Copyright 2000, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

B’Elanna Torres-Paris was crying. Tears were running down her face, but she did nothing to stop them. Seven’s hand was tightly gripping hers. When she glanced up at her face, she saw that Seven’s face was slack and expressionless, her eyes blank, staring forward, locked on the visions in front of them. 

The corridor had turned into a collage of shapes and forms, moving in front of them, recreating Seven’s memories. As they watched, the corridor seemed to split and two distinct pictures formed, running side by side. To their left were Seven’s parents and Annika Hansen; to their right was Seven as she lived her life on Voyager.

Annika Hansen asked her father, "Are we going to see the Borg?"

"If we’re lucky," he replied.

"Are they friendly?"

"They are…different. …But we’re hoping that we can make friends one day."

"I hope so, too."

To the right, the Captain, Kahkar and Ketaria was sitting in their quarters with the Doctor and Seven. B’Elanna realized this was the first time Seven had projected herself into the scene. She felt Seven tense beside her. Before she could say anything, the Captain spoke.

"There is a home waiting on you and your family on Earth. Seven, you will be safe. Your family will be safe…I have never lied to you, Seven, and I am not lying to you now. You will be safe when we get to Earth. You have my word."

On the left, Annika Hansen asked her father, "Will it hurt to be a drone?"

The scenes shifted, and Annika was running through the ship, being chased by drones. She hid under the helm controls of the ship, crawling back to hide, but the drones found her and pulled her out.

The Doctor and Seven were walking out of the docking bridge, hand in hand, Kathryn B’Elanna held in the Doctor’s right arm. As they moved forward, guards advanced, their weapons leveled at Seven. As one guard brushed the Doctor’s arm, he dematerialized and Kathryn B’Elanna fell, then screamed. When Seven started to fight to get to her, the guards fought back, overpowering her.

Annika watched as her parents were assimilated. Then, one of the drones picked her up and placed her on a table. She was crying.

The guard handled Seven roughly, dragging her over the raised opening of the brig. Her restraints made it difficult for her to move. He pushed her toward the alcove, pulling her roughly up on to the platform of the alcove. Then, he moved to stand close to her, his hand on her face, tracing a finger down her cheek and throat.

Annika watched the drone that was back against the wall. Two drones were holding her down, one on either side of her. As the drone with its back to the wall moved, its arm lowered, and she saw it coming toward her. She screamed, "Mommy!"

The guard fingered the zipper on Seven’s prison uniform. Seven closed her eyes, her chin lifting slightly in the air as she did.

A drill on the drone’s arm started to spin.

The zipper was pulled down.

The sound of the drill/zipper exploded in the corridor. B’Elanna grimaced against the sound, but Seven barely reacted. Lonely Light staggered, but recovered quickly. B’Elanna shook her head, trying to clear it and looked back at the scenes that were blurring, changing and clearing in front of her.

Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix One was standing at a workstation. She lifted her head, cocking it to one side, listening. Then, she straightened, her eyes indicating acceptance. She turned to another console and executed the command she had been given.

Seven stood in the brig, manacled, her eyes close, her head turned. After a moment, a male voice filled the corridor, "Your thoughts are my thoughts, Seven of Nine." Her head lowered.

Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix One was at the head of a table in an assimilation chamber. A body lay on the table in front of her. "Species four oh eight one." She looked at the drones surrounding the table, "Begin assimilation." The drones moved in, and Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix One picked up a tool and started to work on the victim’s head.

Seven held Kathryn B’Elanna’s unconscious form in her arms and strapped the two of them in the pilot chair of the small shuttle. She pulled her child closer to her and watched the sun loom larger in the window before her. 

B’Elanna heard a low groan and realized it came from beside her. She turned in time to see Seven dropping to her knees.

"Noooo." Her head was down, "What I did. What I did."

B’Elanna’s head moved back and forth between the scenes in front of her and the woman crying on the deck next to her. Suddenly, it connected, and she raised her free hand to her head staring at the scenes. She dropped down beside Seven, wrapping her in her arms.

"No, Seven. It wasn’t like that. You were not taking over her life, you were trying to protect her." She threw Lonely Light a helpless look, and the Eightfour looked down on Seven, her sadness clear in her eyes. B’Elanna felt her thoughts enter her mind.

"Your experience on Earth mirrored your experience with the Borg, but you broke away. Your actions toward your daughter were a desperate act of love. You would not have taken her into harms way if you thought you had any other choice."

"I made her choice for her. I would have ended her life."

"But it was not a selfish act." There was silence a moment, then the thoughts came again. "You were not acting as your parents acted, Seven. You were fighting for her humanity, not putting it at risk. You would not allow her to become a subservient drone. There is a big difference between what your parents did to you, and what you did to Kathryn B’Elanna."

Seven’s hands were wrapped in her hair, pulling at it. B’Elanna pulled her tight, "Seven…." Her voice trailed off as she looked at the two scenes still playing out in front of her. There was more. She knew there was more, but she could not sort it out. She closed her eyes, trying to allow everything she was seeing process through her mind. She looked up, concentrating on the scene of Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix One, assimilating the victim on the table. Something caught her eye, and she slowly stood and walked up to the drone involved in the process of assimilating her victim. Hesitantly, she moved to stand close to the figure, working to get close enough to look at the face. She studied it carefully, then caught her breath and backed up. She looked at Seven, her eyes widening in shock as she did. Seven saw the look, and her face crumpled, and her body slumped to lie on the deck, sobs overtaking her. B’Elanna stood a moment, not certain what to do. In jerky, uncertain movements, she crossed the distance between them, finally kneeling down in front of Seven.

"Seven. Look at me." She reached down and cupped Seven’s chin in her hand, pulling her head up to try to look her in the eyes. She stared into Seven’s face and spoke, her voice a whisper, "You knew." Seven cut her eyes to B’Elanna, but did not reply. B’Elanna tried again, "You were aware."

Seven’s response was low and guttural, "Yes. Yes, I was."

"You knew what you were doing to them."

Seven nodded, her face now in her hands, her tears pouring through her fingers.

B’Elanna looked at Lonely Light and shook her head. She dropped her head back down to Seven and spoke, "Seven, you were aware of what you were doing, but you were still controlled by the collective. You could not do anything about what you did. It wasn’t your fault."

"But I was there."

"You were there, but you could not control what happened. You were aware, but you were not in control. The Borg controlled your actions. They did not control all of you. You functioned as a Borg, but you were still human." She reached down to stroke Seven’s hair, "That must have been torture for you."

Seven jerked away from her, "No. Don’t touch me. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to live." She scrambled away from them, pulling her body into a ball. 

B’Elanna started to move toward her, when she felt Lonely Light in her mind, stopping her, "Look behind you."

B’Elanna turned and a vision of the Doctor and Kathryn B’Elanna appeared in front of the dual scenes of Seven’s life. They stood, watching the scenes as they played, over and over. The Doctor slowly walked over to Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One and watched as she worked. He moved so he could face her, then stood still, studying her. 

Kathryn B’Elanna had her arm wrapped around her father’s neck and her eyes locked on the face of the drone.

B’Elanna stood, staring at their faces. It took her a moment to find her voice, "Doctor?"

Seven’s head jerked up, her eyes searching in front of her. As soon as she saw the Doctor, she screamed, "NO!" Crying harder, she scrambled to her feet and ran to stand on the opposite side of the table from where the Doctor and Kathryn B’Elanna were standing. "No. Don’t look! Don’t see me! Don’t see what I did. Who I was. Who I am." Her voice dissolved into sobs.

The Doctor’s eyes were locked on the face of Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One. Slowly he turned to look at his wife, "Do you really think this would have made me love you less? Do you really think this was you? Seven, this was a part of your life that you had no control over." He looked sadly at Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One as she continued to work, "How did you ever survive this?" 

Seven stood, her eyes locked on his face, trying to form a response to his question. Finally, she said, "I hid."

He nodded and gave her a small smile, "I understand." He watched the drone for a moment, then looked back at his wife, "I would have tried to do the same thing."

Her body started to shake, and her head lowered. It took her a moment to work up the courage, but finally, she raised her head and looked into the eyes of her daughter.

Kathryn B’Elanna was staring at the face of the drone, her face expressionless. As soon as she felt her mother’s eyes on her, she turned her head toward her, studying her face. Then, her face broke into a smile, "Good Mama." She leaned her head against her father’s neck, "Love Mama."

The Doctor spoke, "We are waiting for you, Seven. We hope you come home soon. We love you."

They faded out of sight. Seven stood still, her eyes locked on the place where they had been. Finally, she turned to look into the face of Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One. She moved closer and leaned her head toward the face. For the briefest of moments, their eyes locked, and she saw herself inside them, hiding. Stumbling, she moved to look into the eyes of Seven as she faced the growing sun. Immediately, she found herself inside, hiding.

Groaning, she turned and sank to the floor.

B’Elanna slowly walked toward her, not certain what to expect. She dropped to the floor, "Seven, look at me." When Seven did not respond, she gently reached out to her face and pulled it up, "Seven, it’s over. You know now. We know now. It’s okay. It’s over."

"I was weak. I should have been able to resist."

"Could you have resisted breathing? What you did was a natural part of your existence as a Borg. How could you have resisted? And, if you had, they would have killed you."

"I would have been better off dead."

"Maybe. I don’t think I could disagree with you on that. Death would have been a better choice. But you weren’t even able to make that choice for yourself. What makes you think you could have chosen anything else?" She moved her hand to rest it against her cheek, "Seven, it wasn’t your fault. It was never who you were. I saw the look in her eyes. Even as a drone, you tried to save the real Annika. You tried to save her the same way you tried to save Kathryn B’Elanna. You did your best, Seven. You tried. There is honor is trying. That you could not do anything to change it was not a failing. It was not a weakness. You tried." She took a deep breath, "You tried too hard to save your humanity. Don’t give up on it now."

Seven’s eyes moved from B’Elanna’s to the scenes in front of her. As she watched, B’Elanna moved carefully to sit beside Seven and reached out to put one arm around her shoulders. When Seven turned to her, B’Elanna pulled lightly, and Seven allowed her to pull her into an embrace. She sat with her arms wrapped tightly around Seven, feeling that the fight had gone out of the woman.

"It’s all right, Seven. Everything will be all right. And, when you are ready, we will go home. Your family is waiting on you."

She waited on Seven’s response, still not quite certain what to expect. Finally, she felt Seven’s arms go around her body and felt the tentative hug. Relieved, she looked up at Lonely Light and smiled.

The Eightfour’s face crinkled in response.

Kathryn felt the child in her lap stir. She tried to recover in preparation. While she had not been able to go with Kathryn B’Elanna to that place she went, bits and pieces of what the child had seen had flowed through her mind. What she had seen had been disjointed, but they had still been vivid and real enough to rattle her.

"What in the world have I done?"

As soon as she finished speaking, the child moved out of her lap and sat facing her. Kathryn waited.

After what seemed a lifetime, Kathryn B’Elanna looked up at her. Kathryn watched her face work and held her breath. Finally, Kathryn B’Elanna sighed and raised her chin, cocking her head slightly to the right and spoke, almost matter of factly, "Borg broke Mama."

Kathryn did not speak. She did not know what to say. As she watched, Kathryn B’Elanna raised her clenched hand and looked at it calmly. Then, she turned her head to focus on a spot in the middle of the room. She turned her gaze back at her hand, opened it and allowed the implant to roll out of her hand and onto the bed. She crawled to the end of the bed and slid off, standing and waiting.

Kathryn watched her, wondering what she was doing. Suddenly, she looked back at the implant on the bed and reached for it, raising it so she could look at it better. Catching her breath, she realized it was now a melted slag of metal.

As she was staring at it, blue lights appeared in her quarters, and the Doctor materialized in front of her.

"Dada!" Kathryn B’Elanna already had her arms raised to him.

"Kathryn B’Elanna." He reached to grab her and hold her close. After a moment, he looked at Kathryn.

She could barely bring herself to face him. She had been wrong, and she knew it. As he walked toward her, she slid off the bed, preparing herself to accept whatever he had to say to her. She deserved it.

He stared at her a long time. Finally, he said, "It was not your place."

She nodded her head in agreement.

Then, he added, "But, thank you." As her eyes widened in surprise, he backed up, "Computer, transport EMH and Kathryn B’Elanna to our quarters."

She stood, her mouth open in shock, not believing what he had said. ‘…thank you.’ He had thanked her. What happened?

She looked at the melted slag that had been a Borg implant. All she could do was hope.

They were walking the way they had come. Suddenly, Seven stopped and turned around.

"There is something else I must see."

Images appeared before them. The first to clear was Seven facing three figures that were coming into focus in front of her. B’Elanna immediately recognized Motalli and the Doctor. Then, she saw the third figure was Axum.

Confused, she watched as the Seven in the scene moved to stand in front of each man. As soon as she understood what Seven was doing, she turned to watch the face of her friend as her image faced each figure.

Axum looked down on her, and Seven became Annika Hansen. With him, she was free of the Borg and living in a world constantly haunted by the reality outside, but basking in the warmth of their freedom and love for each other. She was soft and gentle and fully human.

She moved to stand in front of Motalli, and he grinned at her. She became Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One. To him, she was proof that it was possible to form a deep and even loving relationship with the Borg and not be assimilated by them. 

Hesitantly, she walked over to the Doctor and slowly raised her head to look into his face. She did not change.

Seven left B’Elanna and Lonely Light to stand close to the figures staring at each other. She circled around them, looking into their faces, trying to read their reactions. With him, she realized, she was who she was. He loved her, regardless. She watched his face as he gazed into the eyes of the figure of herself, and she only saw deep love and total acceptance. She looked into her own eyes and saw a guarded love. Even now, she realized, this person was still hiding.

But there was nothing to hide from anymore.

Slowly, she backed away. She stood, her back straight and her hands clasped behind her back. Finally, she turned to her companions.

"It is time to go home."

The Sage reached for Ketaria’s hand. The smaller woman had tears in her eyes.

"Your daughter comes home."

Ketaria nodded, but could not speak.

"Your husband would like to know. Should we tell him?"

Once again, Ketaria nodded.

Kahkar stood at the observation window and stared out at the scene in front of him. Not for the first time, he looked in appreciation at the beauty of fluidic space. Then, he started his silent thanks to the God of Science and Truth.

The Doctor and Kathryn B’Elanna were curled up in the bed. They were sound asleep, but both knew Mama would be home soon.

Seven was in the chair again as the Eightfours worked to disconnect her thoughts from the ship. This time, she sat quietly. As soon as the process was finished, she stood and turned to face Lonely Light.

"I wish to know why."

The face crinkled. Her thoughts entered everyone’s mind, "I think you know the answer to that."

Seven put her hands behind her back and took a deep breath, "You are his daughter."

"Yes, I am."

B’Elanna looked at them, confused. "Wait a minute. What are you two talking about?"

But they did not look at her. Lonely Light continued to send her thoughts, "It is where my name comes from. The last thing he saw was a single light he could see from the ship he was on. It was a reflection of Voyager, alone in space. He sent his thoughts of it before he died."

"Why would you have risked your life for me after what I did to him?"

"Because he did not blame you, but he knew you would blame yourself. He knew you were damaged. He did not want me to damage you further by hating you."

B’Elanna finally understood, "Oh, my God. The Eightfour who was trying to escape the Hirogen! You are his daughter?"

Lonely Light nodded her head, "Yes." She concentrated on Seven, "He knew you were still acting as a Borg, not as yourself. He could feel you hiding. He felt…great compassion for you."

Seven’s voice was choked, "And I killed him."

"He would have died anyway. He knew that. He was sorry that his death would cause you more pain because he knew you would not understand."

Seven lowered her head, tears starting to fall.

Lonely Light reached to take her face in her long fingers and stoked it gently, "You did his memory great honor by what you did here today. This was your journey. His death was his journey. Where your journeys crossed, they gave the other a certain strength. Take that with you. It should make you stronger, not diminish you."

Seven gave her a slight nod and an uncertain smile. Then, she turned away and looked at nothing, keeping her thoughts to herself.

Kathryn stood beside Kahkar and Tom in the transporter room. Harry was manning the transporter controls, Supala standing nervously beside him. As soon as four blue beams of light appeared, she looked up at Kahkar with fear in her eyes. 

Harry’s voice rang out behind them, "Seven has transported directly to her quarters."

Kathryn sighed in relief, now understanding why the Doctor and Kathryn B’Elanna were not with them. She turned her attention to the forms that had solidified and now were moving from the platform.

B’Elanna ran to hug Tom, immediately reaching for her son, who started gurgling as soon as she pulled him into her arms. Tom reached down for her face, lifting it to him, "B’Elanna! What in the world happened?"

For the first time, Kathryn noticed the blood thick down the side of B’Elanna’s face and her two, very black eyes. Before she could say anything, B’Elanna responded to her husband.

"Oh, it’s nothing. I sort of ran into Seven’s fist. Don’t worry, she’s fine." She leaned over and kissed her son, jerking her head out of his way as he waved his small fist at her face. "Not you, too, son. I’ve had enough of that for one day." She laughed, leaning her head against her husband’s chest.

Kahkar pulled himself away from an embrace with his wife and turned B’Elanna around so he could look at her. Drawing his medical tricorder from his belt, he scanned her and frowned, "Your nose is broken. I think we should attend to it right away."

"I’ll be fi…."

"No, you will listen to him," Tom interrupted her.

She looked up at him, a grin coming over her face, "Yes, sir." She leaned over her son, "I just love it when your daddy talks rough like that." Laughing, she raised her head to Kahkar, "I’m ready when you are."

When they started for the door, Ketaria glanced back at the Eightfours before speaking in Kathryn’s direction, "I will go with them." She started for the door, then stopped at her side, touching her arm, "Seven really is all right. We will talk later."

Kathryn nodded at her and watched Harry and Supala follow Ketaria out of the transporter room. Putting her hands on her hips, she tossed a look toward The Sage. "I think, for some reason, I was supposed to stay here."

The Sage’s face crinkled, and the head motioned up and down. She moved into position in front of Kathryn and lowered herself to the floor. Kathryn felt her thoughts immediately.

"I have lived through and observed many events in the skies. I have learned there is a cause and effect in the universe and events we are part of but do not understand often have meanings that sometimes come clear to use and sometimes outlive us. We are not always given the wisdom of our actions, but we must understand our actions are the cause and necessary to the effect.

"Do not berate yourself for actions of good meaning and bad effect. They are not always the bad effect we believe them to be. 

"The universe is ultimately kind, even when it is cruel. Learn to trust the kindness. You must also learn to trust the cruelty. It has its place. It is as necessary as the good.

"The child needs your guidance as much as she needs her mother’s, her father’s, B’Elanna’s and the Gentle One’s. Your gifts can only be shared by you, and they are critical to her. Do not fear her or what you think you have done to her. 

"There are forces in the universe that balance each other. That is often a good thing. It is your job to learn to trust those forces.

"You are a woman of great belief for what you chose to believe in. Our world is conducive to thought and introspection. I hope you will embark on such a journey here. You may find it will serve you on the journey you have yet to come."

Kathryn Janeway stood silent, the thoughts of The Sage filling her. She knew, even as she heard the words in her mind, she would carry them in her heart for the rest of her life. 

They were about to turn when Lonely Light stepped forward to speak to her, "You are a being of great compassion. You treated my father with kindness when you were right to have only fear of him. I want you to know he appreciated what you tried to do for him."

Kathryn looked at her in confusion, then her mouth dropped open. She managed to whisper, "He was your father?"

The head moved up and down. Lonely Light reached up to touch her face, gently caressing it, "May you find, in your final light, the peace, love and acceptance he found in his."

They turned from her and, for the first time, she noticed how frail The Sage was, her movements graceful, but slow and obviously aged. Lonely Light reached out, taking her hand, helping her onto the transporter platform. Reluctantly, Kathryn moved to the transported control and, at the look of approval she received from The Sage, transported them back to their ship.

She stood at the controls for a long time, thinking.

As soon as she solidified in her quarters, she saw them standing in front of her. The three of them stared at each other. Finally, she walked up to them. Neither made a move toward her. The Doctor was holding Kathryn B’Elanna in his right arm, and she had her arms wrapped around his neck. Tentatively, Seven reached up with her finger, tracing the lines in his face.

"Have I ever told you I love the lines in your face?"

"Not in those words."

She hesitated, "There are many things I have never told you."

He caught her hand in his and lifted it to his mouth, gently kissing her fingers, "It isn’t important."

Kathryn B’Elanna reached out and put her finger on the implant over her mother’s eye, moving her finger back and forth. Then, she dropped her hand to pat her cheek, smiling at her while she did.

Smiling back at her daughter, she said, "No. It isn’t important."

B’Elanna looked down at her son sleeping in his crib. Smiling, she glanced over at her mother standing beside her. Impetuously, she leaned over and kissed her mother on the cheek.

Surprised, Miral asked, "What was that for?"

"That," said her daughter, "was for being the best mother you knew how to be."

For the first time in her life, Miral looked flustered, and B’Elanna saw tears spring to her eyes. Fighting for composure, she said, "Go to your husband. You have been away long enough. I will watch your son."

B’Elanna nodded and moved out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She crossed the room and almost threw herself on top of Tom as he lay on the sofa, kissing him passionately.

"Well," he drew a deep breath, stroking her hair, "welcome home."

"I’m glad to be home." She leaned over and pecked him on the lips, "So, I want to hear some more of that rough talk."

He grinned and pulled her closer.

Kahkar watched as Ketaria pulled back the covers and got into bed, snuggling close to him as she did. 

"Dinner was fun tonight."

"Yes. We have an interesting family."

"Yes," she laughed. "We certainly do."

"What did you think about Harry and Supala?"

"The light around them is strong. I think their love is pure."

"I guess I am happy about that."

She threw her arm across his stomach, "Someone has been enjoying Supala’s cooking too much."

"Ah, yes. I guess exercise is increased tomorrow."

"I think so." She sighed, "I think you should invite Chakotay to exercise with you."

"Do you think he is enjoying the cooking too much, also?"

"Not really."

He looked down at the top of her head, "So why does he need to exercise with me?" When she did not respond, he thought a moment, then laughed lightly, "Oh, I see. There is a light around him also."

"The beginnings of light. They will have to let their light grow on both of them. They have spent too many years denying it for it to grow quickly. But, it is growing."

"It will be good."

"Yes, I believe it will be."

"Ketaria?"

She heard it in his voice and raised her head to look at him.

"Is she well?"

"I think so, Kahkar. I think she has finally faced her demons. It is not that she will never have to deal with them again, but they will no longer control her. I think Seven is finally in control of herself."

"And she has all of her memories back?"

"Yes. I suspect she had them all along. It was just that it was easier for her to lose them than to deal with what they meant for her."

"I never imagined."

"Neither did I." She sighed, "The mind is a marvelous thing. The more I learn about its workings, the smaller I feel."

"You are small enough, Ketaria. Do not disappear on me completely."

"Oh!" She raised up and looked at him, playfully slapping him on the stomach. He laughed at her and pulled her closer, kissing her tenderly.

Kathryn rolled over in her bed and was suddenly aware of someone in room. Opening her eyes, she saw bright eyes staring back at her. Jerking, she immediately sat up, her hand over her heart.

"Kathryn B’Elanna! I am going to have to teach you how to knock!"

"Aunt Katryn mad?"

She forced herself to calm down before lifting the child up on the bed with her, "No, Aunt Kathryn is not mad. Just startled." She moved to face the child, "You scared me!"

"I sorry." The face was pouting.

Kathryn leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "It’s okay. Don’t get upset." She looked at the chronometer, realizing it was the middle of the night, "Why are you here? Is something wrong?"

Kathryn B’Elanna slid of the bed and went to stand beside the replicator, "Aunt Katryn, Kathryn B’Elanna fix? Get good coffee?"

Kathryn moved from the bed and squatted beside the child, "Can you fix the replicator?"

Kathryn B’Elanna nodded, her finger in her mouth, her eyes suddenly fearful.

Kathryn looked at the replicator, then back to Kathryn B’Elanna, "If you can fix the replicator, I would love it. Yes, Kathryn B’Elanna, please fix the replicator."

Kathryn B’Elanna reached out to touch the replicator. Before she did anything, she looked to Kathryn, the question in her eyes. Kathryn nodded approvingly at her, and she concentrated. Her eyes closed, and her head moved from side to side. Finally, she dropped her hand. Sighing, she stepped back and said, "All better now."

Kathryn stood and gave the order, "Coffee. Black." She watched as a mug of coffee appeared, steam rolling from it. The aroma filled her nose. She reached and lifted it, waving the mug under her nose, relishing the smell before taking the first tentative sip.

"Oh, Kathryn B’Elanna! This is wonderful." She kneeled back down to the child, "This is the best coffee Aunt Kathryn has ever had!" She kissed her on the cheek, "Thank you so much."

Kathryn B’Elanna gave her a serious look, "Kathryn B’Elanna only fix when you say okay."

"Good girl." She took her hand and led her back to the bed. Putting down her mug, she lifted the child to sit her on the bed, then kneeled down in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Kathryn B’Elanna, promise me something."

The child watched her face.

"Kathryn B’Elanna will not fix the Borg."

The face immediately frowned, and Kathryn B’Elanna pulled back slightly.

"No." Kathryn grabbed her hands, "Promise me. No fix Borg."

The small lips tightened, and Kathryn saw she was unhappy.

"No fix Borg, Kathryn B’Elanna."

She finally let out her breath, "Me no fix Borg."

"Good girl." She moved the child back in the bed and crawled in beside her. Picking up her cup of coffee, she settled back, "Kathryn B’Elanna, I want for you to just be a child for a while. Don’t grow up too fast."

"Gwow up?" The child looked up at her, puzzled.

Kathryn laughed, "Kathryn B’Elanna stay little."

"No. Kathryn B’Elanna get big." She raised her arm high. "Kathryn B’Elanna get big like Mama."

"Oh, you will one day." She pulled the child close to her, "And that day will come all too soon. But, right now, I think we should have a Flotter story."

Kathryn B’Elanna leaned against her, "Flotter Goes Fishing."

"Okay." Kathryn put down her cup of coffee and picked up a PADD, "I just happen to have that one right here." She accessed the file and started to read.

They were lying wrapped in each other, arms and legs intertwined. He was snoring; she was wide-awake. Every where her skin touched his, she tingled with the contact. She had never felt this before. She had never let herself.

Even their special connection felt nothing like this felt. There was completeness to her now. 

She gazed at the lines in his face and allowed her eyes to wander down his throat to his chest, seeing for the first time, how the hair on his chest curled, thinking about how it brushed her when he held her close. If she touched him right now, his skin would be warm beneath her fingers. She would be able to feel a muscle structure underneath. She would even be able to feel a pulse flow through him.

He was real. Real to her in every way.

He moved his hand slightly, and it gently touched her back, sending an electricity through her that almost caused her to gasp. She had never imagined that true intimacy would ever feel like this.

True intimacy. The phrase was more than just words to her now. It was the feeling of being whole with another being, of being whole with yourself and sharing that with another being. It was more than just being physically close, more than intimate relations. It was baring your soul, of knowing your soul, of allowing that other being to know everything of you there was to know, and it being…acceptable. 

She marveled that that was the truth of love. She had loved without loving. She had not been able to love herself, and that had stopped her from loving anyone else. But he had never given up on her, even when she had given up on herself.

She sighed and moved her head to rest on his shoulder. He rolled his head against hers, but did not wake. She waited, wondering if she was disappointed, then realized she wasn’t. She looked down at her hand resting on his stomach, realizing that her skin was pale against his. In some ways, they were total opposites – he outgoing and enthusiastic, she reserved and guarded. So different and yet, so much alike.

They fit. She knew that now. Even more importantly, she fit. She thought back to her parents, wondering what they would say to her if they were here today. Would they be sorry? She realized it did not matter. They did what they did. She did what she did. 

Cause and effect.

It was something The Sage had shared with her as they were returning to Voyager. Everything had a cause and effect, and it was important to respect the necessity of each.

Her mind wandered to the queen. For the first time, she felt a sadness fill her. Who had the queen been before the Borg? Would the queen regain her former self if she could? It was a question to which she did not think she would ever know the answer.

She raised her eyes to look at his face, smiling at the lines. Sighing, she closed her eyes and hunted again for darkness, this time, the comforting darkness of peaceful sleep.