Copyright 2000, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

Harry Kim entered the sickbay without breaking stride. He stopped as soon as he entered, looking for the Doctor. The only person he saw was Otoro, sitting on the biobed.

"Where is the Doctor?"

"He and Meloka went somewhere." The voice was dejected.

Harry could feel his anger starting to build, "Do you know where they went?"

Otoro shook his head and Harry could see that he was not happy. He walked up to the man, careful to control the tremor of his voice, "What is going on?"

The man looked up at him with half a worried expression. He hesitated before he responded, "I’m not certain."

"Does it have to do with Meloka?"

Otoro gave him a mildly surprised look, then nodded.

"And the Doctor."

Now the look was wide-eyed, "You know?"

"I didn’t," replied Harry, his voice now angry, "but I am starting to. What happened?"

"I woke up and saw them kissing. Then, they went into his office. After a few minutes, they came out holding hands. Then, the Doctor spoke to the computer and they left."

Harry Kim was livid, "Do you know where they went?"

"From the look on their faces, I’d say somewhere they could have some privacy."

He was so angry he was starting to shake. He would kill the Doctor for doing this to Seven. Raising his head, he spoke, "Computer, where is the EMH?"

"The EMH is in engineering."

Harry looked at Otoro, "I’m going to find them."

Otoro did not hesitate a moment, "I’m coming with you."

They left sickbay, and Harry led the way to engineering.

B’Elanna was studying Meloka’s program, "Actually, Meloka, you did a good job inserting the Doctor’s emotional subroutines. I am not certain I could have done any better."

Meloka gave the Doctor an I-told-you-so look, and he grinned at her. B’Elanna watched them carefully, relieved that the Doctor was not interested in Meloka, but still a little concerned about what she saw in Meloka’s eyes. Regardless, the Doctor had made it clear that Meloka’s feelings were not returned. He had made some vague comments that told B’Elanna that he wanted her to help Meloka explore possible feelings for Otoro. She was determined to do a good job helping those along.

"But," B’Elanna continued, "the Doctor was right. Inserting all of them at once could have been dangerous to you. I think it would be a good idea if we run some diagnostics and make certain everything is functioning according to normal parameters. With your permission, I’ll start now."

"Of course, Lieutenant. I would appreciate your doing so."

"Thank you, B’Elanna. Now, if you two don’t mind, Seven is due in sickbay for her checkup, and I don’t want to keep her waiting." He started to go when she spoke to him.

"Doctor."

"Yes?"

Meloka lowered her head and gave B’Elanna a sideways glance.

"Uh, if you two would excuse me," B’Elanna stepped away from them, "I need to set up the diagnostics over there." She headed for a console away from them.

Meloka watched her go, then lowered her voice, "About what happened…."

"Meloka," the Doctor smiled at her warmly, "don’t worry about it." He grinned broadly, "The first feelings of love are a wonderful thing. It was nice to share them with you."

She gave him a grateful smile, and he put his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

At that moment, Harry and Otoro walked in. From their positions, all they could see was the Doctor’s back, his arms forward, leaning down to embrace Meloka. They could not see that he was only kissing her cheek.

Harry’s anger exploded. It took only about three steps for him to reach the Doctor, grab him by arm and jerk him roughly around. Before he could react, Harry pulled back his fist and swung at the Doctor, catching him soundly on the chin, knocking him back into Meloka. They both went down hard.

When Otoro saw what had happened, he went after Harry, catching him just under his left eye with his fist. Harry went into the Doctor who was trying to get off of Meloka. In a matter of seconds, it was a free for all, with fists flying everywhere.

B’Elanna slapped her combadge, "Security to engineering, immediately." Then, she yelled, "I need some help over here." And she entered into the melee, trying to separate the fighting men. A fist from somewhere sent her flat on her back.

People came from everywhere, pulling at arms and bodies, trying to separate the three men who were still swinging wildly at each other. Meloka had managed to extricate herself and was trying to pull B’Elanna out of the way.

"Are you okay?" She was looking at B’Elanna worriedly.

"I’m fine." She was gingerly touching her left eye, "But I think I am going to have a black eye." She started to get to her feet.

"No. I don’t think you should move. You should let the Doctor check you first."

B’Elanna looked up at her with a puzzled expression on her face, "Why?" As soon as she said it, she remembered, "Oh. Oh my, God." She put her hands to her abdomen and looked up at Meloka with a worried expression, "I don’t feel anything."

"Well, to be safe, you’d better stay still." Meloka turned her attention back to the group surrounding the fight, looking for the Doctor. Seeing him, she stood, calling to him, her voice insistent, "Doctor, B’Elanna needs you!"

Her voice drew his attention. He saw B’Elanna on the floor and fought his way through the crowd to get to her.

At that moment, the doors opened and Tuvok came in with a security force, phasers drawn. The Captain immediately followed.

"What is going on here?" Her voice was angry and demanding.

The Doctor was on his knees, scanning B’Elanna, a worried expression on his face. The Captain saw it and came over immediately.

"What is it, Doctor?"

B’Elanna spoke up, "I just got hit by a stray fist from the fight."

"Fight?" The Captain looked over her shoulder at Harry and Otoro, both with torn shirts and bruised faces.

"Yes," the Doctor’s voice was terse, "and B’Elanna’s pregnant."

"What?" The Captain whirled back to look at them, her expression both surprised and suddenly afraid. "Is the baby all right."

"I think so," replied the Doctor, "but we are going to the sickbay right now." He raised his head, "Computer, two to beam to the sickbay. Medical emergency."

Meloka and Janeway moved back as they dematerialized. Then, Janeway immediately turned to face the two men standing with shoulders slumped in front of her. "I want an explanation, and I want it now."

Harry looked at Meloka, then raised his head, "Captain, with your permission, could we do this in private?"

Janeway looked around at the faces in engineering, then nodded. "Okay. I will see all three of you in my ready room. I will meet you there in a few minutes." She turned, addressing Tuvok, "Make certain Meloka gets transferred to my ready room. I am going to sickbay first. And," she turned her attention back to Harry and Otoro, "have someone stay with these two gentlemen. I don’t want a repeat performance."

"Aye, Captain." Tuvok eyed the two men with a look that told them they should not try anything. Then, he used his phaser to invite them to lead the way to the Captain’s ready room.

Janeway rushed to the sickbay to find B’Elanna on the main biobed and the diagnostic extensions already activated. She was relieved to see the Doctor’s expression relatively unconcerned.

He glanced up as soon as she came in, "I think everything is going to be okay." He was using the dermal regenerator on B’Elanna’s face, "Once I take care of this bruise, I think she will be as good as new." He leaned down over her, "B’Elanna, what were you thinking?"

"I wasn’t, Doctor." She was shaking her head. She looked up and laughed, "I’m not used to being pregnant."

"I can’t believe you are pregnant," Janeway put her hand on her shoulder, and gave her a warm smile, "how far along are you?"

The Doctor replied, "Only a month." Then he looked at his patient, sternly, "It could have been over today. You realize that don’t you?"

She nodded solemnly, "No more breaking up fights for the next eight months. I promise."

Janeway asked, "Do either of you know what caused that fight?"

The Doctor straightened up, "I have no idea. The only think I know is that Ensign Kim attacked me."

Janeway’s mouth flew open, "He attached you? I thought the fight was between Harry and Otoro."

"No," interjected B’Elanna, sitting up as the biobed’s extensions retracted, "Harry went for the Doctor. Then, Otoro went for Harry after Harry knocked the Doctor into Meloka. Then, everyone went for everyone."

"Harry went after you?" She was looking to the Doctor in amazement.

"Yes. It’s a good thing I’m a hologram. Otherwise, I think he would have knocked my head off my shoulders." The Doctor touched his jaw, as if expecting it to be sore."

"Well," Janeway put her hands on her hips, "I guess I’d better go find out what this is all about." She turned her attention to the Doctor, "Can you go with me?"

"Of course."

"I’m going, too."

"No, B’Elanna."

"But, Captain, the Doctor just said I’m fine. I want to go."

Janeway looked to the Doctor who gave her a nod. "All right then. Let’s go see if we can find out what all this is about."

"Okay. I want an explanation and I want it now." She was glaring at Harry Kim, her face angry.

He looked up, "Why don’t you ask the Doctor why he was kissing Meloka?"

She felt as if she had been slapped. She whirled and looked at the Doctor’s surprised face, "Doctor?"

"I didn’t kiss her!" He was protesting vehemently, "She kissed me!"

"And you didn’t kiss her back?" Harry started for him, only to be held back by Tuvok.

"No!"

"Yes, you did! I saw it." This time it was Otoro who started for the Doctor. Tuvok reached out and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back.

"I did not!"

"Stop it!" Janeway got in the middle of the men, her hands up to them. As soon as they all three quieted down, she turned to Meloka, "Would you like to add anything?"

Meloka gave Otoro a shy look, then said to the Captain, "I kissed the Doctor, but he did not kiss me back."

The Doctor threw both men a self-satisfied look, but kept quiet.

"Captain," B’Elanna stepped forward, "I think I can clear some of this up."

"Go ahead, Lieutenant."

"Meloka has been interested in the fact that the Doctor has…more human feelings. As a result, she accessed the Doctor’s program and copied most of his emotional subroutines into her own program." She gave the Captain an amused look, "She did an excellent job, but it takes a while to get used to having emotions. I am afraid her emotions ran away with her."

Janeway looked to Meloka, "Is this true?"

Meloka nodded her head, lowering it as she did, suddenly ashamed of herself. Ashamed. Another new feeling. All of this was starting to be more that she could deal with.

B’Elanna saw the look on her face and immediately recognized that her program was starting to overload. "Captain," she stepped forward, putting her hand on Meloka’s arm, "I think Meloka and I need to go to engineering and work on her program." When Janeway nodded, B’Elanna said, "Come on, Meloka, I’ll have Tom transfer you to engineering. Just relax, and I’ll take care of you." She led the hologram out of the ready room.

Janeway turned with angry eyes toward her Ensign, "Well, Mr. Kim, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Harry was looking down at his shoes, now realizing that everything had been a huge mistake. He raised his head, "I’m sorry, Captain. I guess this was just a big misunderstanding." He reluctantly looked at the Doctor, "I’m sorry for hitting you. I just thought…."

"I understand, Ensign Kim." 

Harry looked over at Otoro, "I’m sorry, Otoro."

"Apology accepted."

"Well," said the Captain, "if you gentlemen think you can manage to find your way back to your quarters without any further trouble, I will let you go." She started walking toward her desk, then turned quickly back to them, "But, one more incident like tonight and I will throw you all in the brig."

The Doctor noticed Harry holding his arm and walked up to him, "Ensign Kim, are you hurt?"

Harry shook his head, but the Doctor reached down, lifted his hand and his right wrist and scanned it quickly. Looking up at him, he said, "You have a broken bone. I think we need to go to sickbay." He looked at Otoro’s face, "I think I’d better check you also."

"Doctor?" Harry’s voice was tentative.

"Yes?"

"There is something else I should tell you."

"What is that?"

Janeway had walked back over and was listening with interest. Harry cut his eyes at her before turning his attention back to the Doctor. He sighed, "There is someone else who saw you kissing…I mean saw Meloka kissing you."

The Doctor knew immediately who had seen them. "Oh, no. She didn’t." He rolled his eyes upward, a look of pain coming over his face. "How…?"

"Not well, I am afraid."

"Where is she?"

"She’s in my quarters."

The Doctor started to leave the ready room, but Harry called after him, "Doctor, I don’t know if she will see you."

The Doctor just turned and looked at him for a moment, then twisted on his heels and left the ready room. Janeway watched him go, then let out a deep breath of air.

"I’ll have Tom take you both to sickbay and check you out." She stared at the door, shaking her head, "Follow me."

Seven of Nine was pacing around Harry’s living quarters. He had been gone for a long time, and she was starting to get worried about him. Something caught her eye and she looked over at it. It was the picture of the two of them taken at Tom and B’Elanna’s wedding. She picked it up and looked at it. 

His eyes looked so happy. Hers so guarded. His arm was around her. As she stood there, she could feel his arms around her, holding her. Her eyes went to the spot on the floor where they had stood, her needing his comfort and him needing to just hold her. He loved her. She could feel the power of his love for her. She closed her eyes, imagining his comforting her and knew she wanted him with her.

Suddenly, she heard a sound at the door and she ran to it, opening it, expecting it to be Harry. Instead, the Doctor was standing in front of her.

"Hello, Seven." He entered before she could close the door.

"I do not wish to see you."

"We need to talk."

"I do not want to talk to you." Her eyes were flashing her anger at him, and she looked past him toward the empty corridor, "Where is Harry?"

"He is in sickbay." Her look of immediate concern tore through him.

"Is he all right? I should go to him."

"He is fine." He stepped in front of her, and she backed away from him, a look of distrust on her face. He took a deep breath, "Seven, we have to talk to each other."

"No!"

"I know what you saw. It wasn’t what you think. I was not kissing Meloka. She was kissing me."

"What is the difference?"

"The difference is I did not want to kiss her. She took me by surprise." He tried to walk closer to her, but she backed up again, keeping her distance from him. He stopped, "Seven, I love you. I don’t love anyone else."

"Then how could you kiss her?" Her pain was full in her face.

"I’m telling you, I did not kiss her. I would never kiss her."

"I saw how you acted toward her when I was in sickbay with the two of you. You were interested in her."

"I was interested in her as another hologram, not as a love interest. Seven, I could never love anyone else." His look was imploring, his hands held out to her.

"No, you lied to me." Her hand went to her forehead, and she closed her eyes against her pain, "Everything I have been told is a lie."

He stepped up to her, grabbing her arm and forcing her to look at his face, "Don’t you ever doubt my love for you, Seven. I would never lie to you. Our life together is not a lie. Our marriage, our child, our love for each other…the love we had for each other…none of it is a lie." His voice was forceful, his eyes boring into hers.

Her head was starting to pound. He saw her eyes go weak with pain, and he let go of her arm and backed away from her, suddenly sighing and dropping his head.

She stared at him. Her eyes searched his face as her mind searched inwardly. He watched and recognized the look on her face. She was trying desperately to remember. Her face tightened with the pain he knew she was feeling. He felt her body start to tremble with the effort. He felt it all -- her heart starting to race, her breath quicken. He watched as she paled with the effort.

He backed away from her, "No, Seven. Stop." She looked at him and he continued, "Don’t try to remember anymore. It is not worth this pain for you to remember."

"What?"

Suddenly, all of the fight, all of the desire for her to remember their life together left him. He turned from her to gather her thoughts, "All these months, I have only wanted you to remember us. I have tried everything to help you remember. And I know you have tried to remember." He shook his head, "But maybe we both need to accept that you will never remember. Maybe there is nothing for you to remember. It is time to accept that your memories of us, of you and me and Kathryn B’Elanna are gone. Maybe it is time for us to just move on." He gave her a sad look, "Whatever that means."

"I do not understand."

He moved to stand behind the couch, wanting something between them, "What I am saying, Seven, is that it is time to quit putting so much effort into remembering something that isn’t there anymore. It is time to let go. It is time to move forward." His voice was resigned, "Now, it is time for you to just make up your mind what you want. And for all of us to live with that decision." He put his hands down on the back of the sofa, "I will go along with whatever you decide about us. I won’t fight you, Seven." He looked at the picture she still held in her arms, "If you decide you want to be with him, so be it."

She had forgotten she was holding the picture. She glanced down at it, then looked back at him.

"I only ask that you…consider Kathryn B’Elanna. She is your daughter, even if you can’t remember that." He looked down at his hands, "I hope you can learn to love her again." He raised his head to her and gave her a small smile, "If that happens, it will be enough."

They stood, eyes locked, neither speaking. Finally, he dropped his eyes and walked out of the doors without looking back. 

She ordered the computer to activate the security controls to block entrance to the cargo bay. She needed time to think and she didn’t want any visitors. Her thoughts were jumbled and confusing. She paced around the cargo bay, trying desperately to sort out everything that had happened.

More than anything, she wished her head would stop hurting. She looked up at her alcove, feeling both compelled to regenerate and afraid to do so. Finally, she sighed deeply and stepped up on the platform, hesitating before entering and assuming her regeneration position.

Kathryn B’Elanna felt it immediately. Mama was slipping away from her. She stood and looked around. Ketaria was sleeping on the couch. She started to go to her to awaken her, then stopped. Her eyes closed in concentration.

"Help Mama."

She sat on the floor, then laid down, pulling her blanket close to her. Concentrating, she slipped from awareness.

She saw Mama immediately. Mama was in her special bed. Suddenly, she knew Mama was moving away from her. She could feel Mama slipping away faster and faster. 

"Kathryn B’Elanna help Mama."

She did not hesitate. As soon as she touched her mother’s mind, she felt her terror. She stopped, almost turning back, but then, she saw Mama. Monsters surrounded Mama. The monsters were taking Mama away. Mama was fighting, but she was losing. Kathryn B’Elanna could see that Mama was trying to look at something and she turned her head to see what it was. She immediately recognized it as Mama’s memories of Dada. Every time Mama would look in Dada’s direction, one of the monsters would touch her head with something and Mama would jerk as if it hurt her. But Mama kept trying to look.

Kathryn B’Elanna frowned. Breathing quickly, she moved forward, watching the monsters carefully. They were awful. They had strange things attached to their bodies and parts of them flashed. They had things instead of hands and things instead of eyes. She looked up and realized one was moving toward her.

She used her mind to talk to it, "No! Go way!"

The monster turned from her immediately and left. She watched, surprised. She could tell the monsters what to do. She moved faster toward Mama.

As each monster came toward her, she sent it away. She worked her way closer to Mama. Suddenly, Mama saw her. She watched as Mama’s face took on a look of horror and Mama’s hand reached out to her. She saw Mama fight harder against the monsters.

"No, Kathryn B’Elanna. Go back. Please, do no come any closer. Go back." She watched as Mama turned toward another figure, "Please, do not hurt her. Please, do not hurt my child! I will do anything."

Kathryn B’Elanna watched as Mama quit fighting and let the monsters take control of her. Then, she saw a monster touch something to Mama’s head again and Mama drop to her knees. Kathryn B’Elanna used her mind to turn the monster away from Mama and to touch its own head with the thing it had been using on Mama. The monster fell.

Then, everything stopped. The figure from the side moved through the crowd of monsters and stopped in front of her.

"Hello, Kathryn B’Elanna."

"Hurt Mama."

"No, Kathryn B’Elanna, we do not want to hurt your mother. We are trying to help her understand that she should not fight us. She should help us."

The figure moved toward her, putting out a hand to her. Kathryn B’Elanna stopped it. Surprised eyes looked down at the child, blinking quickly. Just as quickly, the surprised look went away and the eyes narrowed, "You should help us also, Kathryn B’Elanna."

"No. You hurt Mama."

She leveled her gaze at the figure in front of her and watched as the eyes widened again and the figure backed up. She could control this monster, also. The monster knew it. The eyes of the monster showed its fear. 

Kathryn B’Elanna moved forward. "Go way. No hurt Mama."

The monster tried again, "Kathryn B’Elanna, help us. If you help us, you can help your mother. You will both be happier with us than here."

Kathryn B’Elanna was looking past the figure at Mama. Mama was trying to rise to her feet, her eyes locked on the figure in front of her child, a determined look on her face. She heard Mama speak, her voice angry.

"I will never let you have her. Leave her and I will go with you willingly." She left the rest unsaid.

The figure turned toward Mama, "That, Seven of Nine, is a wise decision." The eyes turned back to the child, "You see, Kathryn B’Elanna, your mother wants to go with us."

Mama looked at her, "Go back, Kathryn B’Elanna. Go back to Dada. It will be all right." Her voice was imploring, desperate, "Mama loves you. Always know that Mama loves you and Mama loves Dada. Tell Dada that Mama loves him. Please go back and tell him that. Please go, Kathryn B’Elanna. Please. Go!"

She felt her mother’s anguish. She turned her head toward the smiling figure in front of her, watching as the black eyes leveled their gaze at her, blinking slowly. It spoke to her, "You should go, Kathryn B’Elanna."

"No." Her small voice was calm. She concentrated, reaching out to touch the mind of the figure in front of her. She touched something, suddenly knowing the thing’s mind was far, far away. She smiled, now knowing how it was here. How the other monsters were here. She clapped her hands, laughter appearing on her face. "You go." 

She went deeper into herself, allowing the code around her to clarify. With a single thought, she deleted it and the thing and the monsters left.

Mama stood, looking around her, surprised. Then, she smiled at Kathryn B’Elanna and started to walk toward her. She kneeled down in front of the child, who was clapping her hands in excitement.

"How did you do that, Kathryn B’Elanna?" 

Mama was back. She could see the look in her face. This was Mama. She reached out to touch her mind, laughing.

Thousands of light years away, the black eyes glared in anger, then looked up. "Destroy the implant. Then, terminate the link."