Copyright 2001, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

Chakotay walked into engineering and laughed at the picture in front of him. Kathryn and Kathryn B’Elanna were on their knees on the floor, heads bent over pieces scattered between them.

"Are you two having fun?"

They turned to look at him simultaneously. Kathryn gave him a big grin, "Chakotay! Yes, we are having a wonderful time. Aren’t we, Kathryn B’Elanna?"

"Look. It broken." She stood and pointed to the parts at her feet.

"So I see." He put his hands on his hips and looked down at the pieces on the floor, "What is it? Rather, what was it?"

"Well, it was a plasma injector. Now, it is a mass of pieces that I am trying to figure out how to put back together." She sat down on the deck and picked up a piece, "But it may be a total loss."

"Have you thought about letting your little helper try?"

She shook her head, "She won’t do anything. I’ve actually tried to get her to fix a few things, but she gets upset if I even suggest her doing so."

"I guess she picked up on the fact that you got upset yesterday."

"Oh, I’ll say." Kathryn looked over at the child who was organizing the pieces on the floor in some kind of meaningful order, "She came to me in the middle of the night last night to tell me she was a good girl."

"She came to you?" When Kathryn nodded, he continued, "Exactly what do you mean when you say that?"

"I mean she showed up in my quarters in the middle of the night."

"How did she get there?"

She gave him a knowing look, "I’m not sure."

He hesitated, "She got from her quarters to yours by herself?"

She nodded at him.

"Two doors and a turbolift?"

She nodded again.

"Wow. That is impressive." He sat down on the floor, resting his arms on his knees and watched the child for a moment. "She wanted to tell you that she was a good girl?"

She nodded once again, smiling at the look on his face. "I have to tell you, she scared me to death." Sighing, she said, "She was so upset that I thought she was bad. It was heartbreaking." Sitting quiet for a minute, she leaned forward to rest her head on her arms that were crossed on her knees, "You were right, Chakotay. I was never scared of her mother. And I had more reason to be afraid of her than of this child. This child means no one any harm. Seven would have turned us over to the Borg if she had had the chance. Why have I been so afraid of Kathryn B’Elanna when I wasn’t of Seven?"

"Have you ever thought that what you saw in Seven was a human being inside a Borg that you wanted to free?" When she looked up at him with a question in her eyes, he continued, "And in Kathryn B’Elanna, you can only see a Borg inside a human being that you are afraid will one day be free?"

She gave him a blank look and opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

He leaned into her, "Kathryn, Seven never had a choice about becoming Borg. Kathryn B’Elanna may one day have to deal with the decision to accept the Borg in her, just like Seven had to make the decision to accept her humanity." He turned to look at Kathryn B’Elanna, "That may be a reality for her, but it isn’t a reason to fear her. It does make it more important than ever to raise her with love. It was love that enabled Seven to accept her humanity. It will be love that helps Kathryn B’Elanna deal with the Borg in her.

She raised her eyes, shaking her head. Reaching out, she gently took his hand, "Chakotay, I do not know what I would ever do without you and your grounding." She rubbed her finger across the back of his thumb, "I don’t think I would want to try."

The Doctor sat in his chair, holding an object in his hands. It was a Borg implant he had removed from Seven when she had first come on Voyager. Gripping it tightly in his hands, he concentrated.

Seven, I love you. Please, hear me. I love you, and I want you to come home.

B’Elanna watched the darkness inch slower. Suddenly, she noticed it stopped and she saw that Seven had raised her head and was moving it slowly from side to side as if listening to something. Without looking at Lonely Light, she crossed to stand in front of Seven.

Seven’s eyes were darting and her forehead furrowed in concentration. Her eyes squinted shut, and she whispered, "Doctor?"

B’Elanna barely heard it, but she did not hesitate, "Yes, Seven. The Doctor loves you. He wants you to come back to him."

The eyes slowly settled on her, and B’Elanna watched as they became guarded, then raised to look back to the darkness. Shaking her head, Seven started to move past her. Without thinking, B’Elanna reached up to grab her by the shoulders, "Seven, stop!"

Seven jerked her head to look at B’Elanna, anger coming into her eyes. Before she could react, B’Elanna spoke, "Seven, listen to me. Please, give me a minute." She held her breath, watching the internal battle being waged inside Seven. "All I am asking for is a minute. One minute."

Seven shook her shoulders and backed away before giving her a slight nod of her head. 

B’Elanna dropped her hands to her side and took a breath, never taking her eyes off of Seven’s face, "Seven, think about what you are doing. Think about what you are giving up. If you give in to this, it means you will have lost everything. You will have lost your child, your husband, yourself. You have never let anything stop you from reaching forward. Why are you doing it now?

"You had awful experiences on the space station. I know you felt alone and betrayed, but you know you weren’t. You know everyone was fighting for you. You know that Kahkar and Kathryn were trying to get you to safety. You know that.

"Seven, what Alta Ro’bara and that guard did to you was terrible, but it cannot have driven you to this." She moved to stand closer to Seven, seeing the indecision growing in her eyes, "Talk to me, Seven. Tell me what is so awful that you would chose this darkness over your family."

She watched as Seven’s face contorted with emotion and saw some of the Borg implants start to blink out on her face. She started to breath a sigh of relief, thinking she had managed to get through to her when Seven started to shake her head, "No. No." 

Seven moved to step around B’Elanna again, but she quickly blocked her path, "Why not, Seven? Why won’t you talk to me?"

Seven reached out and pushed her roughly out of the way, "No. I will not talk to you."

B’Elanna stumbled back, then recovered, her face reflecting her growing anger, "No. I won’t let you go that easily." She stepped back into Seven’s path.

"Move." 

Seven tried to brush her aside again, but B’Elanna was ready for her. Blocking Seven’s arm with her own, B’Elanna then reached out with both hands and pushed out at Seven’s shoulders, shoving her back.

"No, Seven. If you want to get past me, you are going to have to fight your way past me."

Seven glared at her, but did not move, "This is my choice."

"I agree. But first, you must make the choice to fight your way past me or not." She reached out and shoved Seven again. "Come on, Seven, where’s the fight in you?"

"I do not wish to fight you."

"You just aren’t a fighter, are you?" She shoved her again, "You didn’t fight the Borg. You didn’t really fight the Captain when she separated you from the collective. You didn’t even fight Alta Ro’bara after he had stolen your daughter, did you?" She shoved again. "You’ve always let everyone else do your fighting for you, haven’t you, Seven? You’ve always picked the easy way out." She reached out and shoved again. "‘I must comply.’ Isn’t’ that your motto, Seven? I will do as ordered. I am Borg." She shoved, "So much for being an individual." She shoved harder, "So much for regaining your humanity." 

She reached her arms out towards Seven’s shoulders one more time, but before she could make contact, she saw the look on Seven’s face change. Suddenly, Seven moved for her, screaming as she did.

Seven caught her arms in her hands, the momentum of her movement causing B’Elanna to stumble backwards and fall. She could sense Seven falling on top of her and tried to shift her body to fall sideways so she would not take the brunt of the fall. When they hit, B’Elanna pulled her arms forward to get Seven to fall and used her momentum to roll over on top, grabbing at Seven’s now swinging hands, trying to restrain her. She grabbed one hand, but missed the right one and Seven was able to land a solid blow, catching her on the nose. B’Elanna felt the blood that started gushing from her nose immediately, even as the force of the blow sent her reeling backwards off of Seven. 

They scrambled to their feet, and B’Elanna charged Seven, grabbing her around her waist, knocking her back to the ground.

"Talk to me, Seven. Tell me what is going on. Talk to me."

"No!" It was a scream.

Seven managed to gain her footing and pulled herself up with B’Elanna still clinging to her. B’Elanna felt Seven clawing at her back, trying to get a handhold to pull her away. She knew that she had to keep Seven off balance or her Borg strength would allow Seven to overpower her. Holding tightly to her waist, she drove with her legs, working to push her back farther from the darkness and, hopefully, off her feet. She felt Seven stumble and start to fall. Positioning herself, she pushed with her legs and sent the taller woman hard into the ground, hoping to knock the air out of her. As soon as Seven hit, she knew she had been successful.

B’Elanna quickly pushed herself to her feet and looked down at the figure on the ground beneath her, working to catch her breath. Fists clenched, she said, "Are you ready to talk? Or would you rather fight some more?"

Seven gasped, working to catch her breath. Finally, she spoke, her voice thick with emotion as she did, "I can’t."

"Why not?" B’Elanna was panting.

Seven closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands.

B’Elanna hesitated, then lowered herself to her knees beside Seven. "Seven," she said, her voice soft, "talk to me. Tell me what is going on."

But Seven only repeated, "I can’t."

B’Elanna watched her carefully, then asked, "Why not?" When she did not get a response, she dropped back on her heels and tried again, "Why not, Seven?"

Seven rolled over on her side and curled into a fetal position. When she answered, B’Elanna had to strain to hear her, "Because I do not know."

B’Elanna closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them, she reached out and gently brushed back Seven’s hair from her face, "Then, that is what we have to find out. I think that is what this journey is all about." When Seven turned her head to look up at her, B’Elanna smiled, "Are you ready?" 

She reached out her hand to Seven and held it, waiting. It seemed to take forever, but Seven finally reached up to take it. She helped her to her feet and looked down the corridor. She felt a tremendous relief when she realized the corridor was bright again. When she looked back at Seven, she noticed the Borg implants were gone. Glancing over at Lonely Light, she saw that the Eightfour’s face was slightly crinkled. Nodding at her, she looked up at Seven, "Shall we start?"

Seven looked down at the woman who had blood dripping down her nose, "You are damaged."

"I’ve been damaged worse. I’ll live." She reached up and gingerly wiped at her nose with the back of her free hand, then brushed it on her pants, "Come on. Let’s go."

Seven’s eyes traveled down to her hand wrapped in B’Elanna’s. B’Elanna waited to see if she would pull away. Instead, Seven gripped her hand, careful not to do so too tightly, then nodded.

"Good." B’Elanna turned to the corridor. "Let’s do it."

Kathryn walked into the sickbay, holding a sleeping Kathryn B’Elanna in her arms. "I think I wore her out, Doctor."

He moved quickly to take his daughter from her, laughing when she did not even wake up as he lifted her. "I guess you did. What in the world did the two of you do today?"

"She mainly watched while I worked today."

He gave her a cut of his eyes, "Really?"

She dropped her eyes to the floor, "Really. I…uh," she put her hands on her hips, "To be honest with you, Doctor, I think my reaction to her yesterday put a stop to her giving me much help."

He picked up a small bag beside his console and shifted his daughter in his arms, "Why don’t you accompany me back to my quarters to put Kathryn B’Elanna to bed, and you can tell me all about it." He grinned at her, "If you are interested in something to eat, I found a wonderful recipe I thought Seven would enjoy. I’d be willing to try it out on you first."

"Sounds appealing." She turned to join him in leaving the sickbay, "Although, I think I would just be happy with a decent cup of coffee, if you think you could manage that?"

"I think I should be able to accommodate your special needs." Smiling, he led her out of the sickbay.

Once they arrived at the Doctor’s quarters, Kathryn noticed that the Doctor did not go to Kathryn B’Elanna’s bedroom to put her down, but continued to hold her as he prepared the meal. While he put the hot cup of fresh coffee on the table, she sat, continuing to watch him, not saying anything as he put her plate in front of her. 

When he sat down, still holding his sleeping daughter close to him, she finally spoke, "You are really worried."

He nodded at his head at her, placing his cheek against Kathryn B’Elanna’s head and tightened his arms around her.

Kathryn played with her food, then took a sip of the coffee, "You don’t think she is coming back."

He stared at the table, then answered, "No."

"Why not?"

"I don’t know. It is just a feeling I am getting." When she waited on him to continue, he took a deep breath, "Seven and I seem to have a…unique connection. We have had since our experience on the holodeck." When Kathryn gave him a puzzled look, he explained, "When Seven was trapped in the holodeck, I was able to interact with her and share some of my experiences with her by downloading parts of my program into her cybernetic systems. It helped her relive some of the more important parts of our relationship. We believe Kathryn B’Elanna facilitated that connection."

Kathryn’s eyes widened at his comment, "Oh." 

He smiled at her, "I know. Neither of us have talked about it very much. It was such a special experience for us. Ever since, things have been different between us. My being a hologram and Seven being an ex-drone made it very difficult for us to have normal feelings for each other. But that changed after our holodeck experience. We were connected in a special way.

"I can feel her, Kathryn. I can sense her deep inside my subroutines. She is slipping away." He reached back and grabbed the small bag he had brought with him, emptying its contents on the table. Kathryn caught her breath as Borg implants rolled out on the table. "I have been trying to use these to connect with her all day. They are old implants I have removed from her over the years. Once today, I almost thought I had connected with her. I almost felt her. But, then I lost her."

Kathryn sat quiet, looking at the implants on the table in front of her. She reached down and picked up one, turning it in her hand, examining it carefully. She looked over at the Doctor, holding his daughter, his eyes closed. Finally, she said, "Doctor, give me Kathryn B’Elanna and go pack her a bag. I’ll take her with me tonight." She pushed the implants across the table toward him, "You need to concentrate on your wife."

He blinked quickly a few times, then smiled at her and moved to hand his daughter to her as she stretched out her arms. Without speaking, he left for Kathryn B’Elanna’s bedroom.

Kathryn looked at the sleeping child in her arms, then glanced up at the bedroom door. Looking down at the implants strewn across the table, she hesitated, then reached to pick up one and place it in her pocket.

Figures were coming at them from everywhere. There were members of the crew, aliens they had met. Situations and experiences played themselves out as they walked down the corridor. As scenes and images played themselves out, B’Elanna saw Seven change in reaction. It was Seven as a Borg, as a half-Borg, pregnant with Kathryn B’Elanna, soft with the Doctor, harsh with her, confused with Harry, child-like with Kathryn, a mixture of child and adult, always searching and often in pain. She watched as the scenes evolved, and she noticed for the first time, the images appearing before them often were memories from the early days of Seven’s arrival on Voyager.

With a start, she realized, see was seeing the memories that Seven had lost. Before she could say anything, she heard Lonely Light in her head.

"Do not speak. Just keep watching."

Supala offered Kahkar the tray, watching with delight as he carefully looked over the selections, taking a long time in picking his dessert of choice. Finally, he lifted two plates from the tray.

"Do not tell Ketaria," he admonished.

"Don’t worry about me," she shook her head, "she’ll know the minute she puts her arms around you." She stopped, and her red eyes twinkled, "Or tries to."

He laughed as she moved on to offer the tray to Tom.

"I know exactly what I want." He lifted a plate from the tray, "I was just afraid this tray was not going to get past Kahkar." He carefully put the plate down, shifting To’mas slightly as he did, "Oh, son. I love you, but I certainly am glad you aren’t old enough to want any of this!" He lifted his fork and cut a piece of the pie he had chosen, relishing the flavor as he put the bite in his mouth. "Ohhh, Supala. This is delicious."

She smiled back at him as she moved toward Harry. Before she could reach him, he stood and took the tray from her hands. "You pick your dessert, then I’ll pick mine."

She laughed, knowing why he had taken the tray from her, but did as she was told, sitting down once she made her selection. Harry made his own selection, put the tray down and quickly sat down close to Supala.

Tom looked at the couple, a gleam in his eyes, "So, how did it go last night?"

Supala blushed deeply and glanced at Kahkar, a warning look in her eyes, but Harry grinned at him, "We had a good time, Tom. And that is all you are going to hear about it."

Tom glanced over at Kahkar, "That tells me he is serious, Kahkar."

"And we shall respect his silence, Tom." Kahkar’s voice carried his humor. He looked at the child in Tom’s arms, "May I?" He nodded toward To’mas.

"Sure." He lifted his son toward Kahkar, "Now, I’ll be able to enjoy another dessert." Grinning broadly at Supala, he reached for another plate from the tray. Settling back with his choice, he looked at his son in Kahkar’s arms. He noticed how small his son looked in the big man’s arms. "You really are a natural, Kahkar."

"Oh, I love children. Ketaria and I would have liked to have had children, but it was never so."

"You helped Seven and the Doctor have Kathryn B’Elanna," Harry said, "why didn’t you do the same for yourself?" He looked up at Supala when she bumped him, her eyes telling Harry to stay quiet.

Kahkar saw the look and laughed, "It is all right, Supala. Neither Ketaria nor I have anything to hide. We do not understand why the God of Science and Truth did not bless us with children, but we accepted it as our reality. Ketaria could not carry children. We tried. And we lost. Our science was not enough.

"Sometimes, I think that is why Ketaria wanted so much to help Seven when she felt her desire for a child." He looked down at To’mas, "And so did I." He looked back up at the people around him, "While we were not given natural children, the God of Science and Truth has blessed us with other kinds of children. We very much consider Supala, Eloca and Rowin our children. When Seven came into our lives, she quickly became our daughter, and Kathryn B’Elanna became our grandchild. Now," he looked to Harry, "we accept other children into our hearts. Ours is a very full life, filled with the love of many children and a growing number of grandchildren. We could not be happier."

Harry glanced at Supala, noticing that she was blushing again. Reaching out, he took her hand and squeezed it. Tom watched them for a minute, then said, "Speaking of Seven, have you heard anything?"

His smile disappeared and a concerned look crossed his face, "No. I have not."

"Are you worried?"

Kahkar looked away, then slowly nodded his head, "Yes. I am."

The Doctor was sitting in the middle of their bed, Seven’s pillow clutched tightly to his body and an old implant in his hands. He had emptied the bag of implants on the bed and spread them around him.

He concentrated.

Seven, hear me.

Kathryn curled up closely to Kathryn B’Elanna. Rubbing her hand on her stomach, she gently shook her.

"Kathryn B’Elanna. Wake up." She shook her lightly again, "Wake up, sweetheart."

Kathryn B’Elanna’s eyes opened, and Kathryn had to shake her again to keep them from closing. She whimpered and groaned, fighting to return to her sleep.

"Kathryn B’Elanna, please wake up. We have to help your Mama."

Kathryn B’Elanna’s eyes opened a little wider, "Mama?"

"Yes. We have to help your Mama."

She helped Kathryn B’Elanna push herself up into a sitting position, as she now fought to wake up. Kathryn B’Elanna looked at her, and Kathryn saw the child struggling to understand where she was, and what she was being told. She looked up at Kathryn again, "Mama?"

"Yes, honey, your Mama is…broken. We need to help fix her." She watched as distrust filled the child’s eyes. "No, Kathryn B’Elanna, you are not a bad girl. You are a very good girl, and your Mama needs you. You must help your Mama."

"Help Mama? Keta help Mama."

"I know, but you also have to help your Mama."

Kathryn could tell the child was still uncertain about what she was being told. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the Borg implant and handed it to her, "Here, hold this." She pressed the implant into Kathryn B’Elanna’s hands.

As soon as she felt it, her eyes widened. Concentrating, she looked up into Kathryn’s eyes, worry starting to appear in them, "Mama?" Her voice shook slightly.

"Yes. We must help her. Can you help her, Kathryn B’Elanna?"

She sat quietly, looking carefully at the implant in her hands before looking back at Kathryn, "Borg."

Kathryn felt her stomach go cold, immediately wondering if she had just made a huge mistake. She reached to take the implant from the child’s hands, but Kathryn B’Elanna tightened her hands around it and shook her head.

"No." Her eyes narrowed as she concentrated, "Mama broken."

Kathryn did not respond, suddenly hating herself for what she had just done. She reached for the implant again, "No, Kathryn B’Elanna. Give it to me. Aunt Kathryn was wrong. Please, give it back."

But the child gripped the implant tighter and crawled toward her, almost forcing herself into Kathryn’s lap. She reached to grab her hand and wrapped it around the hand holding the implant. Closing her eyes, she left awareness.

Kathryn sat holding the child, afraid to move and afraid of what she had done.

Ketaria felt The Sage touch her mind.

"Be strong."

She nodded, grateful when she felt The Sage’s hand close around her own. Suddenly, she stiffened, feeling The Sage do the same.

"Kathryn B’Elanna. No."

Once again, she felt The Sage speak to her, "No. You cannot do anything. There are journeys in journeys. You must trust them."

Ketaria reluctantly nodded her head and went back to watching, her heart in her throat.