Wade is DEAD
Dr. A and Roe sit teary-eyed in their
room. Yesterday, their good friend and buddy, Stanton Wade was assassinated, seemingly
by the Nation of Islam.
(if you don’t know what I’m talking about,
how about you… read my damn rewrite, huh?!?!)
Dr. A: *sniff* “We should have
paid more attention to him! I was too busy being evil to notice that he was
really in trouble.”
Roe: “Yeah… damn that Nation of
Islam… DAMN THEM! I bet SPX ordered this.”
Dr. A: “Please… now is no time to
bring the blame upon anyone. This is a time of mourning and sadness… now excuse
me, I’ve got to go shoot up.”
The doc whips out a syringe and heads to
the back of the room and opens his medicine cabinet.
As the doc rumbles around in the back,
the door is knocked on. Teary-eyed Roe goes to check it out.
Roe: “Who are you?” *Sniff*
Man: “I am Mr. John Kastronis,
the executor of Stanton Wade’s estate.”
Roe: “He had an estate?”
Kastronis: “Yes, a small one. His
family is quite rich.”
Roe: “Rich?! No way… we’re from
DC, everyone is poor in DC, well, except for those dicks in North West. Screw
Georgetown.”
Kastronis: “Well, he had a rich
parent down South.”
Dr. A rushes over, feeling and acting a
bit different.
Dr. A: “SCREW WADE! That dead
fool… did he leave me anything?”
Kastronis: “No.”
Dr. A: “How do you know he didn’t
leave me anything- you don’t even know my name.”
Kastronis: “I know because he
left all his positions to just one man, his good friend Jermain Roe.”
Roe: “ME?!?!?!”
Dr. A: “Why you little 4 foot
tall…”
Kastronis: “There is one simple
task though. You must take his body to his family plot to be buried.”
Dr. A: “Oh… that is NO problem. We
are in the money. Where did you say his family plot was?”
Kastronis: “Down South… but a
little further South then you would expect. His father is Peruvian Drug Czar
Juan Aléman Wadé.”
Roe: “He was half Latin?! I never
knew.”
Kastronis: “No, no, no. Wade was
just part of the ‘drug lord father - adopt a son’ program.”
Dr. A: “So we have to fly to
Peru?”
Mr. T: “I ain’t getting in to
plane, foo’!”
Kastronis: “Um, yes. Everything
you need to know is in this suitcase here. Good Luck fellows, I must be going…
I have a lot of dead people waiting. I’m the executor for all those dead people
in ‘The Sixth Sense’ too.”
Dr. A: “Wait- what happens if we
are unable to complete our duties or if Roe cannot get the money.”
Kastronis: “Oh, why, that’s
simple. I, the executor of the will, get all of the money… MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
*ahem* Excuse me.”
He walks out of the room.
Roe: “Well, back them bags Doctor
A. We are going to Peru.”
In Memoriam
Stanton J. Wade
