After about a bajillion years, the Dr. Abortion Flash Archives have finally been once again updated. Instead of going thematic like I previously had, I’ll just simplify things by going in reverse chronological order. That way in the future I can just add newer videos to the top. Much easier!

Now, here are some quick links to find (1) My newest Wrassle videos with buttons and such, (2)Wrassle vids that autoplay, (3)CSlam vids that autoplay, (4)The Ancient Vids, without audio streaming , (5)Supplementary video sites, and (6)Other flash sites.

Strike a Pose
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 335KB. March 2006.
Audio: “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship; streamed.
Commentary: Strike a Pose was a tag team of mannequins created by Osiris a long time ago in the CWO, and that I’ve occasionally brought back to annoy the AoD. When I did it in 2006, I decided that they needed a video too. For some reason. I’m guessing boredom. I can’t remember everything about them, so I just retconned their names and backstory (if they ever even had a backstory in the first place). The music is the god-awful soundtrack to the film “Mannequin,” and the images are of Autons from Doctor Who.

EJ/VJ
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 350x200. 580KB. April 2005.
Audio: “Back in Black” by AC/DC; streamed.
Commentary: The only flash video I’ve ever accepted “payment” for, as Jefe agreed to pay for my extreme membership for the video. Pfft. I would have probably made it for free anyway. Don’t tell him that though. Anyway... it’s kind of cool. Jefe and Jack are pretty important figured in UCE history, and it was time to put them in a new video since it had been a while since the D7.

Homeless J & Nakedman
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 1.35MB. March 2005.
Audio: “Down in a Hole” by Alice in Chains (at double speed); streamed.
Commentary: Pretty simple video. Obviously based on the Charon vid. I have no idea how the hell it is 1.35meg since it basically has no animation in it whatsoever. The humor is supposed to come from the fact that Alvin & the Chipmunks would never cover an Alice in Chains song. I guess. And yes, HoJay’s picture is of Elvis saying “Mmmm Fresh Cocaine.”

The System is Dead
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 366KB. January 2005.
Audio: “The Death of Optimus Prime” by Vince DiCola; streamed.
Commentary: So after the SoD died (because everyone in the AoD went inactive), the System was restored to its original self. As Nakedman was the only AoDer left active, he just stayed with the rest of the System folk. But most of the System guys formed a clique where they only RPed with each other, which became highly annoying and caused me to swerve them. Afterwards, Nakedman claimed they were all dead, and refused to even sell their existence.

5TH Year Anniversary
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 565KB. October 2004.
Audio: “The Cult of Personality” by Living Colour; streamed.
Commentary: Five years of life wasted in CSlam/Wrassle seemed like an important milestone to note, so I celebrated by fifth anniversary on October 19, 2004. In this event, I brought my 10 notable characters back and merged them into 5 gestalt characters for a while. Eventually they all came un-done, except for Orion Pax, who was stuck inside of Nakedman. Seeing as how “that” Nakedman was killed in 2006 and replaced with a version of Nakedman from 2001, we can only assume that Orion Pax is dead forever.

The System of Darkness
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 1.32MB. July 2004.
Audio: “Get Over It” by OK Go; streamed.
Commentary: At the 2004 Wrasslepalooza event, the premier comedy stables of Wrassle history – the Army of Darkness and The System, joined together to create a monopoly on comedy that was “The System of Darkness” (SOD). Great comic-style video to go with it, just look at the improvement in drawing from the Nakedman comic strip. The music ended up going fantastically well with the video, and you may recognize it from the awesome Madden 2003 soundtrack.

Pocket Field Guide to Encountering Dr. Abortion
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 550x400. 110KB. June 2004 (updated November 2005).
Audio: None
Commentary: This doesn’t per-se count as a Doctor Abortion flash video, just a handy little guide to explain the new Dr. Abortion character to people. It’s pretty much a self-congratulatory work based on Dr. A’s delusions of grandeur. When I brought the retooled Dr. A back a second time I made a few tweaks to the guide, but it’s still essentially the same as it was when I first made it. Evidence of 2004-ness are a joke about Regan dying, Xpress Bet (a place where Diggzy Brown, Stormfire and Holy Evil worked), and my feeling that the Tiger was robbed against the Rhino in the UCE Hypothetical Animal Fight. Some could also claim evidence of 1997-ness with a Michael Hutchence joke… but come on, autoerotic asphyxiation jokes are ALWAYS topical.

Doctor Abortion (Retooled)
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 379KB. May 2004.
Audio: “Last Caress” cover by Metallica; streamed.
Commentary: So, after a long absence Dr. Abortion finally came back – with a new video and a new face. In May of 2004 I made a decision to completely retool the Dr. A character and bring him back. Gone were the valets and steroid addiction. The retooled version didn’t keep my interest very long because he actually wasn’t that far off from the original. But I took a second stab at him in late 2005 and retooled him further to be batshit insane, and I think I’ve finally found a way to make him interesting to me again. Like it or not, this newer Dr. Abortion is the way he is now, and he’s not going back. Whenever I run him again, this will be the version I run. In the video I like how I turn a coat hanger into “Dr.” It’s cute.

AoD Election
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 58.5KB. March 2004.
Audio: None
Commentary: So, this was an election angle that went along with the “AoD: Cool” angle, methinks. And what was more topical in 2004 than a 4-year-old joke about Florida voting miscounts? *groans* Also note, for some reason I referred to Tom Brokaw as “Dick Brokaw” because I decided to give the reporters fake but recognizable pseudonyms, but then just decided to name Tim Russert “Tim Russert” because I forgot that I was doing that half-way into the video. I am borderline retarded. It just makes it look like I just fucked up Tom Brokaw’s name.

Tony Gooch: Mustard Mystery
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 923KB. February 2004.
Audio: Various sound clips; streamed and not streamed.
Commentary: This is a mystery game. Pay attention, follow the directions and it should make sense. No need to explain a lot here, because as a text-based flash product, much of the explaining is done in the game itself. I vaguely recall that the setup for the game is stolen from some sort of stick figure mystery game on the net somewhere.

Nakedman… with Knife
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 307KB. February 2004.
Audio: “Underneath Your Clothes” by Shakira; streamed.
Commentary: It was time for Nakedman to have a new video, especially to go along with his bitchin’ new knife. He does have a knife now, you know? I sent this video around to a few people on the Wrassle staff before I posted it, because I wanted to make sure the content was okay… I mean I do have Paris Hilton being fucked in the ass in the video. Apparently, no one was offended by that, but they asked me to remove one caption that was hiding Nakedman’s penis which read “Icehawg.” It was changed to “Penis.” Go figure. Remember that lesson, kiddies – post as much ass sex as you want in Wrassle.

Gothic Warriors: Voyage to Philly
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 389KB. January 2004.
Audio: Something lifted from the Evil Dead Video Game; streamed.
Commentary: This is something I threw together when bored one after noon. The Gothic Warriors were in New York and needed to get to Philadelphia for an RP event. I made a quick video to go along with it. The joke is that there is an ancient town called Philadelphia in the Holy Land and I showed them go to that one, but I guess no one got it and its not funny. Click on the entrance to the brothel when it comes up. That my friend, is what is called an Easter egg. Leah Remini used to be hot before she got all fat.

Man Stable
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 860KB. January 2004.
Audio: “Welcome to the Show” by ICP; streamed.
Commentary: The hardest thing about making this video was actually having to listed to horrible, horrible ICP music to do it. But I knew that the video wouldn’t be right without it. If we’re supposed to pretend to be homo ICP lovers, then we gotta use a homo ICP song. The song “Welcome to the Show” was chosen because the fed we were in was… well… SHOW. The Man Stable was a stable of guys whose names all ended in “man” and essentially did everything in their power to piss off regional fed people and get suspended. This angle was Aujam’s last hurrah.

Escape from Guantanamo Bay
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 80.1KB. December 2003.
Audio: Various sound clips (birds, waves, etc.)
Commentary: I honestly can’t remember much of the story around this one. Going back and reading the 2003 UCE Year in Review helped me a little. President Bush and Colin Powell declared the AoD as enemies of America and decided to institute “regime change.” This video was made when the AoD was locked up in Guantanamo Bay. I think that’s supposed to be perpetual AoD NPC Baneful Bob attempting to escape the island by swimming away, and instead being eaten by a shark. This was thrown together really quick using clip art. I have no idea what is up with the woman in the hat, she was likely in the clip art for the beach and I was too lazy to take her out.

Sheepinator for HOF
Commentary: November 2003. This is the “Sheepinator for Hall of Fame” sub-site, and contains 3 more flash videos for Sheepinator. Maybe one day I’ll just get rid of the subsite and move them onto this page, but for now the link is just as good.

Johnny Marlowe
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 454KB. October 2003.
Audio: “Tinh Phu Sax Solo”; streamed.
Commentary: Visually, a very impressive video I think. The seriousness, speed and black & white give it a touch that makes it unlike most of my videos. It is totally devoid of flashing objects; but do keep an eye out for hidden messages, which I almost always have. This list of videos is technically in reverse chronological order, but I flipped this one and the second Marlowe video to have them in order, because I assume you’re reading down instead of up. Watch video 1 before video 2, please.

Johnny Marlowe 2: Mystery Solved
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 626KB. November 2003.
Audio: “Tinh Phu Sax Solo”, “Dare to Be Stupid” by Weird Al; streamed.
Commentary: The sequel to the previous Marlowe vid. Starts off in the same style, but slowly gives you more hints towards his unmasking. If you’re scrolling up to watch these, watch the one above this one first.

Macho Recruitment Video
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x250. 280KB. May 2003.
Audio: “La Cucaracha” Instrumental; not streamed.
Commentary: A quickly made video. In the CWA, Nakedman led an effort to recruit Super Macho into the AoD, mostly as a joke based on previous hostility between the two on the Wrassle Forums. It’s not streamed so that I could just make 4 seconds of animation and loop it to the music. Note that the Disco Ball and Flashing lights are lifted from Jeb’s Evolver video. Uh… wait… did I say that? I meant to say my Toaster video. Yeah.

Arsenic (New)
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x200. 827KB. April 2003.
Audio: “Wicked Garden” by Soundgarden; streamed.
Commentary: I like to call Arsenic’s second video “The Arsenic Factory.” The flash features an industrial conveyor belt assembling Arsenics. Also, the television with the changing channels creates a new visual effect for me, though this video somehow isn’t as satisfying as the original Arsenic vid.

Mystery of the Ghost (BRB)
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 400x300. 579KB. February 2003.
Audio: Something Spooky lifted from an Evil Dead Video Game, “Blitzkreig Bop” by the Ramones; streamed.
Commentary: I lost the Bar Room Brawl, and a lot of people were not impressed with my revelation to end the “ghost” story arc. I, personally, thought it was brilliant: the man pretending to be an undead spook was, in fact, my undead spook character. People don’t get it because they are dumb, while I am a genius. This is Charon video #2. In the same rewrite there was also a crappy little faux Star Wars text scrolling video that I’ll put here.

Barroom Brawl Flash Cartoon
Info: Button-Press, 500x350. 1.58MB. February 2003.
Audio: None.
Commentary: Here is the famous cartoon rewrite. It’s not quite a flash movie in the way the videos on this page are… but it was made with Flash, so close enough! In a way, a sequel to Nakedman’s Action Figure rewrite in that it is a Nakedman rewrite done in an alternate form of media.

Orion Pax
Info: Button-Press Preloader, 300x150. 291KB. October 2002.
Audio: “We Care A Lot” by Faith No More; streamed.
Commentary: This video was made for an angle on the 3rd anniversary of my joining Cyberslam. I masked all my characters as different versions of my original character, Orion Pax. Nakedman turned into a crazy(er) version of Pax. Jailbait was evil Pax. Charon was good Pax. There was an Orion Pax video before this, but it’s gone. I finally figured out buttons for this one.

Charon
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 481KB.
Audio: “Blitzkrieg Bop” by the Ramones; streamed.
Commentary: Greek Mythological characters rule. So do Skeleton characters. Put them together and you have GOLD! It is streamed, but sometimes the mouth falls out of track with the singing anyway. If this happens, right click the video and stop it- then start it up again. Should be fine. Maybe.

Stormfire (3)
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 946KB. July 2002.
Audio: “If I Only Had A Brain” by MC 900 Foot Jesus; streamed.
Commentary: The second flash video I made for Stormy, and is based on a concept for a video I never made of Killall traveling around the world. I was going to make it in early 2001, around the time I did the Whitelight ressurectuion video. That non-video would have used this concept with the music that I ended up using for the Yolkster one below. Instead, this video essentially follows the ‘adventures of Stormfire’ where he hops around and does things. Ba ba-wa ba-wa wa-wa-wa. Wa. Ba-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa wa-wa.

Evil v. Evil
Info: No Preloader, 300x200. 78.9KB. July 2002.
Audio: Orchestral Version of “Classical Gas”, perhaps John Williams?; streamed.
Commentary: Not too much to say for this one, I threw it up so that I at least had some video for the Evil vs. Evil Match against Proto. It’s small size is probably the reason that for the first time in two years I lazily made a video without a preloader. I think it may infinitely loop too. Ugh, I deserved to lose for that. Check out Proto’s site for the lowdown on EvE. You’ll find a link on the main page.

Team Non-Extreme
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 300x200. 304KB. April 2002.
Audio: The Soviet National Anthem; streamed.
Commentary: The fact that people actually still regularly name their stable "Team [E]xtreme" is very annoying, and worthy of mocking. This quaint little stable was a group of “Non-Extreme” Wrassle Members (the term “Hardcore” was deemed racist and oppressive) who fought the powers of Extreme Membership. Joined with Von as the leader, I believe I was simply trying to get Arsenic suspended or deleted by breaking as many OOC policies as possible. Oh, that quickly happened. And yes, in case you scrolled over the link, Soda Machines can be fascists.

AoD Literati
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 350x350. 1.02MB. March 2002.
Audio: “Fat Lip” by Sum 41, streamed.
Commentary: Do you remember what was over as clover in early 2002? That’s right – Literati! This was pretty tedious to do with all those stupid tiles I had to spell out names with one by one. Still, I thought the end result was impressive. One of my favorite videos, with an apology to the many victims of the AoD in its first years. For each of the AoD members, I tried to add elements that would complement their character. I knew absolutely nothing about Edwin, so I just made crap up and his stuff ended up being the funniest. Get that right click to pause ready.

Arsenuts
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 300x200. 146KB. February 2002.
Audio: Me “singing” into a microphone, music swiped from video game “The Journeyman Project;” streamed.
Commentary: Yeah, yeah, yeah. My tag team with Wingnut. He wrote the lyrics in what was clearly intended to be a written jingle that never was to advance beyond text on a computer screen. But it did, in the post-Mr. Spite video [by Stomfire] rush to create simple little movies with crappy singing. My loyalty to Wingnut’s original written lyrics is why it says “yeah, yeah, yeah” after “No we’re not Arsenic and Wingnut” instead of “no, no, no” as they do in all other verses when they say they’re not something. It’s a insignificant consistency error, but I noticed it when making the video and later some smartass pointed it out to me.

Roe & Wade (Wrassle)
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 276KB. January 2002.
Audio: “Bring the Noise” (Rock-Rap Fusion) by Public Enemy and Anthrax.
Commentary: Technically better than the first Roe & Wade video, and with a better version of the song. I wish I could use Anthrax’s “Starting Up A Posse” in a Flash Video but I’d have to bleep the whole thing out… so this is my Anthrax compromise. The video was done ostensibly for a rewrite match with Barrister, who also was running a plotline where he had two midget friends. The video was pretty much made on my old “if I make a flash movie maybe the judges will ignore my poor writing” strategy.

D7: The Seven Deadly Sins
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 300x200. 869KB. December 2001.
Audio: “My Sin” by Nine Inch Nails; streamed.
Commentary: This angle started by Violent Jack in the UCE which was refreshing for me because it was the first “serious” angle I had been in a long time. Okay, myself and Wingnut really only took the angle quasi-seriously when compared to the rest of the group, but for me that’s like insanely serious. I got to work with a group of UCE talent (not Kronik, he sucked) that I usually didn’t run with. We all took the forms of the various seven deadly sins. The best part of the stable, though, was that Battlestone was fired from it in order for me to join. Sweet. I’ve seen this gimmick run at least twice by others since we ran it, mostly in just masturbatory worship of the Bradd Pitt movie “Seven,” which I refuse to spell with the numeral 7 in the middle.

Chevalier’s Defeat
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 350x200. 802KB. December 2001.
Audio: The French National Anthem, streamed.
Commentary: Like the video directly below, this accompanies a December Dedication Title Match against Chevalier. An alternate form of this video (really just a “We Surrender” French joke) was made for Prototype, who asked for me to remove the stuff about Chevy and just have it be about France being pussies.

Dedication Title Rematch: Dr. A v Chevy.
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 300x200. 400KB. December 2001.
Audio: The Theme from “Glory” by James Horner; streamed.
Commentary: Chevalier bitch no-showed his defense of the SHOW’s Dedication Rewrite Title against me. This is a habit common to Chevy. He then mouthed off that I could have never beaten him if he had actually done his rewrite. The chance to prove him wrong came next month when I swept the floor with him again, and this time he showed. This video was a promo for the rematch, and I like the stuff with the black and white faces and the reflections of each other in their eyes. In hindsight, the accompanying rewrite is pretty boring and dry, indicating a period when I described wrestling moves instead of doing anything interesting (this led to my downfall in the BRB soon after). Still, it was better than Chevy’s so imagine how much that must have sucked.

Doctor Abortion (Wrassle)
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 1.31MB. October 2001.
Audio: “Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi, with a heart-monitor intro; streamed.
Commentary: The Updated Version of Dr. A, for Wrassle. Probably the laziest preloader screen I ever did. It comes in behind the first Arsenic video as being a huge file. The size is a result of the consecutive screen captures to create “moving” video. I thought it was great at the time, but looking back I am not a fan of the flash movies that use video in them. This video represented Dr. A’s return from death and a period I usually think of as his golden age in the SHOW when he was really the best he ever was. The character would slowly fall out of favor with me as being anything I’d ever run again, and I’d completely retool him in 2004 and moreso in late 2005.

Virus
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 300x200. 555KB. October 2001.
Audio: Some Song by Some Angry Band I Don’t Care About; streamed.
Commentary: I made this video at a point-in-time when I was bored and willing to make videos for people who requested them, notably AoDers. I made this video for some AoD type (I have no idea who Virus was, can’t remember) and I also made a video for “Navajo Warrior” (that video got lost, maybe thankfully). Both of them were pretty inactive and making videos for them ended up being a waste of time, so I quickly abandoned doing them for people. All I know about Virus was that he was playing up on the Anthrax scare that was going on in the US at the time. The only redeeming part of the video for me was the zooming in and out parts – a concept I wanted to play with for a while. In one of the zoom-out shots my neighborhood is viewable... thank-ye, oh Google Maps!

Toaster
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x150. 323KB. September 2001 (That’s right... Toaster and 9/11 are like brothers).
Audio: “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison; streamed.
Commentary: Toaster toasts bread. Unfortunately, the darkness button was broken and could only make toast that was burnt (not the CEO of Wrassle) or blackened (like SPX). If you need explaining as to what Cyberslam video this is a takeoff of, you don’t deserve to watch it.

Arsenic (Original)
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 300x200. 1.43MB. August 2001.
Audio: “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N’ Roses; streamed.
Commentary: The first Arsenic video. In factoids most people don’t know, Arsenic actually had a normal face the first day I ran him, then I decided to put him behind a mask and introduced Old Lace. This was done so I could do an eventual “shocking” unmasking as Dr. Abortion and Ms. Contraceptive. But my secret identity held for about 3 days. I guess I’m just too obvious. This video was created in that short time period when I thought I could successfully hide who I was. Because of this, the Old Lace in the video uses quick shots of Stephanie McMahon (who I used for Ms. C), never showing her whole face. After I abandoned the whole idea and decided to let Arsenic stand alone as a unique character, I swapped Old Lace’s face and she never appeared as McMahon again. When I did “unmask” Arsenic in 2005 to begin to reveal his secret history, I actually used the same face that I used that first day before I masked Arsenic. Oh, and at 1.43 megs, this video is way too big.

Benny Blair
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 842KB. April 2001.
Audio: “Bulls on Parade” by Rage Against the Machine; streamed.
Commentary: Since it’s creation, this has always been my favorite video. I don’t know quite why. Since I’ve made this I’ve done many videos that are technically superior and great looking, but this one still just has some charm for me. I’m not even a fan of Rage Against the Machine either. I think the random letters and images flashing was snazzy looking, and it has some comedic elements that made it enjoyable. This video also revolutionized the “secret messages in Nakedman videos” phenomenon. I actually need to go back and try to count all the things I hid in it – it’s a bunch. The trend was semi-started with the things that flew by quickly in the Whitelight Returns video and the AoD Pop video... but this took it all to a new level.

Battle of the Century
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 225KB. April 2001.
Audio: “Summer Song” by Joe Satriani; streamed.
Commentary: After Cyberslam shut down, I decided to create a new character for Wrassle who wouldn’t be identified with my old ones. Alvarado, a slave-owning Spanish Conquistador, was my chosen guise. Some people figured out who I was immediately, while others knew it had to be someone, but weren’t sure exactly who. Apparently, someone accused the then-already-retired Vulcan Raven of being Alvarado, and just for the hell of it he agreed and said he was. The misdirection continued as I too went along with it, and unmasked as VR. This video marks a match I had with Yolkster right after the “unmasking.” Yolkster and I were NOT feuding to any great degree and the match was a regular midcard event with no titles on the line. The point of the match being called the “Battle of the Century” (and likewise the point of there being a video for the match) is just a joke since the match was completely forgettable and unimpressive. Yes, there was a time that I used to make flash videos for events that didn’t require flash videos as a joke- but that doesn’t mean I’m making you one.

El Encuerado
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 500x250. 664KB. February 2001.
Audio: “La Bamba” by Ritchie Valens; not streamed.
Commentary: It was always nice to have your work appreciated with a flash promotion in CSlam. But when Nakedman was promoted from the CWO to the CWFe in 2000, I really missed the fed. The solution was that I take over the Count Justice character who was then in the CWO. At first I was uncomfortable with the character, and created “El Encuerado” as CJ’s NPC so that I could make posts without Count Justice in them. The name, if the internet is to believed, translates to “the naked man.” And the joke, if you’re retarded, is that Nakedman came back and tried to hide his identity by putting on a luchadore mask, even though he was still naked. I’m sure the explanation for why he had to hide his identity was based on Nakedman being under CWFe contract or something. Somehow, El Encuerado also was given the name “Scuzzy McGee” by Stormfire, a character which evolved into Nakedman’s twin brother who has never been seen at the same time as Nakedman. In the end, El Encuerado became useless because Count Justice was so much more interesting and awesome.

AoD: We’ve Got Pop
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 829KB. January 2001.
Audio: “Jump Around” by House of Pain, Holy Evil’s voice; streamed.
Commentary: Ah, the We’ve Got Pop Video. A Classic! A parody of those stupid TNN “We’ve got Pop” commercials (Prior to Spike TV). Weren’t they the most annoying things in the world? The video concept was all Stormfire’s idea and was completely brilliant and hilarious, especially when the joke was topical. In case you don’t remember, TNN was the Nashville Network and was trying to change its image to be “The National Network” to have massive “pop” appeal. Obviously the Pop we used was a different sort of pop. Holy Evil was supposed to make the video at first (he made many of the images in it) then backed out. That is Holy’s Voice doing the “We’ve Got Pop” line because I don’t own a microphone. I think I borrowed Holy’s for my voice in the Arsenuts video. Another fact you don’t care about: quickly in this video there is a “Pop-Tarts without a toaster” joke that flashes by, which is based on a you-had-to-be-there awkward/hilarious moment in the dorm Freshman year of College with Holy. It won’t sound funny if I explained it (hence you-had-to-be-there), but I determined later that it must have subconsciously been in my mind when I created “Toaster” the character. Final tidbit: the music was originally going to be “Insane in the Membrane” by Cyprus Hill, but I couldn’t find a radio-clean copy to use. The replacement music worked out well, and probably better than the planned music would have.

Whitelight’s Return
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 960KB. January 2001.
Audio: “William Tell Overture, Part II: Morning in Nature,” “O Fortuna” - Orff, “The White Boy is Back” by Everlast, “The Ballad of Naked Man” by the Butthole Surfers; streamed.
Commentary: Being dead is boring, So Whitelight rose from the grave!!! Dead Whitey came back to reform the undefeated Tag Team of Illuminant Darkness, but this time with my other guise, Nakedman, in the form of Illuminating Nakedness. The video also marks the opening days of the year 2000 BobbyBob’s Allstars reunification in the CWFe with Whitey, Naked, Canadian Kid, Killall and Lt. Pain, maggot. Watch for the Highflyer moves list, Bingo and everything else in it.
Additional Note: The pre-loader on this video has always been wonky, and doesn’t work sometimes.

Whitelight’s Funeral
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 450x350. 493KB. December 2000.
Audio: Bells, Various Lifted Sound Clips, The Funeral March, “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC, “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison; “Highway to Hell” is streamed, everything else is not.
Commentary: Whitelight died in the CWFe. As originality is my greatest trait, I decided to make a stunning, bold new visual statement with an inventive, totally new concept – the Funeral Video. I’m pretty sure it had never been done before, and was never done since.

Living Dead Girl
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 393KB. November 2000, modified April 2001.
Audio: “Living Dead Girl” by Rob Zombie; streamed.
Commentary: This was my first ever streamed video, done so after a remark by Evolver about my videos sucking because I didn’t know how to stream music. So I learned how. Yes, it took me 7 months to figure it out. Retarded? You bet. Just wait to see how many years it takes me to figure out buttons. This video is nearly the same as the LDG & Nakedman video below, made after LDG asked for a solo video. The two were made at about the same time and this was an updated version so she could have a video of her own, although the first version of the video is not streamed. I re-touched this video up months later in Wrassle for the CWA/Wrassle, and figured the changes weren’t important enough for a new video, so I just uploaded the April 01 version over the November 2000 version, probably since there is already the version with Nakedman so there was no need for 3 versions of the same video.

Stormfire
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 325KB. November 2000.
Audio: “Dare to Be Stupid” by Weird Al; not streamed.
Commentary: This is actually Stormy’s second video, but it’s the first one that I made for him (the first-first is at Holyevil’s site). After a while a man just needs to update his video. The transformation from Stormy to Captain Stormbeard was one of the first times I did the effect -- I also played with it with the LDG-Nakedman video that I did the name month, that’s one below. I’d do it every now and then in future videos, notably in the Marlowe to Stormy morph. All and all, this video is Stormy-tastic!

LDG & Naked: AoD CWFe
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 400x300. 270KB. November 2000.
Audio: “Living Dead Girl” by Rob Zombie; not streamed.
Commentary: The original version of what would become the LDG video above. We formed as a team because we were the two AoDers who made it to the CWFe. Other than that a Naked guy and Lesbian don’t have much interest in each other. No music streaming, but it does have a shot of Nakedman’s face morphing from happy to mad for the angry, bitter Nakedman gimmick that annoyed many. But mostly Honus Jackson.

Tricky & Stormfire: A CWO Dilemma
Info: No Preloader, 500x250. 511KB. October 2000.
Audio: “Dare to Be Stupid” by Weird Al; not streamed
Commentary: Stormfire, the CWO’s resident zany fool, returned on the scene with an evil master plan: get a bunch of slammers to sign a petition firing long-time announcer “Tricky” Dic. Oh, and the petition also made himself, Stormy, the new CWO color-commentator. Stormy lied to every slammer in the fed about what the petition was – promising everyone something different. Did the plan work? Your bet your tush it did! This video explored Tricky’s new job options. Almost prophetically, the man I used to portray Tricky, Jerry Lawler, got himself taken off WWF broadcasting not that much longer. Meh, Paul Heyman was better anyway. Again, watch out for the non-streamedness of the video.

FJLF: The Plan to Kill the Knights
Info: No Preloader, 300X200. 46.6KB. October 2000.
Audio: None.
Commentary: Setting: CWFe, October 2000. Fleshbasher was forced into retirement. His son, Fleshie Junior, was being held by the Knights. So Canadian Kid formed the Fleshie Junior Liberation Front (FJLF) to save the little tike from the Knights. CK blamed all that had gone wrong in the world on the Knights, and rightfully so. CK was joined by Nakedman, who came up with a devious plan to take out the Knights once and for all. Little did Naked know just how much the plan would be to CK’s liking. The plan: Candaian Kid (over), Chokehold (dead) Stache (green HHH), and Naked storm into the Knight Locker Room with guns to take out Remy and any other unlucky soul. My favorite joke in the video is that Stache and Chokey go to the bathroom in the middle of it, though I’m not sure if that’s clear to other people from looking at the “blueprint.” I’m biased by two years of Engineering Foundations classes where I drew building blueprints and loved using the toilet stencil. (This links straight to a .swf file, not a html page)

Gervase
Info: Automatic-Play Preloader, 500x250. 232KB. October 2000.
Audio: The Theme to “Survivor,” not streamed.
Commentary: Okay, in my defense - in the Summer of 2000, Survivor was popular and topical. Nakedman decided that the laziest contestant from the show, who did nothing but sit around and play cards, would make a good valet. Yet instead of actually doing his valet duties, Gervase just sat around and played cards. This totally surprised Nakedman, who is very dumb. If you have no fond memories of that magical summer of Y2K, or if you can’t stand these damn old infinite loop videos that I used to make, please just skip this one.

Cardboard Fan Whodunit
Info: No Preloader, 500x250. 305KB. September 2000.
Audio: “You Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer; not streamed.
Commentary: The Setting: CWO. For months, AoD Faction Leader Psychomantis noticed something was up with CWO fans… they were a bit stiff (like RVD). Then the revelation came that no one actually liked the CWO, and it had no fans. Unable to sell tickets, the CWO filled the audience with cardboard cutouts. Commissioner Maddness (who spells his name wrong) decided to take care of the situation… but a week later, the Cardboard Fans mysteriously came back! Who was behind it? This video notes the suspicious suspects, including the announcing staff, referees, parking lot attendant, and an annoying but doable pop star. Engaging in the infamous, but all too common, Cyberslam commish sin of getting involved in plotlines, Maddness decided to take over the AoD angle and made it so that one of his boys, Acid Ed, was behind the plot that he was never involved in and which didn’t remotely fit his character. Kind of like the insensible Rikishi running over Stone Cold plot resolution. Speaking of which, a reference to that Stone Cold injury angle is made in the video Yet I incorrectly state that he got hit by a limo when it was a truck or regular car or something, I dunno. It was so long ago. Even if you don’t care about the video, listen to it for the Hammer.

Nakedman
Info: No Preloader, 500x250. 169KB. April 2000.
Audio: “The Ballad of Naked Man” by Butthole Surfers; not streamed.
Commentary: Caution: Watching this video for too long may make your penis explode from excitement! Another old one from 2000 without the fancy razzle dazzle and with an annoying infinite loop. But then again, when it’s a naked man you want it to go on forever, don’t you? Notice from this and the two videos below that April 2000 was the first month I had Flash.

Roe & Wade (CSlam)
Info: No Preloader, 440x250. 371KB. April 2000.
Audio: “Bring the Noise” by Public Enemy; not streamed.
Commentary: A really old video for a gimmick where Dr. Abortion’s two midget valets joined the Nation of Islam and formed a tag team. They don’t even really look like midgets, do they? Anyway… the best thing about this video is my generous classification of R&W’s fellow Nation of Islam members. You’ll see what I mean if you watch it. Roe & Wade got yet another video later, God knows why. Really bad photoshopping in this. And in case anybody wanted to know, the faces used were just some guys who I went to high school with.

Doctor Abortion (CSlam)
Info: No Preloader, 550x250. 287KB. April 2000.
Audio: “Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi; not streamed.
Commentary: Dr. Abortion: I think this guy may dislike babies or something. My oldest surviving video. I made an Orion Pax one before it, but it was “lost” a long time ago. Look how primitive it is compared to, say, the latter Johnny Marlowe videos. No preloader, no audio streaming, no buttons and an infinite loop repetition. I’ve come a long way.

OLD FLASH PAGE INTRO Forever and ever this page had this video on it. It was time to put it aside, but I’m too sentimental to just trash it for good.