You know you own a BIG dog when...
- you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair.
- it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets.
- you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea
who these people are.
- you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty.
- your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully
inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm
not eating anything!"
- you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle.
- you keep at least one colorcoded "drool towel" in every room of yourhouse.
- after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps
you awake.
- you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have
an environmental impact statement done on your dog.
- you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on
the top of the doorway.
- you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm,
causing you to make random right turns.
- you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub.
- your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the
ceiling fan down for the second time.
- you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wantsa drink.
- you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first
person you point out is your dog.
- while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back
and forth because the dog is panting out the window.
- you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on theceiling.
- the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.
- your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a
large home, buy jet skis and a personal plan.
- you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are
in the sink.
- the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get
home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose.
- your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in
the preparation.
- you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell
rings, and you find yourself quickly transported straight to the frontdoor.
- the pizza delivery people arrange to meet you at the end of thesidewalk.
- your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in
the drive-through window at McDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a
heart attack when she turns around to give you your change.
- you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program
when he stands in front of the television.