Survivor 2
Introduction and Day 0
Cast:
Antony Diana Debbie Jessie Irina Lillian Paul Ross Ryan Sam Tom Vicky
Introduction:
After the success of the KES Survivor series the common public has called for more! The same group of unfortunate people have been once again dropped off into the middle of nowhere. The North West Queensland Bush to be precise.
Day 0
Scene 1
It is mid-afternoon.
As the helicopter hovers and then heads off into the sky, the twelve
participants rummaged around through the crates left for them.
Due to past experience they knew what to expect from the producers of the
show. Not much!
Irina: Now everyone we need to collect
useful implements for shelter construction, cooking and hunting!
I’ve got a shovel like thingy.
Tom: Do we have to do this now?
I’m tired. I had a long
night and need to sleep. I really
do not feel well.
Diana: That’ll teach you to drink all night long
before our second TV show!
Tom: I wasn’t drinking!
I was playing chess! Tequila
style!
Diana: Who were you playing with?
I don’t remember seeing anyone else pissed!
Tom: I was playing by myself!
I needed the practice!
Over the other side of
gathering, the twin sisters were giggling by themselves as usual.
Jessie:
What is this?
Debbie:He he!
What is it Jessie?
Jessie:
I don’t know!
In their hands was a long and
thin cylindrical metal container.
Debbie:Does anyone know…
Jessie:
…what this is?
The twins then proceeded to
laugh uncontrollably.
Ross: That’s my adrenaline syringe.
For my allergies!
Jessie and Debbie together:
Oh.
This was followed by more
uncontrollable laughter.
Sitting in the shade of a
eucalypt, Ant was cradling a small book with a bold “P” on the front cover.
Whispering to himself..
Anthony:
They won’t ever get their hands on this. Nash
Poo scum! Die! Die! Die!
Ryan was examining a metre
long box. Inside was a small .22
survival rifle.
Sam: What’s that you’ve got
their, Ryan?
Ryan (In a very evil tone):
Oh, nothing.
He said with a wide-eyed evil
smirk! Sam looked a little shocked
and then quickly turned back to another crate.
Lillian was whispering to
herself and looked very worried.
Lillian (Quietly):
…The first ionisation energy is the energy taken to remove one mole
of…
Sam (To Irina, worriedly):
I think Lillian is scared! She
is reciting chemistry notes!
Irina: She’ll be OK.
Just keep Ryan away from her.
Sam: My pleasure!
While looking through a large
crate with a few supplies, Vicky talked in a worried tone.
Vicky: We need to find food and water.
There’s hardly any here. What’s
this…?
Her face lit up…
Vicky: …It’s a rugby ball!
This must be for our entertainment!
Goody! I was starting to
think that this would be as boring as the last trip!
At that same time, thousands
of kilometres away a lone shipping attendant mutters to himself with a sad look
on his face…
Dean: Gilbert!
Where are you, son? Where’s
my Gilbert!
Back at the camp
Irina: Ouch!
Irina removed her hand from
her crate and quickly sucked the bleeding finger. Ross came to see what was wrong.
Ross: What happened?
Irina: I don’t know.
I cut myself on something sharp.
Ross’s eyes lit up as he
reached into the crate and pulled out a long hunting knife with a leather pouch.
Ross: Ha Ha!
A knife!
He then proceeded to run off
into the thick scrub laughing in what only can be described as an evil
Australian laugh!
When no one was looking, Diana
carefully reached into her pocket and removed a small wooden carved instrument.
It was a small, carved pipe. She
thought to herself that this was much better than the cigarettes she brought to
the tropical island. At least now
she could smoke anything when the tobacco ran out.
Wasn’t it Ross who said dope grows naturally in Australia?
Brilliant!
Later on after everything had
been unpacked and fiddled with:
Everyone was sitting in a
rough circular shape on the ground trying to remember what they were supposed to
do next.
Irina: Does anyone know where we are? Where water is? What
is around us?
To every answer was the
communal reply of shaking heads.
Vicky: Perhaps we should split up.
Some of us build shelters while others look for water.
It will be dark in an hour or so I guess.
Irina smiled.
They finally wanted to build shelters!
Irina: Tom go over that way.
Look for any water. Don’t
go too far! Come back soon!
She was speaking slowly and in
short bursts for a hungover Tom, so that he would comprehend!
Tom: Cushdy!
Irina: Ant.
You go that way. Debbie,
that way. And Jessie, that way.
After a short depressed look.
Jessie (Quietly):
Bye bye Debbie!
Debbie (Quietly):Bye, Jessie!
I’ll miss you!
Suddenly, there was a crashing
in the trees and Ross appeared from an overhanging branch.
Vicky: And where have you been, monkey boy?
Ross: Out.
Sam (Nastily):
Ryan was here the whole time, so what were you doing?
Ross (Not impressed):
Very funny! I caught a
possum. Me wants some meat for dinner.
This here is good bush tucka, yeah mate!
Just then Sam screamed as Paul
put his arm around her and asked her to beat him like a welsh rugby player
(hard!). Paul had obviously been
crawling along for the last ten minutes to get close. Sam had been thrown off guard, as there was no pea soup aura
around Paul. It had been hours
since his last mug!
Irina (Angrily):
Paul, go help Tom! NOW!
Vicky (To Ross):
What does possum taste like?
Ross: Pretty good, eh!
Vicky: ?
Irina: Why are you talking like that?
Ross: It’s Abo talk!
I’m just really happy!
Diana: And why is that?
(She thought “How could he be happy?
She wasn’t. She needed
Nicotine!”)
Ross: I’m home!
Ryan: I know what you mean!
It’s not Victoria, but it’s home!
Paul (Under his breath):
Yeah! There’s no sheep shagging!
After a brief musical
interlude, the Australian National Anthem, the group decided that it was too
late to build a shelter. They might
as well eat the marsupial!
A little while later the fire
burned. The others had been called
back. Anthony was still cradling
his book. Deb and Jess were happily
together again. Paul had found Tom
in a hole, passed out.
They all ate the possum.
All except the Aussies thought it tasted awful.
They thought it was perfect!
After dinner they all lay
together except for Paul who was first on watch. On watch for what he did not know. Ryan hadn’t mentioned the wild bushpigs and Ross hadn’t
mentioned the dingoes. Lillian was
still looking worried.