Ms. Contraceptive jumps up to
the Ring Apron.
Tony: NO! Damn, no! Ms. Contraceptive is distracting the
referee! The referee needs to count! Chevalier has got a lateral press on Dr.
Abortion! The Mailed Fist of the Just is sure to have taken Dr. A out!
Harry: You know, with the recent Anthrax dilemma and all, perhaps
a ‘mailed’ fist of the just is not wise. Maybe he should try an emailed fist of
the just, or maybe just a phone call fist of the just. I know I’m not
opening any of my mail.
Tony: This is not a time for jokes! This is serious! Dr. A is
about to screw Chevalier out of the Dedication Title and banish the French
Embassy.
Harry: So? Nobody likes the Embassy. Nobody cares about the
embassy. I’m just waiting for that Ambassador guy to cheat and help Dr. A.
Tony: Its not going to happen! And wait… Chevalier releases the
pin… he’s getting up to tell the referee to watch the match and not the lady. A
damn good idea, if you ask me.
Chevy taps the ref’s back… as
the Ref turns around to talk to Chevalier, Ms. C quickly bends down and slides
a syringe to Dr. Abortion. The ref turns to see Ms. C standing up again. She
smiles. He tells her to get down, but she keeps standing.
Ref: Look, if you don’t get off the apron now, I will be forced
to disqualify-
Ms. C sees Dr. A palm the
syringe.
Ms. C: No problem, I’m gone.
She jumps down from the apron.
The ref turns to watch the match.
Tony: And Chevalier picks Dr. A up… I can’t believe that neither
Chevalier or the referee notice the object! Dr. A has a hypodermic needle right
there under his sleeve.
Harry: Its easy for you to notice. You were watching when it was
slipped to him. They didn’t see that.
Tony: Chevalier gets the best of the doc though, if the ref sees
that needle, the doc is out… Chevalier with a hammerlock on Dr. Abortion…
The ref suddenly loses all
bipedal walking ability. He goes falling to the mat, almost as if someone had
pulled on his legs. It couldn’t have been Ms. C though, seeing as how she is
quickly running away and going to the other side of the ring.
Tony: NO! Ms. C just tripped the referee up!
Harry: I don’t know what you’re talking about. She clearly is on
the other side of the ring.
Tony: Yeah, because she just ran there.
Harry: You know these refs have trouble standing up. It’s a
common problem. Ever since we became an equal opportunity employer we’ve had to
get those retarded referees.
As the ref is down, Dr.
Abortion slips out the needle. Cheavlier sees it. He grabs Dr. A’s wrist and
tries to prevent Dr. A from stabbing him. He shakes the wrist, the needle
falls. But it falls straight down, right onto Chevalier’s foot. The needle
penetrates through Chevy’s boots.
Chevalier: *huff* Nice try Dr. A, but you’re not getting that stuff
into a vein in my neck.
Dr. A: *gasp*… well… Chevy… actually… *gasp*… I don’t have to.
Taa-taa, Pierre.
Dr. A grabs the needle and
yanks it out of Chevy’s boot. He throws it out of the ring just as the ref
pulls his senses together.
Chevalier: What are you trying to imp- *THUD*
Chevy falls straight down to
the mat and the doctor puts his foot on his chest. The ref is confused.
Tony: NO!!! NO!!! It couldn’t have! It just pricked his boot…
its Dr. A’s patented Thorazine Tranquilizer Formula!
Harry: You say it couldn’t have – but look – it did! Chevalier is
sleeping like a baby, bye-bye French Embassy!
Tony: And look at the Doc’s cover! Its one foot! He’s posing…
showboating! Damn him… the ref looks like he doesn’t want to call it…
He reluctantly gives in…
1-2-3.
The bell rings.
Tony: Dr. Abortion… he just won the Dedication Championship!
I can’t believe it! This is horrible.
Harry: No its not. This is great. No more French wussies in the
hallways, yammering on about politics and trade relations. Dr. Abortion has
saved this federation from one of the most worthless, inane plotlines of all
time.
Tony: And now the doc is kicking Chevalier while he’s down!
That’s just not right! Ms. Contraceptive… she’s coming in the ring to
congratulate her honey…
Harry: No! She’s bringing him a microphone!
Dr. Abortion takes the mic and
begins to speak.