100 ways of knowing you're a computer scientist:
86 written by Pro. Igor Simunovic
1. Asked about your religion you reply "Unix" or if your me c++;
2. You are your own nameserver;
3. You know what a nameserver is;
4. You think knowing C means your bi-lingual;
5. You regard emacs users as the enemy;
6. You regard vi users as your friend;
7. You regard everybody else as DOS users;
8. You have installed Linux at least three times;
9. You load Doom so you can play DOS;
10. You write your homepage using vi and not some wimpy HTML converter;
11. You can translate this sentence;
12. The number of times you've used Windows 3. 11 you can count on one hand;
13. You wish your brain had its own IP address;
14. You know at leat 30 ftp sites off the top of your head;
15. You think working at Microsoft is degrading;
16. You've hit the power switch on a Mac to eject a disk;
17. When asked about Macs you reply "Sorry I don't play with toys;"
18. You follow software version numbers the way people do baseball stats;
19. You check your mail at least 10 times daily;
20. You subscribe to mailing lists just to fill your mailbox;
21. Nobody sends you e-mail;
22. You've fake mailed somebody;
23. You know what ports 7,23,25,79 and 80 mean;
24. You do all your assignments the night before;
25. Your still trying to discover what that Formal Logic and Discrete Maths course was good for;
26. People walk up to you and say "You always seem to be logged in";
27. You've hacked somebody's account;
28. You have made "free" phone calls;
29. You know root's password on some system;
30. You know root's password on some system that isn't your own;
31. You log in as root and proceed to go through your own home directory deleting files for a power trip;
32. You log in as yourself and proceed to go through other people's home directorys for a power trip;
33. You have told a friend "Gee, the security on this system sucks. Here let me show you";
34. Your high school comp. sci. teacher was an idiot;
35. You've lectured a computer teacher, pointing out all the mistakes they made in their lesson;
36. You've done this in front of the class;
37. All computing activity must take place within easy reach of caffeine;
38. You have drank beer and programmed at the same time;
39. You've written better code while under the influence of alcohol;
40. You have told a Microsoft joke;
41. You worry that if you drop out now you'll become another Bill Gates;
42. Your comp. sci. TA gives you low marks because they are jealous of your superior programming abilities;
43. You have downloaded dirty JPEGs before you were 18;
44. You remember unix passwords but not your bank card PIN numbers;
45. You can pick out a computer conversion a mile away;
46. You have beaten somebody up for saying "information superhighway";
47. You put somebody's surfboard where the sun don't shine for saying "Surf the net";
48. You picked comp sci to meet women;
49. You never date;
50. Your last girlfriend was on a CD-ROM;
51. You have more then 5 unix accounts;
52. You post all your unix accounts in your . sig file;
53. Your homepage contains the phrase "this Web page is still under construction;"
54. You drool over computer specs;
55. You drool over yourself;
56. You've worn your clothes more then once without washing them;
57. You never wash your clothes;
58. You wear glasses or should be wearing glasses;
59. You have told an engineer joke;
60. You think engineers are a joke;
61. You cringe when an engineer uses a computer;
62. Nobody uses your computer except for yourself;
63. People have died for using your computer without your permission;
64. You've done hardware repair over the phone;
65. You've introduced yourself using your e-mail address;
66. You broke out laughing in Jurassic Park when the girl said, "Hey this is Unix. I know Unix;"
67. You associate GUIs with computer illiteracy;
68. You associate Microsoft with computer illiteracy;
69. Your mouse collects dust;
70. You can count in base 2 : 2,4,8,16,32,64,128,256,512,1024,2048,4096,8192;
71. Your hard drive is all neatly organized but everything around your computer is a mess;
72. There are at least 6 empty Coke cans surrounding your computer;
73. You haven't seen sunlight in the last 72 hours;
74. You think Star Trek is real;
75. You can't do math;
76. Everybody thinks you are weird;
77. Everybody else is weird and your normal;
78. You have collected at least 200 computer viruses;
79. You wrote 50 of your viruses;
80. Root has sent you mail asking what were you doing;
81. Sys Admins snoop your tty sessions "just in case";
82. You snoop your sys. admin's tty sessions "just in case";
83. You wrote your resume in PostScript;
84. You ftp'ed all your Linux disks;
85. You only read the manual after you have screwed something up;
86. You never comment your code;
87. Your user documentation is just a print out of the source code;
88. You are thought of as a god when the computer goes down;
89. You send mail to people using mail;
90. You know Microsoft is the biggest threat to democracy since communism;
91. You watch idiot's guide to computers television shows just to pick out all the mistakes and to realize how smart you are;
92. People engage in conversations with you just to realize how dumb they are;
93. You have turned an English essay into a computer science project;
94. You always make sure you have an ASCII table handy;
95. You don't know what the word "backup" means;
96. You have a fond affection for Digital VT100 terminals;
97. You're still a virgin;
98. You never brush your teeth;
99. You haven't figured out how to program a VCR;
and
100. You would rather step in sh*t at Reynolds then sleep with it at Thornbrough. (for all non-University of Guelph comp. sci's it means "You'd rather be a comp. sci major then an engineer.")