Ms. Contraceptive jumps up to the Ring Apron.

 

Ms. C: *Pssst* Referee… hey, what's your name? Come here. You are sooo cute.

 

Ref: Huh?

 

The ref goes over.

 

Tony: What the? Doesn’t the ref realize that Chevalier is pinning Dr. Abortion?! This match is over! Chevalier has it won!

 

Harry: You can’t resist feminine wiles Tony, unless of course you are asexual, like Atropos.

 

Tony: Well she’s talking to him… I don’t know what we- WHITELIGHT! ITS WHITELIGHT!

 

Whitelight, or actually, “Not Whitelight” jumps over the barricade, rushing in from within the audience… He slides into the ring.

 

Tony: Chevalier released the pin… He’s… No! Midriff kick by Whitey! I can’t believe this… here it comes… THE ILLUMINATOR!!!

 

Whitey delivers the Illuminator, the doc is still out of it though. Whitey rolls Dr. Abortion on top of Chevalier and slides out.

 

Harry: What I want to know is how a man over 200 hundred pounds just got in the ring, delivered a move which made the ring shake – yet the ref is unable to feel this and turn around.

 

Ms. C: Well, it was nice talking to you cutie, say… is the doc pinning Chevalier there?

 

Ms. Contraceptive jumps down from the apron, the ref turns around and counts… 1… 2…

 

Tony: It’s all over! It’s all over and this match is- WAIT! Chevalier got a shoulder up! I can’t believe it!

 

Outside the ring, Whitelight’s mouth hangs open. Ms. C’s eyes bulge.

 

Tony: Chevalier is not defeated… he will not go down quite so easil-

 

Dr. Abortion sticks one of his arms in the air, towards the ref’s face. He makes a symbol with his index finger and thumb. Like a measurement. You know how you make a symbol for someone having a small unit… by holding your thumb and index finger close to each other while your other fingers are down, yeah. It’s that symbol. Only it doesn’t mean anything here. Its just a distraction to make the ref look at something else.

 

Meanwhile, the doc kicks Chevy, square in skull.

 

Tony: Oh God, no! How did the ref not see that?! Dr. Abortion goes down and lifts Chevalier’s legs… He’s going for the Trimester Termination.

 

Dr. A hooks up his modified elevated crab. Chevalier doesn’t tap… but he doesn’t move either.

 

Harry: The kick to the head must have done it!

 

Tony: The ref lifts the arm once… twice… thrice! Its over! He is calling for the bell! Chevalier has just lost. The French Embassy is gone! Its all over. Dr. Abortion is the Dedication Champion, thanks to Whitelight and Ms. Contraceptive!

 

Harry: Man, I could have sworn that that French guy would do something. Sheesh… he was just useless. Eh, what do you expect from a character Chevalier brings out with him.

 

Tony: It wasn’t just a Team Abortion strategy… it was a I3TA plot. Whitelight in the production trailer, Whitelight in the ring – Whitelight all along. We should have seen it coming. It was too obvious.

 

Dr. A releases his move and stands up; Whitelight slides a microphone into the ring. The Doc grabs it… but not before giving Chevs one last kick.

 

Dr. Abortion takes the mic and begins to speak.

 

Epilogue.

 

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