Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and
ask your neighbour, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips
on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks
the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that colour before."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then
drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height
of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours
while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a
wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall
wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you
kick that back over here please?"

13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall
with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy
vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and
splatter cream corn all about. Apologise profusely and
blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.

15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small.
Now what am I gonna do?"

17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on
your butt cheeks.

18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down
your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor
visible to the adjacent stall.

19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust
it so you can see your neighbour and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and
sing "Born Free".