JS: “You bet you… we’re not keeping an Evil Points list this time (at least not in MY rewrite, hahaha) but I’d have to say that Carnage is off the charts so far in this one. Though I’ve got to give me props to Dr. A for trying to throw him off the side and stab him to death.”
JR: “Props?”
JS: “Sorry, I’m from the Hood.”
JR: “No you aren’t.”
JS: “Err… uhhh… ummm…Hey! Look at the match!”
Carnage: DAMN! My bat cracked open oh his head! That’s no fun.”
He tosses the piece of the bat that he had left in his hand to the side.
JR: “Carnage is looking for a new object to do some evil with. Can he find one?”
As Carnage turns around and ponders what to use next, the doc lifts up a section of grating from the collapses cage tops, and tosses it at Carnage, scratching him in the back.
JS: “Uh oh, that only hit Carnage a little, I bet he wanted more impact than that.”
JR: “Yep, it just made Carnage more angry, he’s turning around.”
Carnage takes a few steps forward and stands over Dr. A, his shadow engulfs him (not literally, because shadows don’t eat things).
Carnage: “Well, lookie here. Tried to come back? But I’m so evil that it bounced off me. You know what I’ve decided? I’m so evil that I will not even use an object on you now. I am so evil that I will CRUSH YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS. Oh yeah… enjoy.”
Carnage reaches down to grab a hold of Dr. A, The doc’s arm swings out from behind his back, it holds onto something that he had fallen on… The Medical Kit.
WHAMMM-O!
JR: “The Doc from DC just clobbered Carnage in the head with The Med Kit. Carnage seems to be out of it… again!”
Dr. A lifts himself up slowly, still holding onto the Medical Kit. He spits some blood over Carnage, and then starts whacking him in the head with the Medical Kit over and over.
JS: “Oh my… the irony of it all! Dr. A is beating up Carnage with a medical kit!”
JR: “Yes, quite Ironic indeed.”
JS: “No, no. I don’t think you get it at all JR. First off, Medical kits are used to HELP people, not harm them!”
JR: “I understand, yes…”
JS: “No! No! I’m not done yet. Then… secondly, Dr. A is a doctor, who is supposed to help people get better, meaning him bludgeoning somebody to death with a Medical Kit is twice as Iron…”
JR: “I SAID I GET IT!!!!”
JS: “Oh… sorry.”
JR: “The Maniacal Medic continues to blast Carnage in the head with the med kit, it looks like its made of hard plastic… at any rate- Carnage’s head is busted open now.”
JS: “Yeah, and the Medical Kit is busted open too!”
The Med Kit crashes in to the head another time and cracks open, bandages, alcohol wipes, scissors, a cold pack, aspirins, burn cream, and those thin powdered gloves fly out into the ring.
Dr. A: “Whew! Evil gets me bombed, I need a rest.”
JR: “Oh… look at that, how demeaning. Dr. Abortion is sitting on top of Carnage and grabbing at the ground. What is he doing now?”
JS: “It looks like he’s picking up one of those antiseptic pads. Sure he’s evil… but he doesn’t want his wounds to get infected, now does he JR?”
JR: “I suppose not.”
As the doc cockily (and you’ll find the word choice amusing in a few seconds) sits atop of Carnage, Carny moves his hands… Ms. C tires to warn him, but a ringing in his ears blocks it out.
Carnage quickly and violently grabs the near-by screwdriver and jabs it at Dr. A’s ‘nuts.’
Dr. A: “IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!”
JS: “AGH! I didn’t just see what I though I saw? Did I JR?”
JR: “Yes… that’s what we both saw… I never wanted to see something like that happen to a man in my life, no matter how much of an A-hole he is.”
JS: “Whew! I’m feeling uncomfortable just watching. I’m going to protect my boys from now on. Well, Carnage can look on the bright side. Even if Dr. A does end his career- he ends Dr. A’s sexual life right there.”
JR: “That was horrible, horrible fans. Its not clear right now, and I don’t want it to be, but it looks like Carnage committed the first step into castrating Dr. Abortion.”
JS: “Now THAT, my friends, is EVIL.”
Dr. Abortion hold his crotch area again as Carnage lifts himself up in celebratory arms!
Carnage: “WHO DA MAN?! WHO DA MAN!? Me! I’m the man! And who’s the man with a screwdriver in his genitals!? Dr. A! YEAH!”
Carnage walks over to the cage entrance, assured that his career will survive for many more years possibly. He has the match won.
JR: “Now what’s that outside the ring? Look out! Its Ms. C!!”
Ms. Contraceptive grabs onto the referee and holds him back, she blocks him from the lever to open the gate up.
Ref: “Hey! Get off.”
“What’s wrong? Don’t like girls, huh? I want you. I want you.”
Ref: “Huh?”
The ref turns around and has a smile on his face, forgetting about Carnage trying to get out. Ms. C begins to lift up her already short dress.
Ms. C: “You know you want some of this, huh?”
Ref: “Oh yeah.”
As the skirt lifts it reveals the top of her stockings, which has a Hypodermic Needle slipped into it.
Ms. C: “Oh my… what’s this?!”
She quickly grabs the Needle and Jams it into the Ref’s neck.
1…2…3… The ref drops to the ground asleep.
JR: “Damn! There goes the interference by Ms. Contraceptive! Its Dr. Abortion’s Thorazine formula! That Thorazine took the ref right out of the picture.”
Carnage has a pissed look on his face, as he is locked in the cage with no way out.
He walks back over to Dr. Abortion and starts kicking him while he’s down. He turns around and looks at Ms. C. He knows there’s no way she’ll let him out, even if he continued to beat the hell out of Dr. A.
JR: “Ms. C is in control, they’re trapped in there… wait, Carnage is looking up, will he try it?”
JS: “Yeah, I think he wants to climb the cage! And get out that way!”
Carnage grabs onto the cage, and starts to pull himself up. Dr. A is still lying from his very personal injury.
Carnage: “When I get out of here I am so going to beat you up, woman!”
JS: “Ahh, women beating… another evil act.”
JR: “He’s too high up for Ms. C to do anything now, its just a matter of time unless Carnage loses grip of the cage.
Ms. C: “Wake up! Wake up Doc, HURRY!”