Another one bites the dust on
the cliffs of Peru
Dr. A’s clunky old Peruvian
car makes it down a steep, narrow dirt road along side of a giant mountaintop,
inches away from death.
Ms. C: “Will someone
shut that narrator up? He is starting to scare me.”
Dr. A: “Don’t worry
about it. Roe knows how to drive. We are home free. All we need is to get down
the mountain, then we catch the airport back to America, turn in the will and
you will be granted Wade’s fortune.”
Roe: “I don’t know… I
have this odd feeling that we won’t make it back alive. Or at least not some of
us.”
Ms. C: “Don’t say
that. Your scaring me. Dr. A, hug me!”
Dr. A: “Yeeeeeeesss,
m’am!”
Dr. A and Ms. C huddle up in
the back seat, Roe drives. Suddenly, a car pulls up from behind. It is going faster
than any car should on this road.
Roe: “AGH! Look out-
there’s some kind of maniac driver behind us!!”
*BAM*BAM*
Roe: “He’s shooting
at us! He’s shooting at us!”
Dr. A: “Speed up!
Loose them!”
Ms. C: “Who would
want to kill us?!?!”
Roe: “I don’t know,
but from the looks of the rear-view mirror it looks a lot like Mr. Kastronis,
Wade’s executor.”
Dr. A: “Damn. We
should have paid more attention. He gets all of the money if we don’t.”
Ms. C: “You morons!
You can’t do anything right. Don’t you even pay attention to your own posts?!
Roe: “No, personally
I can’t stand to read anything that Dr. Abortion writes.”
Suddenly a gunshot ricochets
of the left-side back door, opening it up just as the car hits a curve. The
door slings wide open, and Ms. C is pushed by the curve… almost falling out.
Dr. A: “I’ve got you!
I’ve got you Ms. Contraceptive! I won’t let anything happen to you… I love you!
Just don’t look down.”
Ms. C looks down, and notices
what is under her… NOTHING. The car is at the very edge of the road. If she
drops then she falls off the side of the cliff.
Ms. C: “Don’t tell me
fall- that is an ORDER!!!”
Roe: “What’s going on
back there?!”
Dr. A: “Hold on Ms. C…
I’ve got you and… HEY, look… a $2 Bill is on the floor. Cool, I never see
those.”
Dr. A lets go of Ms. C to
pick up the 2 Dollar Bill. Then suddenly…
Dr. A: “DOH!”
Ms. C:
“AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh………..”
Roe: “Um, I’m too
busy watching the road. What just happened.”
Dr. A: “Err… uhh… I
think Ms. C just fell off the cliff.”
Roe: “WHAT?!?!”
Dr. A: “Look man, I’m
too doped up on smack right now to even be sad…. Wait, I shouldn’t have said
that.”
Roe: “Ms. C JUST FELL
OFF A CLIFF?!?! She’s DEAD doc… she’s DEAD!”
Dr. A: “No way man, I
saw this Wiley Coyote Cartoon where…”
He is cut off as another
gunshot rings out from Mr. Kastronis, the murderous executor of the will.
In the other car…
Kastronis: “One down,
two more to go. Hehehehe, I will get that money all to myself and… HEY!”
Suddenly a Llama walks out
from the mountain above and right into the middle of the road.
Kastronis: “Get out
of the way you stupid…”
CRASH!!!!
Kastronis thumps right into
the thing, breaking his windshield and stopping the car to a halt, just barely
missing the cliff. The engine dies and Kastronis gets out, watching Dr. A’s…
hehe… ‘Ford Taurus’ slowly escape him.
Kastronis: “Agh! I’ll
get you next time, Gadget… NEXT TIME!!!!!”
Wait… that’s not Kastronis…
its Dr. Claw.
Kastronis: “I’ll get
you next time Abortion and Roe! Next time!!”
In loving Memory of Ms. Contraceptive.
