Copyright 2000, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

Tom was straightening up the instruments in sickbay, aware of the deafening silence in the room.

"It would be all right if you said I told you so."

He looked up to see Harry giving him an embarrassed grin. Tom dropped his head a moment, then looked up, giving his friend a smile, "Now, would I do that to you?" Then, he laughed, "But I did tell you so."

"Yes, you did. And I should have listened." He fell silent again, "I’m sorry, Tom. I’m sorry for everything. I have really messed up everything. What was I thinking?"

Tom picked up a PADD and walked up to him, "Have you stopped to consider that maybe you weren’t really thinking much at all?"

"What?"

"These scans," he waived the PADD in front of his friend, "tell me you are exhausted, anemic, suffering from weight loss…of course, I didn’t need scans to tell me that. I can see it." He put the PADD down, lowering his voice, "Harry, you need help. You aren’t sleeping at all, are you?"

Harry’s eyes were defensive, then, the fight went out of them, "I can’t, Tom."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

He choked on the word even as he said it, "Nightmares." It was all he could get out.

Tom looked at him sympathetically, "Of Seven’s implant replacement?"

Harry nodded, his eyes closed tightly.

Tom did not think he had ever hurt so much for anyone. He reached up and grabbed his friend by the shoulder, "Harry, you have got to let someone help you."

"I’m sure the Doctor would be glad to."

"Maybe not the Doctor right now, but I’m sure Ketaria would."

Harry looked up, nodding, his eyes full of pain and empty of fight, "Yes. Maybe that’s what I should do."

Tom gripped his shoulder tighter, "You know I’ll do whatever I can to help."

"Thanks, Tom. I appreciate that."

"Hey, buddy, what are friends for? You just let me…."

He was interrupted by a beeping sound on the console behind him. Frowning, he turned toward the sound, "What in the world?" He walked to the console, taking a moment to read the data on the screen. Suddenly, he reached up to slap his combadge, "Paris to the Doctor."

"Doctor here." The voice was soft and powerless.

"Doctor," Tom’s voice was urgent, "there is something wrong in the cargo bay. It looks like Seven’s alcove is malfunctioning…or something."

"Is she in there?" The voice came back, demanding.

He was quiet for a moment, then responded, "Yes, and her bio-readings are erratic."

"I’m on my way."

Tom turned and starting grabbing equipment. Harry jumped off the biobed, "I’m coming, too."

Tom started to tell him no, but one look at his face told him it would be a waste of words. "Then let’s go."

When they arrived at the cargo bay, the Doctor was frantically trying to open the doors. He looked up at them in frustration.

"We’re locked out."

Tom slapped his combadge, "Paris to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"We have a medical emergency in cargo bay two but cannot get in. Can you override security protocols and open the door?"

Tuvok glanced up at Captain Janeway who was already moving toward him, nodding at him to open the doors. He keyed in a few commands, then responded to Tom, concerned eyes locked on his Captain, "I cannot override the security controls." 

The Doctor slammed his hands on the door in frustration. "Seven!" He yelled. "Seven, can you hear me? Open the door! Seven!!" He turned, then slapped his own combadge, "Tuvok, can you transport me in?" He waited. 

"Negative. A force field has been erected inside the cargo bay." 

Janeway stood listening. Then, she raised her head, "The bridge to Torres."

"Yes, Captain."

"We’ve got an emergency in cargo bay two. Seven has locked us out and erected a force field inside. Can you figure out how she did it and get us in?"

B’Elanna and Meloka cut their eyes to each other, then B’Elanna responded, "I’m on it, Captain." She bent to work.

Meloka moved next to her, "Maybe I can help." When B’Elanna looked at her questioningly, she continued, "I am a computer program, after all. My knowledge might come in helpful."

B’Elanna gave her an appreciative nod and they went to work. 

Ketaria woke up, immediately aware that something was wrong. She sat up, eyes searching and saw Kathryn B’Elanna on the floor. She quickly slid off the couch and onto the floor next to her. Placing her hand on Kathryn B’Elanna’s stomach, she concentrated. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes and touched her free hand to her combadge.

"Ketaria to the Doctor." Her voice was urgent.

His response was immediate, "What is it, Ketaria."

"You should come immediately."

"What’s wrong?" He looked up at Tom, suddenly afraid.

"Kathryn B’Elanna has left awareness." He closed his eyes, waiting for her to continue. "I have no idea where she went."

He turned slowly, staring at the closed doors to the cargo bay and spoke to no one in particular, his voice strained and unbelieving, "I think I know where she is." 

Tom stepped up to him, "Doctor, I’ll stay here and let you know as soon as we get in. You go see about KB."

He gave the doors a final glance and hurried down the corridor to the turbolift. As soon as he entered the guest quarters, he saw Ketaria on the floor, near his daughter. Kathryn B’Elanna looked as if she were simply napping. He knew better.

Ketaria looked up at him, afraid, "I cannot believe she left awareness without me knowing it." She looked at the child on the floor, "I cannot feel her journey. I have no idea where she is."

He joined her on the floor, "I’m pretty sure I know where she is."

Ketaria jerked her head in his direction, "Where?"

"She is with her mother."

"I don’t understand."

"Seven apparently is in her alcove, and there is something going wrong in there right now."

"What is it?"

"We don’t know. We can’t get in. Seven has the security lock on the door and a force field erected inside."

"Is there a way to reach her?"

"They are trying." 

His voice told her there was more, "What are you not telling me, Doctor?"

"Her life signs are erratic."

"Oh, no." She looked down at Kathryn B’Elanna, then back to the Doctor, measuring her words carefully, "They could both be at risk if…something happens to Seven while Kathryn B’Elanna is in her mind."

He put his hand to his mouth, thinking. Finally, he looked at her, his face firm, "Can you take me to where they are?"

She shook her head slowly, "I don’t know, Doctor. I don’t know if I can take you there without Kathryn B’Elanna."

"Will you try?"

"Yes. Now, let me think about how to do this." She was quiet a moment, "I need something physical to connect you and Kathryn B’Elanna."

He smiled at her, "Will this help?" He turned slightly to present his mobile emitter to her.

She nodded gratefully and reached up to wrap her hand around it and, keeping her other hand on Kathryn B’Elanna, starting to concentrate. The Doctor dematerialized as she left awareness.

"Do you know where we are?"

"No, Doctor. This is a strange place for me. I cannot see anything." She could not keep her discomfort out of her voice, "I am pleased to be able to see you here."

"Well, you got me here. Now, let’s see if we can find Seven and Kathryn B’Elanna and get them out of here."

Ketaria was quiet a moment, "I have no idea where to go."

The Doctor stood, then closed his eyes. Suddenly, he said, "We go this way."

Ketaria followed him, surprised that he seemed to have a direction, but trusting that he did. It did not take them long before they saw two figures. Ketaria instinctively stood back and let the Doctor approach.

"Seven." He made his voice soft and low, afraid that he would frighten her. He was shocked when she looked up at him.

"Doctor."

It was Seven. It was his Seven. He couldn’t say anything.

"You must take Kathryn B’Elanna and leave." Her eyes were locked on his face, "You must hurry. There is not much time."

"What?"

"One of my implants has been destroyed. I…don’t think I have much time."

"If you will let me in the cargo bay, I can help you."

"It may be too late. You must get Kathryn B’Elanna out of here."

"Come with me. We will get her out of here together."

She nodded and stood, following the Doctor and Ketaria, with Kathryn B’Elanna.

"Tell me the security overrides, Seven."

"Two-pi-theta-omega."

He nodded. Then, he looked at her, "You remember…me…us."

She glanced up at him, "For right here. For right now. But, if I survive, possibly not later."

"The important thing is that you survive. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have yesterday. It is only important that we have tomorrow."

Her eyes went to his, and he saw the love in them. 

"I will remember the look in your eyes right now, Seven. That is all I will ever need."

Ketaria spoke, "We are here. It is time to return to awareness." She spoke to Seven, "The Doctor and I will leave with Kathryn B’Elanna. You will have to stay here until…."

"I understand." She turned her eyes to him, "Take good care of our daughter."

He did not even have time to reply before he was materializing in Ketaria’s guest quarters. He glanced quickly at his daughter and saw that she was waking up.

"Go, Doctor!" Ketaria’s voice was insistent.

He ran.

He slapped his combadge, "Tom!"

"Yes, Doctor."

"The security override is two-pi-theta-omega."

There was quiet for a moment, then he heard Tom’s voice, "We are in, Doctor."

"Tom, transport her to sickbay. I’m on my way there now."

He ran into the sickbay to see Tom and Harry materialize, holding Seven between them. They quickly got her on the biobed and the Doctor activated the extensions, quickly starting the diagnostics. 

"What happened, Doctor?" Tom asked.

"She said one of her implants had been destroyed."

"What?"

Harry started at his words, then, remembering something, pointing to the place he saw every night in his dreams, said, "Doctor, scan there."

The Doctor moved the scan area, "That’s it."

"Has it done any damage?" Tom moved closer.

"I can’t really tell. It seems to have melted down." He turned to prepare a surgical tray, "We are going in to get it out. Tom, prepare for surgery."

Tom immediately went into action beside the Doctor. Harry back out of their way.

Eloca did not think he had ever felt so afraid. He stood staring at the screen in front of him, not moving. Hurry, Kahkar, he thought. Please hurry.

The doors opened behind him, and Kahkar came walking in and stood, silent in front of the screen.

"I would talk with you."

He crossed his arms across his chest, "Your ship or mine?"

"I would prefer yours."

"I thought so."

The eyes went up in concentration, then lowered, "My ship’s shields are down."

He turned to Eloca, "When I tell you, transport her to the observation deck." When Eloca started to protest, he quieted him with a raised eyebrow, "Do as I told you, Eloca." He turned and left the bridge.

Eloca allowed himself to look back at the screen and saw the black eyes staring at him. He forced himself not to shake and to stand straight, waiting on his orders from Kahkar. Despite his confident exterior, his fear was almost overwhelming him. It seemed forever before he heard Kahkar’s voice come over the communication system.

"Begin transport."

His hands hurriedly worked the controls and he watched as the Borg queen dematerialized from the screen.

When she materialized on his observation deck, he was standing in front of her.

"What do you want?"

"Even Captain Janeway was more…welcoming than you."

He smiled, "I hope you will understand if I am not very welcoming."

"Yes, I do understand. Yours is a science vessel, with a crew of four. You would not last long against one of our cubes."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Why do I get the feeling I should not have to worry about that?"

She smiled, "You are a smart man, Kahkar Omarahn. You would greatly add to our perfection."

He stepped closer, "Why do I get the feeling I should not worry about that, either?"

She blinked her black eyes, but she did not respond to his question. Instead, she said, "I have come to ask you to do something for me."

"A favor?" He allowed his voice to carry a hint of humor. "The Borg asking for a favor." When she did not respond, he took a breath, "But it is not the Borg who are asking." He turned to look out of the observation window, feeling her behind his back. "Is it?"

She walked up to stand next to him, taking a long time to answer, "No, it is not."

"What is your favor?"

She turned, and he turned with her. He watched as she concentrated and an object began to materialize in front of them. He recognized it immediately, his forehead rising in surprise.

"And what do you want me to do with that?"

"I wish you to take it to Voyager."

He did not try to hide his shock at her words, but he waited for her to continue.

"They should use it to escape from the Delta Quadrant as soon as possible. It has been modified to work efficiently with Voyager’s systems."

"A customized transwarp coil." He clasped his hands behind his back. "It is a generous gift." She did not respond, and he walked around to look at the coil. After a moment, he looked at her, "Why?"

When she once again kept her peace, he walked back to look out of the observation windows. He allowed the silence to drag out for a while, then started to speak.

"I have had much time to study during these last few months. It is amazing what one can come to terms with and learn when one is allowed the time to think. I realized there were many things about Seven that bothered me.

"Captain Janeway allowed me to read her logs about Seven joining Voyager. She recorded that period of Seven’s life in exquisite detail. In my experiences with the Borg, I do not think I ever met a drone who was the least independent, who carried any shred of individuality.

"But, it seems Seven did." He kept his back to her, but he knew he had her full attention. "I always thought that odd for a drone --even one that served close to you. After I learned about how you manipulated her DNA, I thought the insertion of the Batair DNA explained her…willfulness. But, I wondered, how would that have worked in the collective? How could a drone with an independent mind, however slight that independence was, not take away from the perfection of the collective? Then, I realized, she had to have been protected." He turned to look at her.

"‘You are unique.’ That is what you said to her when you tried to get her back from Voyager. She was more than unique, wasn’t she?"

He started walking around her before she could respond, and he continued talking, "What I don’t understand is why you did not take her back after she got pregnant. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? You wanted her to mate and have a child. Why didn’t you take her then? Or after the baby was born?"

"Kathryn B’Elanna."

"You know?" He stood in front of her, "Of course you know. You had full access to her memories when you replaced her implants. You know that Kathryn B’Elanna has special abilities that could be…beneficial to the Borg. So, why haven’t the Borg tried to take her?"

The queen looked up at him, the corners of her mouth curling up slightly, "She is imperfect."

"Imperfect?"

"We wanted a child of natural conception, not a construct. We could have arranged a pregnancy ourselves. We needed a child from a natural union."

"Why?"

There was no answer.

Kahkar breathed deeply, "I am certain the answer has something to do with your efforts to conquer humanity." The look in her eyes told him he was right. He glanced away, thinking, taking his time before continuing, "That is why you repressed her memories. Did you also program her to be attracted to someone else?"

He quickly turned back to catch the eyes unprepared for his stare and, once again he knew he was right.

"We hoped she would mate with…someone else."

He nodded, "That’s why you didn’t tell us she should regenerate for two weeks after returning to Voyager. You wanted her…resistance down."

"We were confident that the programming would eventually take over and our goal would be achieved, but we needed it to happen quickly. We thought her vulnerability during that time would result in a conception. We knew you would not let her be damaged."

He had to work to not let her see his anger. Suddenly, he stopped, "Something has happened." He approached her, towering over her, "What is it?" He stared intently into her black eyes, then pulled back, a smile coming into his face, "You underestimated her love for the Doctor. You lost her."

"Yes." She raised her head to look up at him, "But it is possible you did also."

His smile disappeared and his eyes hardened, "If she is dead, so too, will you be."

"She will not lose her life."

His eyes were puzzled for only a moment, then, a sadness came into them, "Her memories."

This time, it was the queen who moved to stand in front of the observation windows, looking out of them, "Regardless of what she does or does not remember, you should take her…and the child out of the Delta Quadrant as soon as possible."

He waited on her to continue.

"The child is…more powerful than I would have thought."

"You…have met her?"

"In a manner of speaking." She concentrated on the view out of the window. Then she spoke, her voice soft, "She looks like her mother."

"Yes, she does."

She paused, "She is not safe here."

He thought carefully for a moment, "The collective does not know about…how powerful she is."

The eyes turned back to his. The silence stretched long before them. Finally, she said, "No."

"You hear the thoughts of the collective, but the collective does not have to hear all of yours."

She did not respond.

"The collective only knows she is imperfect and…therefore, unacceptable." He watched her face for a long time, studying it, noticing how it did not change. But, he knew, and he understood. He sighed, "You have my word. I will do my best to get Seven and Kathryn B’Elanna out of the Delta Quadrant safely and as quickly as possible."

She continued to hold his eyes for a few more minutes, then turned to walk to the center of the room. He started to give the order to transport her back to her ship when she spoke to him.

"Kahkar Omarahn."

"Yes?"

"You will take them to earth?"

"Yes. I will."

She looked away as if carefully deciding on her words, "There are more enemies than just those in the Delta Quadrant. Be careful who you trust."

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. Before he could ask her what she meant, she lifted her head, concentrated and dematerialized. He turned to see the ship that had been waiting outside his observation window begin to move and then, flash out of sight as the transwarp drive was brought on line.

"Kahkar to the bridge."

"You have the bridge, sir."

"Resume course. Full transwarp speed."

"Aye, sir."

His eyes stayed on the view outside of the window, but he did not see it.

The doors opened and she walked into their living quarters.

"Hello, Seven. Dinner is ready."

She looked around, hands held behind her back, "Where is the…our child?"

"She is with Ketaria tonight. I thought you might enjoy a quiet night here. It will give us a chance to visit a little more." He pulled out a chair for her and invited her to sit in it. 

She sighed and walked over, sitting carefully in the chair. He pushed it in under her, reached for the plate he had prepared for her and placed it in front of her.

"One of your favorite dishes."

She looked at it for a moment, then looked up at him and said, "Steamed vegetables and baked Toelarian fish."

"Right." He grinned at her and received a smile in return. "I thought about lobster, but didn’t want to bring up any…bad memories for you." He waited.

Her eyes went blank, then her expression brightened, "My first date."

"Right, again." She gave him a pleased expression. He waived his hand at her, "Go ahead and eat."

She picked up her fork, then cut her eyes at him, "Are you not going to join me?"

His eyes went wide, but he quickly nodded, "Of course. Let me get my plate."

He soon sat down, and they started their meal. He kept up a running string of conversations, using every opportunity to tell her about their lives together and about her life on Voyager. She listened and asked questions.

She had had no memories when she woke up from the surgery. The implant had been destroyed, but no permanent damage had been done. Except that her memories had been lost in the process --not all of them, but most of the ones of her life on Voyager.

He had started working with her immediately. He had told her about their marriage and introduced her to Kathryn B’Elanna. Without the implant causing her pain whenever she tried to regain her memories, she was more accepting, even if she had been overwhelmed by everything from time to time.

And Harry Kim had stayed completely away from her. He had switched to the night shift on the bridge just to make certain he did not come into contact with her. The Doctor had only seen him once or twice lately. He frowned when he thought about it. He needed to call him in for a check up. He did not think Harry had looked well.

"What?"

He looked up, "Excuse me?"

"You were frowning, so I asked what."

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about something. It isn’t important." He stood and picked up their plates, carrying them to the recycler. "Why don’t we go sit down over here."

She joined him, and they sat on the sofa together, not close, but together and continued their visit. It was a pleasant evening and he even managed to get her to give him a smile from time to time. Finally, he said, "It is time for you to regenerate, Seven. Come on, I’ll tuck you in."

He offered his hand, and she took it. He smiled as he led her into their bedroom. "Do you want to change into your gown or do you want to sleep in what you have on?"

"I think I will change."

"Good." He pointed to the bathroom, "Your gown is hanging in there."

She left to change, and he turned the covers down and activated the headboard. He heard her come back into the room and turned to face her, catching his breath as he did. She was standing with the light from the bathroom glowing behind her. Her hair was down and he could see the shadow of her body through the gown. He quickly turned back to the bed.

"So, your bed is ready." He stood, waiting on her, not yet trusting himself to look at her.

She approached, lifted the covers and got into the bed. He helped her pull the covers over her and smoothed them. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep well. If you need me, I’ll be in the other room." He lifted his head, "Computer, lights out."

He held her hand for a brief moment and started to leave. She called to him before he walked out of the door.

"Doctor."

He turned, "Yes, Seven?"

She sat up in the bed, pulling the covers up close to her chest. She raised her head and sighed, "I…I..uh..I would prefer not to be alone tonight." She did not look at him.

He walked back toward the bed, not certain what to think. "Do you want me to sit beside you?"

She looked away, "You could lie on the bed."

He clasped one hand in the other, "Okay, Seven. If you are sure." He lifted his head and spoke, "Computer, EMH pajamas." Once his uniform had dissolved into his pajamas, he very carefully stretched out in the bed, keeping to his side of the bed. He waited a minute, then said, "Good night, Seven."

"Good night, Doctor."

He listened as her breathing slowed and became steady. Then, he knew she was sleeping. He stayed still, not wanting to do anything to wake her up – or to scare her. He also stayed awake, noting as the time ticked slowly away.

About the middle of the night, she shifted in the bed, slowly rolling toward him, draping her arm across his chest and resting her head on his shoulder. He only allowed his eyes to move as he tried to watch her for any sign that she would wake up and be afraid. But he heard her breathing deepen again as she settled into sleep.

Finally, morning came, and he felt her start to wake up. She moved slightly against him, then pulled her head back. He kept his body still as he turned his head toward her.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Did you rest well?" He noticed she had not pulled her arm away from him.

"Yes, I slept well." She gave him a small smile.

"So, we both have today off. I thought we might spend it together. If you would like."

She nodded at him, "I would like that." 

"Good. What would you like to do today?" He very carefully rolled to face her, aware that she kept her arm around him as he did so.

"What would you suggest?"

He grinned at her, "I can think of many things we could do, a picnic with Kathryn B’Elanna, an afternoon opera…." 

She listened as he talked about what they could do with their day. She watched his face light up as he talked about all of the possibilities. That was one of the things she had learned to like about him. No, love about him. He always saw all of the possibilities. To him, life was all about good things. So much of hers was a blank, but he was slowly filling those in, helping her remember. He was helping her learn to live again, giving her back the life she had lived on this ship. She looked at the lines in his face and had the sudden desire to reach out and touch his face, tracing the lines in it. She watched his mouth as he talked. It was a mouth quick to form into a smile. It was a tender mouth, and she longed to trace her finger around it. She looked into his eyes, feeling the warmth that came from them. They held her face with such love. Suddenly, she realized he had asked her a question.

"What?"

"I asked if any of those things appealed to you."

She glanced down at his mouth, then raised her eyes to his, "Why don’t you surprise me."

"Okay, if you are sure you trust me."

She stared into his eyes, "I trust you, Doctor."

He looked back at her, his face serious, enjoying the closeness of this moment and pleased that she had not pulled away from him. "Okay, Seven." He smiled softly at her, "I will try to make it a special day."

She slid her arm down so that her hand was on his chest, then she said to him, "I know what would make this a special day."

"Oh? And what is that, Seven?"

She was quiet for a moment, looked down at her hand on his chest, then raised her eyes back to his, "Breakfast in bed."