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with being “removed”.

Ross just started breathing heavily with an evil look on his face.

Ryan:      I’m going for a walk.

Debbie:  Be back for the Abo thing.

Ryan:                Whatever…

Paul:       Where’s Lillian?

Debbie:  Mr Quinn said he would go and find her.

As he lifted her small body on to the back of a ute (with one hand), she looked up at him.

Lillian (whispering):                Did we win?

Quinn:    No!  You guys lost pretty bad.

He said this with a blank look on his face.

Lillian just passed out again.

As Ryan walked across the plain, he threw a rock at a cat.  He was disappointed about the immunity thing.  He did not know that he was being watched.

Debbie:  Say something, Lillian!

Quinn:    Maybe I should call the doctor.

Paul:       No!!!!!!

Quinn:    Sorry.

The blast came from nowhere.  It wizzed past Ryan’s head.

Sam:                Aaaaaaargh!!!  He’s so thin!!!!!  I can barely see him side on!!!! 

Ryan hid quickly.

Sam:        Where’d he go?  He was just there!  Damn!!!!

Ryan was hiding behind a small tree.

Scene 4

Quinn:                Welcome to Aboriginal Council!  You guys all have on of those things over there.

He pointed to a boomerang-shaped petrol torch. 

Quinn:    When you guys are kicked off, we blow it out and give it to one of those guys at the closest towns who are offering good money.  Apparently it’s for some dry thing…town or something.  Maybe they don’t get any rain.

Paul:       GET ON WITH IT!!!!!

Ross:      You stupid fool!  You will die.

Ryan:      Can we vote now?

Quinn:    Where are you two from?  Is it Canada?  I thought it was!

Irina:                Voting…Yes!  Are…we…doing…it?

Quinn:    You guys don’t have to talk slow!  Yeah sure.  I’ll call you up one at a time!

Scene 5

Quinn collected the votes.  He smiled another blank smile.  Silently, rain started to drizzle, then pour.

Quinn:    I will now read out the votes…

Ryan:      Hurry up!

Quinn:    …You sure you guys don’t come from Canada?  Anyway, I’ll read out the votes in any order.

He reached into the petrol can and retrieved a small piece of brown paper.

Quinn:    OK, guys, the first vote is:   Paul!  How about that!  Hey, someone don’t like you.

Paul (To himself):                It’s the first one!  It can still be someone else!

Quinn:    Oh well.  The votes now go:          Lillian, Irina…well you guys don’t like each other…Lillian, Paul.

Lillian looked pale!  Paul was on the verge of tears.

Quinn:    Well the next vote is the decider!  If it is Paul, he’s gone.  If it is Lillian, she’s gone.  If it is Irina, then, well…

He whispered something to the cameraman.

Quinn:    …then we have a revote!  Same with anyone else!

Ross had some sort of fit and threw a small rock at Quinn.  Quinn just smiled blankly back at him.

Quinn:                Well….it’s Paul!

Paul:                NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Irina:       Yes!

Paul shot her a tearful glance.

Irina:       I’m sorry!  Paul I didn’t mean it!  Paul!

Paul got up and ran away towards the kick-off booth.

Quinn:    See you guys later.

He got up, extinguished the petrol flame in the boomerang, and carried it to the ute.

Lillian:    Thank god!…Hey!  Who voted for me!

Ross:      It was confidential!  We can’t tell.

Debbie:                Anyway, it was just Paul.  We haven’t really lost much.

Ryan:      Yeah.  He isn’t really much of a loss.

Irina:       You people are so cruel!  How could you say that!

Ross:      You’re the one who called out “YES” when he was picked!

Irina:       …

Debbie just started to hit Ross again.

At that time in the kick-off booth.

Paul:       I didn’t know what went wrong!  Then it came to me.  It is all Ross’s fault.  He is evil!  He is moving in on my girl!

The cameraman behind the wall started to laugh.

Paul:       ?

He burst into hysterics!

Paul:       Shut up!  You’re not supposed to interact with us!

Cameraman:                Hey!  You’re off the show!  You’re a loser!  Go home!

He then collapsed in more laughter.

Paul:       I will kill you!  Then I will kill Ross!

Paul then burst through the wall and started to hit the cameraman.  It obviously wasn’t hurting him as he kept on laughing.

Paul:       Die!