Part 2 of "Dream Lover" by Kim Riley.

"What's wrong?" Tom asked Julian as he watched the young doctor enter the small cottage that somehow became their home in Paris France over the last two months. Tom could see that Julian was up set and was about to raise himself from the sofa when his love raced into his arms and started to cry, though he could feel there was a problem long before Julian arrived. He sobbed so hard that Tom felt his own tears start to flow for his love's pain was so deep it wrenched his own soul as well. After the sobbing had decreased, "Love, what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"She's gone," he sobbed. "She's dead...I...I tried," he sobbed some more.

"Who's gone, love?" he asked while soothing Julian's back. He was greeted with tear stained dark eyes that looked like he lost his best friend, then it hit him. "Jadzia?" he asked in hopes that he was wrong. Though Tom believed that all the characters that Julian discussed but Tom never saw, were still just a part of his dream world, but they were real enough to Julian and some how became real enough to himself. During the many meetings over the many months that Julian had sprung up in his dream world, they had come very close and Julian came with an entire past, filled with horrors, deep seeded secrets, pain, angst, hope, and a present family made of the station personnel on DS9. Tom felt that his mind chose DS9 for it was the last station he had been on, but still there were times, like now, that all this...well, Julian, seemed very real indeed.

He saw more tears fall from Julian's eyes as he reached up and wiped some of them away. Seeing the pain and sorrow he knew he was right, and though in the back of his mind he told himself to dream it all okay, he knew for some reason that he couldn't. "What happened?"

Through tears and sobs, Julian told Tom about Dukat and Jadzia, and barley able to save the symbiont, but Jadzia was dead...he had failed her. "I...I couldn't think...I..."

"Stop that, Julian!" Tom said firmly with love and concern. "You did all you could. You know that anyone else would have lost the Dax symbiont as well, but you...YOU, prevented that from happening. You did NOT put the phaser in Dukat's hands. You did not pull the trigger, and you did not fail her," he insisted. He understood Julian very much for on this level they were much the same and it was one of many things that made the bond between them so strong, so personal, and so deep. "I'm sorry Death won, but it didn't have the perfect score it could have had if you hadn't been there and you know it, she knows it," he finally said and hugged his love tightly. He knew that Julian would and needed to grieve, but he'd be there for his friend and lover the entire time, no matter if he had to force himself to stay a sleep.

The end result was by the time Julian was well enough to be left along; Tom woke up and found Commander Chakotay and security at the foot of his bed, the Commander ready to beam Tom to sickbay. Tom didn't say a word and let the doctor check him out. He said that Tom's blood pressure was up, hell yeah! Tom was afraid that some how they would find out about Julian and force him away...he couldn't let that happen. Julian needed him, and he needed Julian. In the end, the doctor declared him all right and Tom had to face a twenty-minute lecture about being a responsible officer from Commander Chakotay.

*****************

Tom didn't mind the teasing that followed him over the last six months. He was happy though he had his moody days, for those nights he couldn't reach Julian, due to the war the young doctor had said, and the crew was just so damn curious as to who it was that was the cause of his behavior. Tom knew he made a mistake by telling Harry and B'Elanna that he was in love, for he couldn't tell them with whom and of course they wanted to know, so word hit the gossip line and the teasing started. But he didn't care. He lived for two things, to fly Voyager and dream...to be with Julian. He was so amazed at how real and in depth Julian was or of the secrets they shared. He was even impressed that Julian was even smarter than he was, //one for the record books, // he teased himself. //My dream lover is three times as smart as I am, // he would chuckle inside, //and ten times as warm, loving and compassionate. Oh, the power of the subconscious! //.

Tom just decided to clam up on the subject of what was making him so deliriously happy and danced around it whenever it was brought up. The Command staff couldn't complain, for his performance was way up and he even managed not to get into any trouble for over four of the six months he was now dreaming of Julian. No, they were impressed and wanted to know too, but Tom sidestepped them as well. The last thing he wanted was them to know he suffered badly from a case of wanting to marry his dream lover...no way. Though a part of him knew it was crazy, he feared more that if they found out, they'd give him some medicine and he'd lose Julian forever...he couldn't bear that, but they were starting to get a bit more...pushy on knowing what was motivating him lately.

Janeway did pull him aside again today and asked why he was spending so little of his free time with his friends like he use too and that she noticed he was going to bed very early but still just managing to show up for shift minutes before he was late. Tom didn't like to lie, especially to the Captain, but in order to protect Julian he did. He told her that he was getting into self-exploration and was getting into deep mediation, but that it was sometimes draining and he'd whined up asleep. Then he sidestepped her again with his charm and moved on with his day, knowing the Captain wasn't convinced, but since his duty performance was way up, she had no room to maneuver in, and she had made it a policy not to interfere in personal lives, and this was very personal.

Janeway had shifted the morning briefing to this afternoon, for they all had been pulling long shifts. Engineering was working on an array idea that might let them contact the Alpha quadrant, but half of the crew was down sick with some sort of virus. The EMH was only able to confirm that only those who had gone down to the last planet suffered from it and that it wasn't contagious, but he forbid anyone going back down there in concern that others may suffer too. The problem was that sensors didn't pick up the virus in the first place and even more in detailed readings were getting them no where.

Janeway had reassigned Seven and all available crew to help the Doctor in finding a cure, for the longer they were fighting this illness, the more likely crew would soon start to die. This had been going on for a week and over the thirty people infected, twelve of them were now in stasis, and five where about to have stasis break down, a side affect of the virus. This meant that instead of keeping the person safe till a cure was found, it only slowed it down, they still could die. The stress of the situation was so much that Tom had been talking about it to Julian who took it very seriously and even asked him questions he didn't quite understand but made a point to find out, since it was important to the young doctor. Last night he and Julian met, made love, made love again, and talked. Julian made him memorize a lot of information as he laughed about taking his free time and researching a make believe illness, but found it strange that he did indeed find it and what he though should be done.

Tom and Julian still played the running joke that the other was the dream lover and they were the real one, and no matter how strange things got or how real, they never pressed the issue. But they did start taking the other one seriously, so when one hurt, so did the other, for they were most definitely in love. When on discussed a problem, like Julian keeping people out of his files, Tom went to a lot of trouble to write a lock program that only he and Julian could get through. Tom was very happy when Julian reported how effective it was, and that Captain Sisko was impressed, since he was the one tampering around along with the nurses. Julian laughed and showed in a very physical way how grateful he was. So as he listened to the less then hopeful voices he didn't feel quite as strange about speaking up.

"Ah, Doctor?" he asked the EMH.

"Yes, Mr. Paris?" he asked casually.

"Um, I have something I'd like you and Seven to take a look at," he said as he down loaded the information he copied down first thing this morning so he wouldn't forget a thing.

He watched as Seven and the EMH looked over what Julian said should solve their problem and waited, wondering how insane they were going to think him for this. He noted the surprise in both their faces. //Here we go? // He thought, bracing himself for the mockery.

"Mr. Paris, where...how...when did you come up with these calculations?" the EMH asked, almost stuttering like a surprised student.

"Um...last night," he said softly, feeling a bit uncomfortable and trying not to winch under the gazes he was getting.

"What is it, Doctor?" Janeway asked.

Seven spoke, "I do believe that single handedly, Mister Paris has solved our Virus problem, though a practical test will be needed to verify this solution to be true. Though I am amazed that Mister Paris was able to gain such in-depth knowledge of the medical situation at his level of biology and medical background," he stated.

"It's all right here, Captain," the Doctor exclaimed. "I can't believe we never saw it, but it's all here, it all makes sense. Captain permission to try out Mister Paris's information. If it pans out as it looks here, we could have the crew back up and ready for duty in a week," he mused with hope.

Janeway was weary of this, but since nothing else was working, "Very well, but I want a report as soon as possible," she ordered and then let Seven and the EMH tend to their task. Then she looked over at Tom, "Care to explain the medical miracle?" she asked, a mix between a tease and seriousness.

Tom flushed, "Well...it came to me while I slept," he said, thinking that part of the truth was better than an outward lie. Tom was floored that this idea might actually work, for Seven was right, he didn't have this kind of back ground to come up with a cure...but some how...Julian did.

With in two hours the EMH reported that it was indeed a cure and Tom was thrilled, amazed and puzzled. How did Julian do it? How did he do it if Julian was his creation? But Tom was more relieved that the crew, especially the command staff, was too caught up in celebration of the good news they forgot about Tom's miracle...but not for long.

Tom was having lunch when Harry walked up to him and patted him on the back wishing him congratulations on a fine job with helping to finding a cure, for B'Elanna was one of the one's in stasis, and Harry was totally in love with her. But Tom had had enough of being thanked for something he still felt he didn't do. "I didn't do it," he growled, for Tom didn't like taking credit for that which was not his.

"What are you talking about, Tom? I was there at the briefing, I heard you..." Harry was saying.

"Julian came up with the cure not me!" he exclaimed in frustration before he realized what he was saying then his eyes widen in horror at what he just said. "Ah, never mind," he snapped quickly and tried to move away, but Harry's hand clamped down on him hard.

"Run that by me again? Who is Julian?" Harry asked, taken to deep concern by the expression of fear on Tom's face...fear of discovery.

"I've go to go," Tom said, trying to move but Harry wouldn't let him go.

"Tom?" he asked in that tone that let Paris know he was serious.

"Look, Ensign, I have to go," Tom said, trying to pull rank.

"You can put me on report after you tell me what's going on and who is Julian?" Harry asked. For he like everyone else, knew everyone else on board, so he thought.

Tom could see he had slipped and either confess or risk losing his best friend. "All right," he said as he leaned in real close so only Harry could here him. "But swear, and I do me swear that this conversation stays between you and me, and if you laugh, so help me..." he said, this seriousness clear in his eyes.

"I swear," Harry said, now more concerned.

"Julian is...a ...friend...who's very special to me and very smart. He came up with the cure," Tom realized he couldn't say anymore...didn't even want to try. "And that's all you need to know," he said as he pulled his arm away and exited the mess hall.

Harry mad a mental note to track down this Julian, for Harry was concerned to who was that smart to go so unnoticed on the ship, or it could be an alien messing with his friend. It wasn't the first time things like that had happened. He was concerned for his dear friend and wasn't going to let it go till he got to the bottom of it.

***************

Julian didn't mind Miles and Garak harassing him about his mood swings or their attempt to find out who was making him glow. Miles had threaten him and he still kept him in the dark, and was beside himself with personal pride when Elim Garak confessed that even he couldn't figure this mystery out. After a few months, Julian was glad that his friends decided that they had more important distractions than his love life, like trying to fix him up with the new councilor...Ezri Dax.

Julian didn't want a thing to do with her and made it clear after a week

that they needed to get a new hobby or a new friend. But all this was minor

compared to the on going war with the Dominion. Julian thanked the fates for

Tom, even if he wasn't real...though he wondered why the beautiful blond

felt more real than anything he ever experienced before, but fear of

figuring it out and losing him made Julian put it aside. He moved through

his days with an untouchable anchor and he felt blessed, for those he

thought he could look up too, like Sisko, had failed him. Sisko was back and

they were all getting ready to depart on a mission, but Sisko had gone back

to earth, leaving Julian to deal with Jadzia's death alone...in the real

world, thank heavens for Tom

The mission was going well and then the ship was attacked. Once again Julian was called to the bridge for numerous medical emergencies. He arrived and went to work doing triage and sending those in order to sickbay and stabilizing those he could till they could be taken to sickbay. The Dominion was hitting the Defiant hard as the ship shuttered and rolled from the impact.

Sisko had given his orders and those of the crew left on the bride. They did their best to carry them out. They were successful in destroying the single Jem Hadar ship that was left, but the explosion of that vessel damaged the Defiant and hit the bridge section hard. If Julian hadn't been toward the back and crouched down between a couple of patients he'd been just as injured as the rest of the crew.

It was dark except for the lights off the control panels that were still

working. Julian pushed himself up and saw everyone was badly hurt and out

cold. He noticed a chunk of the ship's hull was missing and thanked the

fates again that the emergency shielding worked. He also noticed that the

ship was spiraling out of control toward Bajor. He cried out to see if

anyone was awake beside himself as he moved toward the pilot seat that sadly

was now empty, a victim of the hull breech. No one answered him as he took a

seat and tried to get the ship under control, but the standard training he

had didn't seem to be of any use here, he couldn't get the ship to respond

properly. "Bridge to engineering" he yelled over his com badge, but no

answer. "Bride to anyone!" he shouted, but still no answer. He saw what was

happening, panic filled him. He didn't want these people to die, nor anyone

on Bajor, but he couldn't set the self-destruct himself and he couldn't

handle the controls...//OH HEAVEN'S TOM I WISH YOU WERE HERE! //

************

Tom was in Sandrine' s. Having a drink with B'Elanna and the Delaney twins, avoiding Harry's prying eyes. He knew his best friend was going to be a pest about his little news, but he had hoped with some time he'd just forget it. He was concerned when Harry joined them tonight, but after a couple of drinks and jokes, all was forgotten. Then the girls left and Harry and Tom were left alone to discuss them.

"So, have you asked her out yet?" Tom asked Harry, who he knew was in love with B'Elanna but way too insecure about it. He felt that if he kept it up he'd pressure his young friend into it.

"No, Tom I haven't, for I'm still breathing aren't I?" Harry stated with a light chuckle to cover up a real fear that, which just may be the case if he did approach B'Elanna and she didn't want him too. "Besides, I'm not sure that would be a good idea," he added.

"Come on Har, you know your crazy about her. Shit, don't you know that it's Klingon tradition for the male to quote things like poetry and all that sweet stuff and the woman throws things at him and tries to fight him...unless she doesn't like the guy, then she ignores him," Tom smirked.

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Really, beside..." Tom's voice trailed. His eyes widened with fear and concern, "Julian!" he cried in concern to himself, not caring about his surroundings.

Harry looked at his friend puzzled, "What about him?" he asked.

"I'm here, Love, don't panic. Yes, I can see, just hang on," Tom was saying though his eyes were unfocused as he seemed to be looking past everything and looking at something else.

Harry tried several times to get Tom's attention and failed. He was debating to contact the EMH as he listened to Tom's strange one-sided conversation.

"Okay, sweetheart...take a deep breath and listen. Your going to have to by pass the stabilizers, they're obviously not working right. Now...yes that's it, you got it. Now transfer the extra power to the right...yes, because it's the strongest and can take the extra pressure your going to be giving it. Yes, that's it. I'm here baby, just breath, your doing fine," Tom said, though he himself had started to sweat with serious concern.

Harry did contact someone, he turned to see Janeway and called her over and told her what they were talking about and then pointed to Paris as he was sitting there, talking to no one about some kind of emergency. Janeway moved over with Harry and also tried to talk to Tom and got no response.

"Okay, now that's done, turn off the good engine and brace your self, the lack of power will force you into a reversal spin, and when I say turn back on the good one to counter the spin. You can do it, I know you can, you have to try Julian...trust me!" he exclaimed.

Janeway looked at Harry, and he was so concerned about Tom he confessed their last conversation about Julian being the one who discovered the cure. Janeway mused that Tom must be in some telepathic link with some one and was strongly annoyed that he didn't report it. She contacted Tuvok.

"Yes! That's it. Now alternate...yes...now faster...see your stopping the spin...Excellent," he grinned. "Alright, now we have to get you stable. Yes use the...shit! It's out. Okay, don't panic, I'm with you," Tom encouraged again. "How fast can you convert the power cells? Yes...if you can do it fast enough...I know, but this isn't a time to think like that...Julian, Damn it! Push your self...yes...yes you can, now start alternating them..." Tom looked stricken with fear, the intensity in his face all too real. The sweat had tripled and his hands had rubbed the glass in his hands till they were raw. He was also holding his breath. "Yes!" he shouted in glee. "You did it! Ah, I knew you could," he replied warmly.

Tuvok had entered in and watched the latter part of the exchange and looked at the Captain, "I've reached out and...there does seem to be some sort of connection, but it is not a typical telepathic link. I'm not even a hundred percent sure from simple observation that it's not all occurring from within Mr. Paris's head. I'd need to investigate this more."

Janeway was watching the exchange, and by the vast amount of emotion she was witnessing on Tom's face, and the dialogue she was hearing, she was convinced that, at least to Tom it was a piloting crisis, and Julian was obviously someone or something of great importance, from the looks of concern and the terms of endearment that Tom was using.

"Okay, okay, you did great. Now see that large asteroid? Yes, use its

gravity to keep you stable till repairs or help arrive...okay?" Tom said, a

small smile on his face as his eyes took on a deep loving look. "That's it,"

he sighed in relief. "I don't either, but I'm glad all worked

out...yes...yes, do what you got to do, yes...I love you too," then after

what seemed to be a long intense stare, Tom blinked and shook his head and

was stunned by the three faces who were staring at him. //Shit! Did that

really happen while I was a wake? //

"Tom, I do think you owe me an explanation," Janeway stated with her arms crossed her chest, though she was concerned.

Tom looked from her to Tuvok and Harry. By the look in his friend's face...guilt, he'd spilled the beans, "Um..." he gave a weary smile for he didn't know what to say.

***************

Julian hadn't slept in over 48 hrs, for there were so many injured on the Defiant and he was the only one capable till help arrived, then he ignored the other Doctors and made sure to save as many of the injured crew and friends as he could. Though there was still death, the numbers were so much lower compared to what it could have been.

He did have time to patch himself up a bit and wash most of the blood off while on the Enterprise as he was called up to the Captain's office. He reported to see Captain Sisko, still in need of rest by his call, and Captain Picard, and a Admiral that looked somewhat familiar. "Sir's," he said properly.

"Doctor Bashir, I presume," the Admiral said as he stood to greet the young doctor and shook his hand. "I'm told you're quite the hero," he said warmly.

"Me, sir?" Julian said, not understanding.

"Doctor, forgive me," Picard said with a smile. "This is Admiral Paris, and Captain Sisko has just been informing us how you managed to single handedly save the Defiant from crashing on Bajor. Very impressive," Picard said with pride.

"I must agree, Doctor Bashir. Very impressive indeed. Why I haven't seen such flying since..." Admiral Paris grew a bit distant. "Since my son," he replied with some pride. "Please have a seat," he said.

Picard being a good host, "Care for anything to drink, Doctor?"

"Um...no thank you," he said to nervous to drink anything.

"Ben, Owen?" Picard asked.

//Owen! Owen Paris? That's the name of Tom's father? Could I have...? But I didn't know anything about Tom before... Yet he was there on the bridge, I wasn't asleep... // "Sir, your son...he's a...good pilot, sir?" Julian asked, not sure how to broach the subject, for he wanted to know about his son and what the coincidence was.

"Tom was a good pilot," Owen said softly, then took a deep breath as if making a resolve. "Sadly he was lost with all the hands of the Voyager in the badlands," Owen replied as he took his drink from Picard as did Ben. No one saw the paled look that filled Julian's face hearing just how real the turn of events were sounding from his dream lover. //Could it...? // Julian just couldn't think straight, this was just too much.

"Julian, I want to say how proud of you I am," Sisko was saying, his eyes beaming with pride and gratitude. "You saved us all," he added.

"You want to tell us about it?" Owen asked.

Julian thought about it, he couldn't tell them that Tom...a dream lover, called Tom Paris of all people talked him through it. Fortunately he yawned, "excuse me, sir" he said between another yawn.

"When was the last time you slept Doctor?" Owen asked with concern.

"I think just before we left for the mission," Julian said honestly.

"That was two days ago!" Sisko responded in annoyed concerned.

"Then forget the tale and I hereby order you off duty for the next two days to rest up," Owen said. "Don't worry, you'll have plenty to keep you busy soon enough," he said seeing the look on the young doctor's face. He stood up so Julian could as determined by protocol, and shook the young man's hand again. "I know there's been a lot of...crap," he said, more than comfortable with the word, but trying to maintain some dignity, "About your past, Doctor. But I've read your file and even without this up coming commendation, your one hell of an officer, Doctor. If anyone decides to give you any problems about your enhancements again, know for a fact you can count me in on your side," he said.

Julian looked in the eyes of the man that supposedly made Tom's life a living hell and saw...regret, sorrow, and a strange understanding. "Thank you, sir," he said softly.

"That goes for me too," Picard added.

"Julian," Sisko said, and waited for the young man to look at him. "Go to bed," he smiled.

Julian again gave his thanks and went to his quarters, but instead of sleep he accessed the computer for all the information about one Tom Pairs.

*****************

"Well?" Janeway asked of the EMH.

The Doctor having finished his scans of Tom Paris looked over his result

and then to the Captain. "He does show signs of high sensitivity in the

areas of his brain that would leave him...vulnerable to a telepathic

connection and the area responsible for the state of sleep known as REM his

also heightened. But this sensitivity is of no danger to Mr. Paris or his

ability to function. As for his...friend in the dream being an alien? I

don't detected anything to that nature, Captain"

Janeway looked at a very quite Tom Paris, who was sitting on the bed very nervous. "Thank you, Doctor," she said in her dismissing tone. As soon as the EMH was gone, "Tom, are you sure..." she didn't know what to say. Tom had confessed about his dreams and Julian, and how it was the young dream doctor that came up for the cure of the virus. He also informed her that today was the first time they ever...ever made any form of contact that seemed real, such as the dreams were, while he wasn't asleep.

Tuvok walked in to see Janeway staring at Tom, lost for words. "Captain," he said. He stood next to her.

"You find anything?" she asked.

"I have not detected any outside influences, however, I did do a personnel search and found something of interest," he replied as he handed her a PADD.

Tom looked up to see if he could catch what was on the PADD that Tuvok had handed the Captain who was looking at it and raised her brow much like Tuvok. Then she looked up toward Tom, "What?" he asked in concern.

"Well, it could be either a coincidence or your subconscious remembering names of the past," she said dryly. "But there was, at least, a Doctor Julian Bashir assigned as Chief Medical Officer of DS9, that fits the description you gave us, from what we can tell. You know our Starfleet personnel records or old," she said.

Tom wasn't sure how to take that bit of new. //Could Julian be real? No...how? // "So, your saying that I must have read that information somehow and just processed it to my brain?" he asked, wondering if that was the case. Though he was still more concerned that they would do something to stop the dreams. Though he wasn't to crazy about the incident in the bar, he rather take all the shit anyone would give him, even the Captain, then loss that special bond with Julian...real or imaginary.

"Doctor," Janeway stated so the EMH knew he could come back in the room. She waited silently, "What do you recommend?" she asked. "His...all too real dream diversion could be...a serious problem if it happened on the bridge, I can't have that."

"I can give Mr. Paris a neuro suppressant that most likely be affective, however, I would recommend that Mr. Paris sleep here a few more nights so I can observe this state of dreaming he has been mentioning before I can draw any further conclusion," the Doctor said flatly. "For according to Mr. Paris, he has not had any connection...dream, where he meats this...Julian in the last two days."

"No," Tom said, the fear of losing Julian to a...a shot of medicine was all too real, he knew he couldn't let it happen, that's why he was silent in the first place.

Janeway looked at Tom in disbelief. Here Tom was informed that either an alien that they can't detect or some sort of brain aversion may be influencing him and her Chief pilot was denying treatment? "Tom?"

"No, no ... neuro anything," he replied with conviction. "Look, I don't know what happened a few days ago, but it's not something that's ever happen before. Julian was in trouble..." he let his voice trail, hearing how he sounded and the look on the Captain's face. //Of course they think you crazy. Perhaps you are...but nothing has made you so happy as Julian...not even flying! No! I can't let them take him away. // "I know how it sounds, but can it be all that bad?" he asked, changing tactics.

Janeway and Tuvok did a mimic of each other as they raised their brow in question of what Tom was saying. The Captain spoke, "Tom? You're being affected..."

Tom cut her off, "Perhaps yes, perhaps no," he said smoothly. "But you have to admit my bridge performance is way up, you said so your self," he continued. "You asked me once what was making me so happy, but at the same time why I was turning in early and getting up late, well...now you know. I'm sure I can control..."

This time Janeway cut of Tom. She was stunned at first at seeing the young man verbally battle to keep his condition. "Tom, this situation is unacceptable. You either submit to the Doctor's treatment or...or I'll have no choice but to temporarily suspend you from duty till medically fit for it," she said. She didn't like it, but...as she said, this was unacceptable.

Tom saw how serious the Captain was and he knew he had to make a choice. Julian or flying? //Shit this is unfair! // He thought. He thought about it and looked the Captain in the eye, "I'm sorry," he said softly. "Betaheart's a good pilot," he replied as he laid back on the biobed and stared at the ceiling.

The three, including the EMH were stunned by Tom's decision. "Very well," she said as calmly as she could and moved with Tuvok and the Doctor toward the exit. She turned to the Doctor and Tuvok, "find out what's going on," she ordered. "I want you to get to the bottom of this and I want my Chief pilot back, understand?" she stated, for it wasn't a question. Then she left to inform Mr. Betaheart of his new duties...for a while.

***************

He was stunned. Everything that Tom had told him about the accident, prison and more was coming up true as he continued to access the life of Tom Paris. Julian shivered as another fact was discovered. //Tom's...real? // He thought, not sure of his feelings. A mixture of ecstatic revelation and fear of what could have made such a thing possible, but he had to know more so continued his research. After another hour of work, Julian knew that he couldn't have made any of this up, it was all real, and from what Tom himself had shared, he knew the truths and the lies that were in the computer's data banks. "Tom's real! Oh my word, he's real and that means...Voyager's...still out there...alive in the Delta quadrant!" he said amazed to himself. "But do I tell them? How do I explain? Better yet, how do I prove it?" Julian asked himself as he laid back on his bed in the quarters assigned to him on the Enterprise. "What if I can't prove it? Then they'll make me take a mental exam...and what if they find something? Or nothing?" Julian sat up in his bed filled with fear; "What if they try to do something that would take Tom away from me?" his breath was short in coming as he tried to calm himself to the fear of losing the man he loved. "No, I won't lose Tom!" he said with conviction. "I'll see what I can do for Voyager and the others, but I won't lose Tom, this I swear," he said to himself as he lay back down and the exhaustion and lack of sleep finally overtook him.

************

Standing outside the cottage, Julian looked at the place that was their home. What started out to be just an empty building with a bed for making love, had developed into a vibrant living area. It was filled with stuff of their making, since in the dream they had to go and buy all the other furnishings. It was like all the bear basics were provided in this world to get them started, but the rest they had get, earn...take the time to create together. Over the last six to seven months Tom and Julian had done all that, they made their home real and a part of who they both were.

Julian approached his and Tom's home and opened the solid oak door and took in the sight of the small garden that now was in bloom that he and Tom had planted, and smiled. //This place is so real and yet not...but Tom 'is' real, // he thought with some nervousness. //Why are you upset, Tom knows everything about you and still loves you? // He asked himself. //But I was just a dream to him then, // came his reply as he walked in looking for his love. He walked around the house and called out for Tom and didn't get an answer.

Then he moved to the back yard and saw his love sitting on the chair swing, staring at the small creek that flowed through their back yard. He moved out there silently as he walked up to Tom and could see he was very distressed. "Tom?" he said softly as he sat down next to his lover. "Tom, are you all right?"

Tom looked at Julian and smiled, though he didn't hide the fact that apart of him was hurting. "Now that you're here, I'll be fine," he said as he shifted and curled up into his love's arms.

Julian held Tom tightly, "What's wrong, love?" he asked quietly.

"They found out," he replied, his head still on Julian's shoulder. "They found out about this...I..." he sat up and looked at Julian, his eyes searching and not sure what he was looking for. "I was on the holodeck when...when I heard...saw you were in trouble," he said, unsure how to approach the subject.

Julian having spent so much time with Tom could read him like a child's book. He gave a loving smile, "You saved me, Tom, and the Defiant and Bajor...it..." should he tell him, "It really happened, Tom" he said finally.

Tom wasn't sure hot to take this. //is this my mind trying to justify my actions? // He thought as he continued to look at Julian.

Julian could see the thoughts dancing through Tom's mind. "I know we both tease the other about being the dream lover, but...it turns out we're both real, Tom. I...I only discovered this when...when I met your father this afternoon," Julian said, still uncomfortable about this aspect of the situation.

"Julian...I..." he took a deep breath. "The Captain told me that I only saw your name some time in the personnel files and made the rest up? I...I know you feel so..." Tom felt his body shiver.

"Tom, I am real. I do exist, and now I know you do too. I know that you really are alive and stuck out in the Delta quadrant, but I don't know how to prove it," he replied with some concern.

"Prove it?"

"Well, I'm not about to go and tell people that their loved one's are alive and stuck out in the Delta quadrant if I can't prove it, they may...they may try to take you away," he finally said softly. "I love you, Tom I...I couldn't bear losing you," he said as tears of tired frustration filled his eye and he hugged Tom with a strong desperation. "I won't lose you!"

Tom hugged Julian back with the same desperation, "I don't know if you are as real as you feel or if I am crazy, but I won't lose you either!" he said with conviction. "Even if it means that I never fly again."

Julian eased back from his embrace, but not braking it, "They won't let you fly?"

"Because they think..." Tom saw the pain in Julian's eyes. "It's not your fault, babe," he said softly. "They gave me a choice, a neuro suppressant and fly or you, so...don't be upset that I chose you, okay?" he said trying to give his most charming smile to ease his love's sorrow.

"Oh, Tom," he sighed. "I'm sorry this happened, but I can't be sorry too much. If it wasn't for you I and thousands of others would have died, you did save us. I only wish I could prove to you that I am real, for I proved to myself that you were."

Tom looked at his love, the truth of his beliefs were strong in his eyes, "How?"

"After I met your father I researched everything there was on Tom Paris," Julian's eyes grew dark from anger, but not at Tom. "It was unbelievable at some of the lies they had in there," he snarled, then took a deep breath to ease his anger.

"You didn't believe any of it?" Tom asked quietly.

Julian looked at Tom in surprise, "Why? All we've shared has been the truth, why would I believe their lies after knowing the real you?"

Tom's eyes lit up, he had shared all there was and if Julian was real, he was the first person to know it all...and still love him. "I...I just wasn't sure," he stuttered, a smile reaching his face as well. "No one has ever...and still you love me?"

Julian kissed Tom tenderly. "Do you still love me? What I told you is true too, I'm a..."

"Very loving, compassionate, sexy, smart man, Julian Bashir, and don't you forget that, for I don't love anyone but the best," Tom teased, but with a strong conviction behind it. Seeing the light in Julian's face brought his own heart such joy that he had to kiss his love again. Then holding him tight, "Then, let us take this as some strange blessing, for I'm real and now...I feel you are too," he said in a whisper.

The two men held each other in silence, more than content to just be with the other. It was Tom that broke the long silence. "You met my father?" he asked unsure if he wanted to know this.

"Yes, Tom I did. He's...changed from what you described of him. I...I saw pain, anguish and sorrow and regret when he talked about you."

Tom looked at Julian surprised; "He talked about me?"

Julian smiled, "Yes, he told me that he hadn't seen such miraculous fly since his son, and he was beaming with pride, Tom. Real pride."

Tom took a moment and studied Julian's face, and then let out a deep breath, "Really?" he replied unsure but hopeful.

"Really, Tom," Julian smiled. "It was him that inspired me to find out all about you," he grinned. Then he got serious, "I was afraid at first, knowing that you were real...and wondering how...but then I was more afraid of losing you that I don't really care how this is all possible. I'm just glad I'm not in love with myself," Julian joked.

Tom laughed too, "You know, I had those same thoughts, but I couldn't truly convince myself that I was that smart," he teased. Then he took a cleansing breath. "I do love you, Julian. I'm not sure how things are going to work out, but...we'll work it out okay?"

Julian thought for a few moments as he relaxed in Tom's arms and just let the large chair swing sway back and forth. "Perhaps, if you could tell me something...nice, that only you and your father would know...perhaps," Julian said softly.

"You really want and try and prove this?" Tom asked with concern.

"If I can, than Starfleet and others would know your out here, they might be able to help you," Julian insisted.

Tom looked at the creek that was bubbling by, "The Alpha quadrant is really at war, isn't it?" he asked knowing the answer already.

"Yes."

"Then they have enough to deal with..." Tom stated.

"But think about all the other's who would at lest know that their friends

and family are alive," Julian asked. "I...only thought,"

Tom smiled lovingly at the young doctor at his side, "Of others, as always. You truly are an amazing man, Julian." Tom let himself be lost for a few moments in his love's eyes. "Okay, I'll help you as best I can," he promised. Then Tom hugged the man he knew was real, the one that some how, he'd share the rest of his life with and felt the fires of love and passion burn with in him.

***************

Julian was sitting in his infirmary, wishing like hell he kept his big mouth shout, for he was not sitting here as CMO but a patient, for it didn't seem to matter all the information he provided from Tom, Owen Paris was not buying it and neither was anyone else. Though he was glad he kept the part about him and Tom being lovers to himself, they still were running scans to see if he was...nuts or being influenced in some way.

Julian had been livid when Owen Paris came to him with sympathy stating that the near accident must have been too much for him. //So much for, "If anyone gives you crap about your enhancements I'll be there," shit! // Julian was thinking. They had poked, and probed as much as he would allow them. They found exactly what Tom stated their EMH had found nothing more. They too offered a suppressant and Julian declined it, just like he declined a mind meld...he just felt it would be too much of an invasion of his and Tom's personal affair. Tom had turned it down for the same reason. //Why can't they just believe me? I've provided information that only those on Voyager could know and still.... Shit! // He was scared, for they tended to forget his sensitive senses, and he overheard the words...clinic. //They better NOT try and send me there. This has nothing to do with my genetic conditioning! // He fumed.

They had even monitored him while he slept and that proved that his brain did indeed have very high activities levels that could be caused through some kind of link, but still no one was giving him the benefit of the doubt...mostly because Admiral Paris wouldn't let them. //Tom was right, the man really is a total ass! // He growled to himself. He sat there and contemplated his options. He wouldn't take the suppressant, that would mean losing Tom, unacceptable and he couldn't just say it all went a way...they would monitor him, and no matter what they may have wanted, the draw between him and Tom was too strong, they couldn't stay parted even if they wanted too, so long as they both were asleep. Tom had offered to become an insomniac, but the EMH on his side gave him sedatives and it turned out it didn't matter if it was normal or induced sleep, they would meet.

Though meeting wasn't all bad, they could love and support each other through this harsh time, they were more inclined to argue a bit, for they were always trying to protect the other one till they realized that neither of them were going to let the other one be the scapegoat. There was a brief discussion of ending it by taking the suppressants, but they were both praying that would be last result, for they knew their love was very real and had become the very core of their existence.

"Were running out of options," Julian said this night, after being forced into another sleep, after being informed that if he didn't start cooperating he would go to the clinic.

"Damn! I knew my father could be a real ass, but Starfleet?" Tom hugged his love tightly. They sat on the sofa they had purchased with the savings they seemed to have. The more they both were in this 'dream world' the more real it seemed. They would have to buy food from savings, and deal with people like regular folks. It started to resemble another universe, where he and Julian were provided the opportunity to meet and then given the basics and now it was up to them to keep things up or let them fall apart, just like a real life. Tom and Julian thought it strange when they both got mail, some junk and a few job offers. "I'm starting to wish this 'was' the real world, for the one out there sucks!" he growled his anger at seeing Julian's distress. Then he looked at his love and decided, "Take the suppressant, what ever it takes, Julian. You can't let them take your life away," Tom said seriously.

Julian bolted up and looked at Tom, "But you are my life!" he replied with conviction.

"As you are mine, Julian. But face it. If you don't do what they want they'll...they'll take everything else away from you too. If they do that, you'll lose your rights and then they'll make you take the stuff and you'll not only lose me, but everything else," Tom pleaded. "I love you, I want to be with you in the worst way...but, I can't let them do this to you."

"I won't do it!" Julian exclaimed in frustrated anger. "I won't let them win!"

Tom looked defeated, he didn't know how else to protect his love. "Then I will," he said softly.

"No," Julian cried, the hot tears falling freely down his face.

"Love, what choice do we really have? It's not like we can stay here?" Tom replied, his heart breaking.

Julian was silent for a moment. When he looked up his eyes was full of desperation, "Why not?"

Tom looked at him in surprise; "We only exist here so long as were asleep...."

"Unconscious," Julian finished. "I've read the files even if I'm not suppose too.

"But..." Tom said but Julian's fingers stayed his words.

"We'd have to give up our bodies, and I don't know how much time we'd have...weeks, months, a year maybe...but I could do it, and so could you?" He said in a hushed tone. "I'd rather spend one more day with you than a life time without you," he whispered with conviction.

Before Tom could answer, Julian was being taken from him, obviously they were waking him up. He sat there alone in their home and thought about what Julian was proposing, then he too was taken to the world of the awake.

****************

All hell broke loose on Voyager as they were attacked by some alien or another. All Tom could do was force his presence on the EMH that he was still capable of helping, for the infirmary was receiving heavy casualties. Twenty minutes into the attack one of them was the Captain her self. Tom worked side by side with the EMH and some of the lesser trained medics and got everyone as settled and stable as possible till the Doc could take care of them.

By late afternoon, Janeway was stable and resting, still not strong enough to pull her usual stunt and make her way out of sickbay. She watched silently from a far all the people that was coming and going and after pangs of regret and anger, she slept. This time when she awoke it was to the sound of pain, anguish. She shifted her head and realized it was Tom and the sick bay looked very dark. She couldn't do much other than watch...

Tom and the others were doing their jobs and after the a battle, things started to slow down, but then two hours later there was an explosion that rocked the ship. By the feeling of it, it was internal. The lights and all the power in sickbay went out. Then after a few minutes the back up power kicked in but not the EMH. Tom called for assistance in this matter and didn't get a reply. Then to his horror, the sound of the transporter hit his ears and a very badly wounded Harry now lay before him. He did what he could, but the internal injuries were far too extensive, and though the equipment was up, the Doc was not.

"Tom to Engineering. The EMH is still down! Harry needs surgery!" he shouted over his com badge.

B'Elanna's haggard voice responded, "Tom, that part of the computer was hit bad, but I'll do what I can. Just keep him alive...please" she said before cutting the transmission.

Tom knew that Harry and B'Elanna were now lovers and her pain was clear, but as he looked down at his best friend, he was struck with out options. He checked Harry's condition, it was too weak for stasis, and he didn't possess enough skill to do anything more. His eyes filled with tears and he cried, "Harry, you have to hold on! Please," he begged as Harry's life signs started to fail. He placed a basic stimulator on his best friend's heart and lungs to keep them going, but he couldn't fix the damage. He closed his eyes in grief, "Julian, I need you!" he shouted to himself. "Oh please...please, hear me," He begged.

Janeway looked at Tom's plea and wish like hell she could do more than watch, then she saw the young pilot straighten up as relief filled his face. She watched as Tom had a one sided conversation and was following instructions to some unheard of voice. She watched him use equipment he couldn't use a few minutes ago, and was preparing Harry for surgery, though he was very nervous.

She watched Tom perform very skillful surgery, the basics to keep Harry alive, and then patch him back up, and all the time talking and thanking his love...Julian. Janeway didn't need to be a doctor to know that Tom wasn't capable of doing what she had witnessed without help...it was the first time she believed that Tom really was talking to someone named Julian who was a doctor. When all was said and done and Harry was stable, she realized she had watched the entire thing and it was very draining for her as she slipped back into her own dream world.

***************

Tom stormed into the house with excitement. He called out and found Julian in the kitchen, apparently cooking was very relaxing for him, and he was whipping up one of Ben Sisko's New Orleans gumbo. "They believe me!" he shouted as he ran around the corner in the kitchen and into his love's arms.

"Whoa...what?" Julian asked surprised, he had been cooking for he had been forced here for hours and hours.

"They finally believe me," He cried. "Apparently the Captain was awake during the situation with Harry the other day and she and the Doc knew I couldn't have made that up. She's willing to believe me and work with me...us!" Tom said in a burst of happiness.

"That's wonderful, Tom" Julian smiled; though it didn't reach his eyes.

Tom then took a moment and realized that though things on his side was going to work out, that didn't seem to matter far as Julian was concerned. "I'm sorry," Tom offered.

Julian gave a low chuckle, "For what?" he asked. "It's not your fault. I was the one that insisted that I could convince them...your father. I was wrong," he said matter of fact as he turned to add some more spice into the concoction he was making.

Tom moved up behind Julian and wrapped his arms around him, "Love?"

Julian turned his head, the pain and sorrow strong in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tom. I want to be happy for you, but..." He looked away. "They gave me three days. Either submit or be committed,' he said quietly.

"Oh, love," Tom whispered as he rested his head on Julian's shoulders. The pain of defeat in his tone as surly as it was in Julian's eyes. Then he had an idea, "I can ask the Captain, perhaps she..."

Julian turned around and looked at Tom, "It wouldn't matter, Tom. They don't want me to be right on this...I know that now."

"But why?"

Julian's eyes misted with tears of frustration, anger, and sorrow. "You won't like it," he said quietly.

"My father," Tom said dryly.

"Yes, but there is more. With the information you gave me and the events of Caldik prime you told me about, something didn't fit so I looked into it. That was my real mistake. Tom...you didn't file that false report...you couldn't have. You had been in surgery for over three hours when the report was filed. I found out it was..."

"My Father!?" Tom stated in anger and disbelief. The look in Julian's face was more than enough to see that it was true. "My own Father?"

"I'm sorry, Tom. But it looks like, no matter how he may feel about things now, he doesn't want you to be real or anyone knowing the truth...it would ruin his career."

"So the bastard is going to ruin your life instead!" Tom growled. "It wasn't enough that he used and abused me...but..."

Julian caressed Tom's lips, "That isn't the problem now, is it? I have three days...I want to know what you have decided?" He asked, caressing his love's soft skin, looking into the bluest eyes he may never see again.

Tom steeled himself. "I...need time," he said softly.

"You have three days, love. Either way, know that I will 'always' love you," Julian said and placed a soft kiss on his lover's lips. Then trying to change the mood he took a cleansing breath, "Like gumbo?" he smiled.

****************

Jack and the others stared at the unconscious form of their friend, the one who set Sarina free, and now a prisoner himself. "They said he did it to himself, wouldn't play ball anymore," he stated coolly, though inside he was hurting. Julian had been one who had 'made it'. To see him here like this was the most crushing thing he and the others had experienced.

"I heard he did it for love," the luscious women of the group purred, wishing for the thousandth time that she could get through the barrier and just 'touch' the golden body.

"I don't see how being like that is going to benefit anyone or anything, much less love," Jack retorted and then moved away to wonder the pains of the universe that only he could understand.

"How indeed?" she questioned softly staring at the still form of the once renowned Julian Bashir.

**********

Janeway was staring out her window, the stars didn't bring her any comfort this time, only pain. All she saw was the brilliant vibrant face of her Chief Pilot, as his eyes would light up while dancing Voyager through the cosmic stardust ballroom. Then it was quickly replaced with his still form. Self-induced coma, is what the EMH had said, and there was apparently nothing they could do. If he didn't want to come out of it, he wouldn't, the Doc had told her, and she felt the pain of wishing to the heavens that she had believed him sooner.

Tom left a note explaining that he couldn't let Julian be alone and told of all the horrors the other young man was suffering on the other side. She didn't want to believe that a man she had revered could do such a thing, much less believe that Tom... But Tom was in love and Julian was faced with being committed, so according to Tom, chose to stay in the world where they could be together for however long it was possible. He asked her not to be angry with him, but either way he would be gone from Voyager. It was only a matter of if he'd cross over with or with out Julian. //The act of two stars crossed lovers, // Janeway mused as more tears fell down her face. The memory of placing her young pilot into stasis with little to no hope was overwhelming. But Tuvok did tell her after a desperate mind meld, "where ever his mind is, he is extremely happy," he had said, but he couldn't reach Tom directly. There was nothing else they could do.

But at this moment, six months later, what made it the most painful was that Seven had gotten an array to work and they did contact Starfleet only to find Doctor Julian Bashir was real and in the same condition. Those of his friends were furious and were going to lynch, figuratively speaking, Admiral Paris. But it didn't matter, no one could reach the two men, where ever they were, their bodies were in stasis, and they were gone.

"I pray nothing but the best for you both, for you both deserve it" she whispered and let the tears of loss flow.

[The End? Let me know]