Copyright 2000, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

"Captain’s log Start date 54523.5. We are a month into our transwarp journey. So far, we have experienced no problems with the transwarp coil. At this rate, we will be home in less than two months.

"The crew is focused on maintaining the ship, and I find myself in the position of having to order time off. The excitement of the crew is palpable.

"Special commendations are noted for Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres-Paris and Seven of Nine. They have worked tirelessly to ensure that the transwarp coil functions properly and that Voyager’s systems are constantly monitored. One of the two of them is on duty at all times. 

"Tomorrow, we pause in our journey for an extensive check on Voyager’s systems. Captain Kahkar Omarahn and his crew will provide us with assistance in this check. We will also take advantage of the opportunity to send a message to Starfleet to apprise them of our situation – and our good fortune.

"End log."

She hit the button on the computer, then opened another file.

"Kathryn Janeway, personal log. It seems impossible to believe that we have made as much progress as we have. Each day brings us closer and closer to home. 

"I am concerned for B’Elanna and Seven. Both are tired from their long duty shifts, but neither is willing take any time off. Seven is bringing Kathryn B’Elanna into part of her work shifts, and the Doctor has taken to checking on B’Elanna in engineering. I am planning on extending our down time to give the two of them a couple of days to rest.

"I am particularly concerned about B’Elanna. She is still struggling through her pregnancy, but is refusing to allow it to slow her down. The Doctor has assured me the baby is in good shape, but I cannot help but be concerned about the baby’s mother.

"Seven seems to be growing more comfortable with herself again. Everyone on the senior staff has gone out of his way to let her know the knowledge of her genetic connection with the Borg has made no difference. It appears that their acceptance of Seven and Kathryn B’Elanna has helped Seven accept her situation.

"I am growing more and more anxious to get home. It is difficult to believe that this long journey home might finally be days away. I am ready. 

"End log."

She reviewed her log entry and, satisfied, turned off her computer and went to bed.

The Doctor was waiting on her when she finally walked in.

"I wasn’t sure you were going to come home tonight."

She pushed some strands of stray hair behind her ear and smiled at him, "I was beginning to believe I was not going to be able to leave work."

"Is anything wrong?"

"No, everything is functioning. We just had a phase variance we could not correct. It finally corrected itself." She crossed the room, taking her hair down as she did, "B’Elanna and I decided we would check it more carefully when we stop tomorrow."

"What time is that scheduled?"

"At ten hundred hours." She turned her head toward Kathryn B’Elanna’s bedroom, "She is asleep." Her voice was questioning.

"Yes. She has been asleep for quite a while. She tried to stay up to see if you would come home, but she was just too tired." He walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "That is from her." He gave her a smile, "It is your goodnight kiss."

She put her hand to the place he had kissed her, "I am going to take a sonic shower." She turned and walked into their bedroom.

He picked up the PADD he had been studying and stretched out on the sofa again. He knew she would return to sit down with her own PADD at the table for a while before going to bed. It had been like that for the last month. She had thrown herself into the effort to get to Earth. After everything they had learned, he understood her desire to get Voyager to the Alpha Quadrant. He just wanted his family out of the Delta Quadrant. 

Also, he was excited about the prospect of their new life together. He could not wait to introduce his wife and his child to Dr. Zimmerman. He keyed in a command and saw the picture of the two of them from his visit when Dr. Zimmerman had been so sick. It was a picture he was proud of. He had sent one of his family pictures in the last data stream, and Dr. Zimmerman had responded he had been pleased to receive it. 

Life was going to be good.

Seven entered into the living room, her hair down and dressed in her gown. She walked over to the replicator and ordered a hot tea. He watched as she took it to the table, starting to read a PADD before she sat down. She was so engrossed in her work, she did not even notice he was watching her.

But he was watching her. Ever since their adventure in the holodeck, he had experienced…different feelings for her. He had loved her for a long time, and he knew his love for her was real. But things had been different since they had walked through the journey of her life on Voyager in the holodeck. He felt things about her and for her in ways he did not think possible. 

What he felt was almost a physical presence. He experienced feelings for her more like he could feel in the special place that Kathryn B’Elanna took them. He did not understand what was happening to him, but he knew what he was feeling at this moment. He got up from the couch and walked to her, reaching down to take the PADD out of her hand, turned it off and put it down on the table.

She looked up at him in surprise, "I was studying that."

"I think you need to be finished for the night."

She raised her eyebrow, "Really."

He responded, his voice husky, "Yes, really." 

Now, she was totally surprised. This was not like the Doctor. She gave him a hint of a smile, "What, exactly, do you have in mind?"

He did not respond, but took her hand and pulled her up from her chair. Then, he reached out to put his hand on the Borg implant on her right arm and wrapped his hand around the exoskeleton of her left hand. Her eyes grew wide, and she looked first at his hand on her right arm, then at his other hand holding hers. She looked up into his eyes, seeing the feeling inside them and feeling herself warmed by them.

"What…?"

"I don’t know, Seven."

She closed her eyes, soaking in the feeling coming from their contact, "I have never felt this before." Her voice was almost a whisper. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he kissed her on the neck. "Doctor?"

He was concentrating on her neck, and his reply came back muffled, "What?"

"Could this be Kathryn B’Elanna?"

At that, he stopped and pulled his head up to look at her, suddenly puzzled, "I don’t know." Then, he looked deeply into her eyes, "And right now, I really don’t care."

He leaned forward, covering her mouth with his, drowning out any further questions.

Supala nervously balanced the tray in her hand and crawled carefully into the Jeffries tube. She had been passing out treats to the crew that she and Neelix had made. The crew had been working on the maintenance check for the last six hours, and she and Neelix had decided they probably needed a snack. She had been looking for him as she passed around the tray and had finally learned he was working in the Jeffries tube.

Once inside, she checked the bottle of water she had attached to her belt, steadied herself and started to crawl. As soon as she came to the first junction, she saw him off to her right.

Taking a deep breath, she spoke, "Hungry?"

He looked up, somewhat surprised, "Oh. I didn’t hear you coming." Then, he saw the tray in her hand, and his face broke out into a grin, "But yes, I am hungry." He put down his tool and leaned back against the wall of the Jeffries tube, "And a little tired."

She crawled up to him slowly and handed him the tray. Then, she reached down and took the bottle from her belt, screwed off the lid and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He placed the bottle down next to him and took a bite of food from the tray. "Wow, this is great! Did you make this?"

She nodded, blushing slightly, but didn’t say anything.

He swallowed, "You’re Supala, aren’t you?"

She nodded, again, not quite trusting her voice to respond.

"Hi, Supala," he reached his hand forward in greeting, "I’m Harry."

She reached for his hand, almost feeling an electricity pour through her body at his touch and managed to respond without squeaking, "Hi." She could feel her already red face deepen in color and was glad he did not seem to notice. She glanced at where he had been working, "How is your work coming?"

He glanced up at the open panel on the wall, "So far, so good. I have been checking the bio-gel packs, making certain that traveling at transwarp speed hasn’t had any impact on them."

"And?"

"And," he gave her a confident smile, "they seem to be doing fine." He looked down at the tray and picked up another morsel, "I think I like these the best." He popped it into his mouth. "I don’t think I’ve ever had one of these."

"Those were sort of my own recipe. I took a couple of Neelix’s, combined them and made some of my own changes." She shrugged, self-consciously.

‘Well, they are my favorite."

She colored again and ran her hand through her hair, sending stray shocks of hair waving in all directions. He saw he had embarrassed her so he dropped his attention back to the tray, finishing without further conversation. 

"Well," he said, handing her back the tray, "that was delicious and very much appreciated. And thanks for the special delivery."

She moved to take the tray from him and hit the bottle of water with her foot, knocking it over, "Oh, no! Oh, I’m so sorry!" She watched in horror as the water spilled out of the bottle, right where Harry was sitting. She pulled herself up to her knees and looked helplessly at the puddle forming around him.

He looked down at his wet pants and then up at her, giving her a sick smile, "It’s okay. Don’t worry about it." He could see how upset she was, "It was an accident. No harm done."

"Oh, I can’t believe I did that. I am so sorry."

"No, really. I’m fine. It was a little warm in here anyway. This will cool me off."

"But…." Her voice trailed off, her face full of horror.

"Supala," Harry’s voice was soothing, "it’s okay. Don’t worry about it." He picked up the bottle, putting it on the tray, "Thank you for the treats…and the visit. I enjoyed both." He resisted the impulse to brush her wild hair down, "Now, I need to get back to work." He looked down at the spreading dark of his pants, "Why don’t you go ahead and…" he indicated the Jeffries tube behind her, "I’ll get back to work."

She nodded dumbly and turned to crawl off. He watched her go, waiting until she turned the corner before he moved from his spot, reaching around behind him to swipe excess water from the rear of his pants. Shaking his head, he laughed, "Poor kid." Then, he went back to work.

She crawled out of the Jeffries tube and leaned heavily against the wall. Supala, she thought, why do you always have to be such a disaster?

The Doctor had joined Kahkar in his lab. He had come over asking if Kahkar would look at a medical scan with him, but that wasn’t the real reason for his visit. As soon as he walked in, Kahkar knew it.

"Come, Doctor," he pulled out a chair, "let’s visit." He sat down in the opposite chair, "What is on your mind?"

The Doctor laughed, "I can’t fool you, can I?"

"No, Doctor." Kahkar smiled at him, "I know your program inside and out."

The Doctor chuckled and dropped his head to his chest. Then, he looked up at his friend, "I do need to talk to you about something. Something seems to have happened to me that I cannot understand. It..involves my relationship with Seven." He averted his eyes slightly and added, uncomfortably, "My physical, uh, my sexual relationship with her."

"Oh." Kahkar was surprised, then puzzled. He turned his head slightly, thinking, "It is possible part of your sexual subroutine has malfunctioned. That would cause your ability to function to fail."

"What?" The Doctor looked at him in surprise, "Fail? No, no, that’s not the problem."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Actually, I guess there really isn’t a problem," the Doctor crossed his legs and grasped his knee with his hands, "it’s just that…I…since…." He looked at Kahkar, suddenly unable to express himself.

Kahkar leaned forward, "It’s all right, Doctor. Just say it."

He took a deep breath, "I feel..desire for her. Kahkar, last night, I touched her implant," he reached with his left hand and placed it on his right arm, where Seven’s implant was, "and I held her left hand, and I had never felt so connected to her. She felt it, too." He got up and walked around the room, "I have been able to function sexually, and I have been able to have something like feelings, but I have never felt anything so intense as I felt last night. It was almost a…passion. I have never felt that before." He turned back to face his friend, "Things seemed to have changed since our experience on the holodeck. It is like something in me has changed. I was wondering if you would check my program. Maybe Kathryn B’Elanna has changed it in some way."

Kahkar was watching his friend carefully. He could see the Doctor was concerned. He gave himself a few minutes to consider what the Doctor had told him. Finally, he stood and walked up to him, placing his arm around his shoulder.

"Come, we will examine your program." He started walking the Doctor toward the center console, "But, I don’t think there is anything to worry about."

"Really?" The Doctor’s voice carried both relief and disbelief.

"I suspect it is a new adaptation your program has made. It is also possible that your daughter had something to do with it. We will look and see. But," he turned the Doctor to face him, "I am not certain it is something I would be upset about if I were you."

"No?"

"To feel passion for your wife?" Kahkar chuckled softly, "That, Doctor, is not a problem. That is a gift."

Seven and B’Elanna were on their knees with their heads together, working in a cramped area in the small room housing the main control panel in engineering. Both had frowns on their faces as they worked.

"Seven," B’Elanna’s voice was full of frustration, "can you tell what is going on with the warp core field?"

"No," Seven’s voice was equally frustrated, "The field seems unstable, but I cannot determine why."

"Could there be a conflict with the transwarp coil?"

"It is possible." She pulled her head out of the small opening where they had been studying the connections, and B’Elanna did the same. They leaned back against the walls, "Perhaps I should study the Borg nodes regarding the technical aspects of the transwarp coil again. Maybe I missed something."

B’Elanna nodded, distracted, "I’m glad the Captain decided to extend our downtime. Something tells me we are going to need it." She shifted and put a hand on the side of her stomach.

"Are you all right?"

"What?" B’Elanna looked up in surprise, not even realizing what Seven was talking about. Then, she saw that Seven’s eyes were on her hand, "Oh, yes. I’m fine." She glanced down at her stomach, "He is just getting to be a load."

"He?"

B’Elanna nodded, a grin on her face, "I guess I forgot to tell you. It’s a boy. We just found out." She patted the sides of her growing stomach, "Tom is thrilled. He says he can’t wait for his son to get here."

Seven smiled, then a sad look came over her face. B’Elanna saw it immediately.

"Wishing you could remember?"

Seven gave her a small nod, "I know some of the time of my pregnancy since I had my holodeck adventure," she looked at B’Elanna and raised her chin, "but a lot of my experiences are still lost to me. I do not believe I will ever get them back." She raised her eyebrows, "I am learning to live with that."

"Well," B’Elanna gave her friend a compassionate look, "maybe you can share some of my experiences with me." She laughed, "I have already taken you back to your ‘head in the toilet’ days."

Seven gave her a pleased look, "Yes, you have. Thank you for that." She ended with a laugh.

"Any time, my friend. The next time he kicks me awake in the middle of the night, I’ll give you a call and let you experience that with me, also." She pushed herself off the floor and moved out of the small room they had been in. Seven followed.

They were closing the door when they heard the alarm sound.

"What’s that?" B’Elanna’s voice rang out loudly in engineering, demanding an answer.

One of her crewmembers yelled back to her, his voice panicked, "The warp core field is destabilizing."

Almost as one, B’Elanna and Seven moved to the main console, quickly accessing the program and starting to work. B’Elanna ordered, "Take the program down."

"I am trying." She worked silently for a few minutes, "It will not respond."

"I am trying an emergency override." Her hands flew over the console. After a moment, she said, "No response."

Seven was already moving back to the small room where they had been working, "I will try to override the program from the main control panel." She had just opened the door when she heard the center console alarm go off. She turned and yelled, "B’Elanna! Mov….."

The explosion cut off her words, and she watched as B’Elanna was thrown backwards by the force of the explosion. Then, she found herself thrown against the wall, her head hitting hard. Fighting to stay conscious, she felt herself slide down the wall and fall to the floor. As soon as she could, she started moving through the smoke and flames to the place she thought she had seen the Lieutenant fall.

She could hear coughing and alarms throughout engineering. Crawling across the deck she commanded, "Computer, order an evacuation from engineering."

She heard the computer give the evacuation order, then heard as the Captain’s voice filled the room, demanding a report. She heard one of the crewmembers trying to comply but the response was muffled, and she could not make out the words. 

"Computer," she coughed her order, "implement emergency environmental controls and safety procedures." She watched the visibility on the floor start to clear as fans started to clear the smoke. It took her only a few seconds later to find B’Elanna.

She was lying in a pool of blood with a deep gash in her head. There were also serious burns on her face, chest and arms. Seven reached down and put her hands on B’Elanna’s belly, relieved there did not appear to be any wounds or even torn clothes. But, B’Elanna was unconscious. She grabbed at a crewmember fighting his way out of engineering.

"Assist me! The Lieutenant is" she coughed before she could continue, "hurt. We must get her out."

Her eyes were watering so badly, she could not see who it was that helped her. She saw hands grab at one of B’Elanna’s arms, and she grabbed the other. Between them, they dragged the unconscious lieutenant out of engineering.

She watched as the crewmember leaned over to check B’Elanna. She gave herself a moment to reach out and touch her friend’s stomach before she turned and re-entered engineering.

"Computer, who is still in engineering?"

"There are no other crewmembers in engineering."

She coughed heavily, working to catch her breath, "Computer, seal the doors of engineering. Establish a containment…" she coughed heavily, "field around engineering. Reroute emergency power to the containment field." 

Dropping to the floor, she made her way to the main control panel. She had to either shut down the warp core program or eject the warp core. If she didn’t, Voyager would be destroyed.

The alarm sounded on the bridge. Janeway turned immediately to Tuvok.

"There has been an explosion in engineering."

She raised her head, "Janeway to engineering, report." They waited and she commanded again, "Engineering, report."

Finally, a muffled voice came back over the com, but the crewmember was coughing so badly, she could not make out the words. She was starting to turn command over to Chakotay when the computer sent its warning.

"The warp core field is destabilizing. A warp core breach is imminent."

Her head shot up, eyes wide, "Tuvok, shut down the warp core." She watched as he worked. She could feel every person on the bridge stiffen, waiting for her command.

"I cannot override the program."

"How long before the breach?"

"Less than five minutes."

She turned, "Chakotay, you and Tom get to engineering." She waved them off the bridge with her head, "Computer, open a ship-wide communication." She waited a beat, then started speaking, "All hands, move to escape pods and prepare to abandon ship on my order." She turned back to Tuvok, "Keep trying to override the program. Eject the warp core if you have to."

He nodded grimly, lowering his head.

"Computer, open a channel to Kahkar Omarahn." She gave another beat, "Janeway to Kahkar."

"Go ahead, Kathryn."

"Kahkar, we have had an explosion in engineering and are facing a possible warp core breach. We are preparing to abandon ship. Can you take any injured we might have?"

"Yes," the reply was quick and terse, "can I do anything to help?"

She looked over at Tuvok working at his console, then replied, "Be prepared to protect yourself against a warp core explosion and give us a home if we need one. Janeway out."

She sat at her seat, pulling the computer to her and started working to help Tuvok.

Chakotay and Tom ran from the turbolift and into a rolling smoke that was coming at them from engineering. They were dodging crewmembers running toward the turbolift and the escape pods. Claxons were sounding around them. They rounded the corner to see a figure leaning over a body on the floor.

"B’Elanna!" Tom almost screamed when he saw her.

Chakotay quickly checked her pulse and looked up at him, "You’d better get her to sickbay." He tapped his combadge, "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Go ahead."

"B’Elanna is badly hurt. She needs immediate medical attention. Should we transport her to sickbay?"

"No, transport her to Kahkar’s ship. He is prepared to take on injured."

Chakotay nodded to Tom who gave the command, "Computer, emergency transport. Two to beam to Kahkar Omarahn’s lab."

Chakotay watched as they dematerialized, then addressed the coughing crewmember, "Is there anyone left in engineering?"

The man nodded and coughed out his answer, "Seven."

"Was she hurt?"

He shook his head, "She went back in."

Chakotay turned to the doors and keyed in his access code, but the doors didn’t open. He raised his head, "Computer, open the engineering doors."

"The engineering doors have been ordered sealed and an internal containment field set up. The doors cannot be opened."

He turned to the coughing crewmember, "Come on, I’ll get you out of here." He helped the man off the floor and walked him quickly down the corridor and out of the smoke. Once they were in the clear, he slapped his combadge, "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Yes, Chakotay."

"Seven of Nine is in engineering and has set up a containment field. I cannot get in. Tom has transported with B’Elanna."

It was silent a moment, then her voice came back, "We’ll try to communicate with Seven. Make certain everyone is safely evacuated from that area."

"Aye, Captain. Chakotay out." He glanced over his shoulder at the smoke still rolling through the corridor and helped the coughing man toward the turbolift.

She could barely breath and the visibility in engineering was getting worse. She had tried everything she could think of, but nothing was working. She closed her eyes, tears steaming down her face from the acrid smoke in the room. She could barely see what she was doing.

Suddenly, she turned her head back toward the warp core. None of the override commands were working, but it might be possible to force a shutdown if she connected with the program. Crawling on the floor, hugging to it as closely as possible, she finally reached the base of the core and forced a panel covering off. Then, she aimed her ejection tubules at the computer inside and ejected them, connecting. She closed her eyes tightly, coughing and gasping for air. If she couldn’t override the program, maybe she could at least force the core to eject. Concentrating, she lowered her head to the floor, nestling it in the crook of her arm.

Supala was running back to the Jeffries tube where Harry was working. She didn’t know if he would be able to hear the evacuation order inside the tube. As soon as she reached the access door, it swung open and he emerged, his face grim.

"Oh." She suddenly was at a loss for words.

"Supala!" He looked at her in surprise, then looked around at people running, "What happened?"

"I don’t know. I heard someone saying something about an explosion in engineering."

He stopped, and she knew immediately what he was thinking. She must have been in engineering. Of course, it made sense that she would be the first person he would think of. Before Supala could say anything, he grabbed her arm, "Come on, we need to get you out of here."

He pulled her along with him, running toward the turbolift. They rounded a corner and ran into Chakotay.

"Commander! What happened?"

"There was an explosion in engineering, and the Captain is preparing the crew to abandon ship."

"What?"

"We are facing a warp core breach, and we can’t shut down the program."

"Is anyone still in engineering?"

Chakotay was waving crewmembers on toward the escape pods, "Seven is in there. She has set up a containment field and must be trying to shut down the program."

"Is she all right?"

"I have no idea. We haven’t been able to communicate with her." He looked for other people in the area, then indicated to Harry he should follow him in escaping from the deck. "Come on, Ensign, we need to get out of here."

"You lead, Commander. I’m right behind you." He watched as Chakotay moved off with a number of crewmembers in tow. Then, he backed off and turned to head for engineering. When he did, he ran into Supala. "Supala!" He pushed her in the direction Chakotay had gone, "You need to follow the Commander."

She reluctantly moved in the direction that he had indicated, then turned once she knew he had gone and followed him toward the corridor to engineering. She watched as he dipped down low when he neared the engineering doors and tried, unsuccessfully, to open them. Then, she saw him move past the engineering doors. She ducked low and followed.

Tom and B’Elanna materialized in front of the Doctor and Kahkar. They moved toward the couple immediately with the Doctor reaching out to stop Tom from lifting his wife from the floor.

"No, Tom. We need to check her first."

Tom backed out of the way and watched in panic as the Doctor and Kahkar checked B’Elanna. He watched as they looked at each other, then reached to lift her between them, placing her on the examination table, then started to work. He heard the Doctor speak, his voice soft, but terse, "She’s having contractions. We need to try to get them stopped if we can."

Tom saw Kahkar nod, his face concerned, and reach for a hypospray. Both men turned their full attention to his wife and he stood, helplessly watching.

Ketaria was moving through the corridors of Voyager with Kathryn B’Elanna wrapped tightly in her arms. The child was holding tightly to her body, obviously frightened at the claxons and activity that surrounded them. 

"Mama? Dada?"

"We are going to get to my home, Kathryn B’Elanna. Then, we’ll find your Mama and Dada."

She ran as quickly as she could, dodging crewmembers that were running in all directions around her. Suddenly, she felt the child in her arms stiffen. She stopped to look at her and saw an expression of horror come over Kathryn B’Elanna’s face.

Kathryn B’Elanna started screaming, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" Then, she started fighting, "Down, Keta. Down."

"Kathryn B’Elanna." Ketaria had to fight to keep the child in her arms, "What is it?"

"Mama! Mama!" She was sobbing with tears pouring from her eyes, "Mama." Then, her voice choked off and, without a look at Ketaria, her eyes went vacant.

Ketaria stood there, looking at Kathryn B’Elanna’s face, astounded. Somehow, Kathryn B’Elanna had left awareness without…leaving awareness. She had just gone. Ketaria quickly hunted a quiet corner, sat down and tried to follow her. 

He had only gone a few meters when he heard a sound behind him. He turned quickly to see her following him.

"Supala! What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, I thought you might need help."

"You should have followed Commander Chakotay."

The tone of his voice made her angry, "But I didn’t, and you might need help. I’m here to help." Her red eyes flashed, "Now, do you want to argue, or do you want to see if Seven needs help?"

His indecisiveness lasted only a moment, "Okay, but if I tell you to do something, you do it. Immediately. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

He gave her a hard look, then turned to make his way down the Jeffries tube. After a few minutes of crawling, he came to an access door. Before he keyed in his command codes, he looked at her, "You stay here. I’ll go in to make certain its safe before you come in." He pushed the door open, then pulled it shut as the tube filled with smoke. "Oh, man, it’s bad in there." He coughed, working to catch his breath. He tapped his combadge, "Computer, locate Seven of Nine."

Nothing. He gave Supala a glance, then tried again, "Computer, what is the status of the warp core?" Again, nothing. He tried one more time, "Kim to the bridge." He shook his head, looked back at Supala and shrugged in frustration.