Copyright 2001, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

The Eightfours were sitting, patiently waiting on her. She looked around, seeing the people in the room without looking at them – the Doctor, Ketaria and Kathryn. She still could not feel comfortable calling the Captain Kathryn. It did not feel natural to her.

She could feel their eyes on her. She concentrated on The Sage.

"I cannot accept."

She felt the reaction of the people in the room and saw the sadness of the Eightfours. Before anyone could say anything, the door opened, and B’Elanna walked in. She looked around at the faces in the room and stood, hands on her hips facing Seven, "You said no."

"You are correct."

B’Elanna looked toward the bedroom door, "Seven, could I speak with you a minute?" She added, "Privately?"

Seven gave her a surprised look, then nodded.

B’Elanna walked toward Seven’s bedroom and entered, leaving the door open. Seven hesitated before following her. Ketaria gave the Doctor a puzzled look and shrugged when he cocked an eye at her. Kathryn turned to see how the Eightfours had reacted to B’Elanna’s sudden appearance, surprised to see The Sage’s face crinkled. The younger Eightfour sat quietly, her look unresponsive. She turned to see the bedroom door close behind Seven.

Seven saw that B’Elanna had moved to stand in the far corner of the room. She closed the door behind her, then backed up to it. She gave B’Elanna an expectant look.

B’Elanna crossed her arms in front of her, "I will go with you."

Seven blinked at her in surprise, "But I am not going."

"You should."

"It is none of your business."

"I beg to differ. It is very much my business."

"Explain."

"Your life affects your daughter’s life, and your daughter’s life is what makes it my business."

Seven glared at her.

"I will go with you, Seven. You will not be alone."

"Lonely Light had already offered to be my guide."

"I would not be your guide. I wouldn’t have a clue how to do that."

"Thank you, but no."

B’Elanna took a deep breath, "Funny."

"What is funny?"

"I never took you for a coward, Seven." The word slapped her in the face, and B’Elanna saw her eyes narrow as the anger flooded into them. She did not give her a chance to respond, "I expected more of you."

Seven looked away, her breath coming quickly, her voice was bitter when she responded, "I am sorry I disappointed you."

"I’m sorry you disappointed your daughter." She took a step closer, "Seven, what happened to you was terrible. It is a miracle you survived. But it is owning you right now, and you are letting it. This is a chance for you to do something about it. You owe it to yourself to take this journey. You owe it to your husband. And you owe it to your daughter."

"And you?"

B’Elanna laughed, "You don’t owe me anything." She took a step closer, "Don’t let this opportunity pass you by."

Seven dropped her head. She slowly walked to her bed and sat on the end of it, "You are right, B’Elanna. I am afraid to do it."

B’Elanna carefully moved toward the bed and sat down on the edge, noting with some satisfaction that Seven did not seem to notice, "I know you are. That’s why I am going with you." When Seven turned to look at her, she continued, "You won’t have to do this alone. I’ll be with you."

"My protector?"

"No, not your protector. Maybe your warrior. I am Klingon, after all." She smiled at Seven, "But, definitely your friend." She watched as the air left Seven’s body, and she slumped slightly. "Come on. Let’s go tell them."

She almost held her breath as she waited for Seven’s response. Finally, Seven nodded at her.

B’Elanna checked herself in the mirror, adjusting the straps on her uniform. Tom sat on the edge of their bed and watched her. When she was satisfied with what she saw, she turned to face him.

"Well?"

"You look…," he cut his eyes from side to side, hunting for the right word.

"Like a Klingon?"

"Yes," he nodded, "you definitely look like a Klingon.

"Today, I am a warrior. I figured I might as well dress like one."

He stood and walked to her, taking her in his arms, "I am frightened for you."

"So am I."

"But, I am proud of you." He leaned down to kiss her, pulling her tightly to him. When they broke their kiss, he said, "Be careful, B’Elanna. Come home to To’mas and me."

"I will. I will." She pulled away and straightened her tunic. Taking Tom’s hand, she walked out of their bedroom. Miral stood in the center of the room, To’mas in her arms. B’Elanna saw the fierce pride in her eyes as she walked toward her mother. She put her hand on her son’s head and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. His face broke into a big, toothless smile, and she laughed at him, kissing him again.

"You be a good boy while I am gone." She looked at her mother, "Neelix has his milk stored safely in case I am gone longer than…." Her voice trailed off.

"Do not be concerned, Lanna. I will watch him carefully. Tom and I will take good care of him."

Her head worked up and down, "I know you will."

Miral reached up to place her hand against her daughter’s cheek, "Be careful."

"Yes." Giving them a brave smile, she kissed her son one more time and started out the door.

"Lanna." Her mother called to her.

"Yes?"

"Today is a good day to die."

She gave her mother a tight-lipped smile, "Yes, today is a good day to die." Then she glanced at Tom, grateful for his supportive smile. Without another word, she left for the turbolift.

When she entered the transporter room, she was somewhat surprised she was the first to arrive. She realized she was glad. It gave her a moment to gather her thoughts. The Eightfours were already on the bioship. She, Seven and Ketaria would transport to join them. She had been surprised that no one had argued when she announced she was accompanying Seven. Later, Ketaria had told her that The Sage had told them what was happening once Seven had closed the bedroom door. Laughing, she remembered the look on Kathryn’s face when The Sage informed her she would care for Kathryn B’Elanna while they was gone. Kathryn’s protests had been loud, but The Sage had simply looked at her, and Ketaria had not offered to translate her thoughts. When Kathryn had demanded to know why, Ketaria had told her The Sage had said because that was the way it was to be. There had been no more arguments, but she remembered the Doctor’s expression as he studied The Sage. Later, he had told B’Elanna he thought he understood what was going on, but did not offer to clarify it for her. 

She shook her head, not certain she had it figured out at all. It was pretty obvious Seven was not the only one who would be going on a journey this day.

The door opened, and she looked up to see Seven walk through with the Doctor at her side. She caught her breath. Seven was dressed in the outfit she had gotten from Motalli’s people, complete with leg brace and vest. The outfit was totally unexpected. Before the doors could close, Ketaria walked in. B’Elanna and Ketaria stepped up on the platform and stood waiting for Seven to join them.

She stood facing the Doctor. He gave her a brave smile, "I will be waiting for you when you come home."

She nodded at him.

He wanted desperately to take her hand, but didn’t. "I love you. Be safe."

Her head dropped, but she gave another slight nod. She turned and stepped up on the transporter platform and watched his eyes as she disappeared in a beam of blue light.

He looked at her empty place on the platform a long time after she was gone.

Ketaria stood back, watching as The Sage and Lonely Light made the final adjustments on the headgear that would synchronize Seven’s mental vibrations with the ship’s systems. Getting Seven to put on the headgear had been the first battle that they had had to fight. Getting her into the chair had been the second.

The chair had been adapted to her unique physiology and form and required her to be secured in the chair while the synchronization process was running. As soon as they had started to secure the straps, Seven had started trembling. It had not taken long for her body to be shaking uncontrollably. Ketaria knew she was flashing back to her confinement in the brig on the space station, as well as the explosions onboard the transport ship. She had been trying to surround Seven with comfort when B’Elanna kneeled in front of her.

"Seven, look at me." Her voice had been strong, and Seven’s eyes had snapped to hers immediately. "Focus on me." Ketaria had noticed that B’Elanna had not tried to touch Seven. She kneeled in front of her, holding her position and holding Seven with her eyes. "Look at me only. Don’t pay attention to what they are doing. Concentrate on me. We will get through this." Her words had been spoken slowly, and Seven had stared at her.

Now, as they made their final adjustment, Lonely Light backed up and lowered herself to the floor, concentrating on the two women, almost listening to the silent communication going on between them. Ketaria had noticed that Lonely Light’s face never showed any emotion. She had learned to read the emotion on The Sage’s face, but suddenly realized she had never seen similar expressions on Lonely Light’s. Her reverie was broken as she heard The Sage’s thoughts enter her mind.

"The synchronization is beginning. It will not take long."

She quickly looked to Seven, grateful when she did not see the still trembling woman react to the beginning of the synchronization. Still, she was glad the process lasted only a few minutes. As soon as she received the message from The Sage, she spoke to Seven.

"It is over, Seven. They are going to disconnect you. It will only take a minute more."

Seven sat with her eyes still locked on B’Elanna, and Ketaria could tell she was working hard to ignore what was happening around her. The Eightfours worked quickly, and Seven was soon able to stand and step away from the chair. 

Ketaria spoke to her again, "The Sage says it will take a little while for the bioship to make the proper adjustments. She wants to know if you want Lonely Light to take on human form, or if you will allow her to communicate telepathically with her."

Seven glanced in the direction of the younger Eightfour before asking, "What about B’Elanna?"

B’Elanna and Lonely Light looked at each other, and B’Elanna could see the question in the Eightfour’s eyes. Surprised, she opened her mind as Ketaria had taught her to do. After a moment, she turned to Seven, "I can communicate with her. You should decide what will make you more comfortable. I will be fine either way."

Seven looked uncertain, and B’Elanna knew immediately she had hoped B’Elanna would ask the Eightfour to take on human form. B’Elanna made herself hold her ground. If Seven wanted the Eightfour to take on human form, she would have to ask her.

Finally, Seven shook her head, "No. Telepathic communication is acceptable."

Lonely Light spoke, and B’Elanna heard her in her mind, "I will always make certain to speak to both of you. You are free to speak in your voices. I will understand your minds as you form words."

Without looking at her, B’Elanna knew Seven had started trembling again, but she knew Seven would not speak. Well, thought B’Elanna, that was a small hurdle, but it had been a hurdle Seven had gotten over. That was good.

Ketaria spoke, "The Sage and I will stay here, monitoring your journey. You are free to begin."

The three looked at each other. Soon, Seven realized her two companions were looking at her, waiting on her to make the first move. Sighing, she looked at the corridor to her right and raised an eyebrow in question.

Lonely Light’s answer filled their minds, "Whatever you say, Seven. It is your journey."

Seven turned her back on her companions and stared down the corridor. It was her journey. It was under her control. She could stop right now. They had promised her it was under her control. Then, why did she feel so out of control? Fighting the fear that was rising in her throat, she started walking. She felt B’Elanna and Lonely Light move with her.

Kathryn walked into the small room on deck fifteen, putting down both the toolbox and the child she carried.

"You wait right here, Kathryn B’Elanna." She muttered under her breath, "Just because I have to take care of you, it doesn’t mean I don’t have other work to do." She patted the child on the head, "Now, you sit and play with your toys while I work."

She stepped over the child and walked over to the console, bending down and removing the cover to allow her to access the control circuits. Pulling the tricorder from her belt, she started her analysis. There had been intermittent signals coming from this console, and they suspected one of the circuits was failing. This particular circuit panel also carried controls for the shields, and they were concerned about the ship’s shield integrity should there be a failure. The Eightfours had helped boost the power of the shields to provide additional protection in fluidic space, but they did not want to put themselves at needless risk.

Concentrating on the diagnostics of the tricorder, she was not aware that Kathryn B’Elanna had moved to stand near her. As she moved to her right, she lightly bumped the child, and started, realizing she had forgotten about her.

Kathryn B’Elanna was frowning as she looked at the tricorder. Pointing to it, she said, "Dada’s?"

Slightly annoyed, Kathryn shook her head, gently pushing the child away to continue her scanning, "No, this is not your Dada’s."

"Oh." It was almost a coo. 

Kathryn turned her head to see the interested look on Kathryn B’Elanna’s face. "What is it, Kathryn B’Elanna?"

Kathryn B’Elanna stood with her hands clasped in front of her and answered, "Kathryn B’Elanna not play with Dada’s work."

Kathryn laughed, now starting to understand, "I see." She held the tricorder up for the child to look at, realizing for the first time that the flashing lights would be interesting to a child. She offered it to Kathryn B’Elanna, "Would you like to hold it for a moment?" Kathryn B’Elanna’s eyes went wide with surprise, and she looked at Kathryn as if trying to make certain it was all right to touch the flashing device. Kathryn pushed the tricorder at her, "Go ahead. You can hold it."

Kathryn B’Elanna took the device from her, and Kathryn noted immediately how carefully she handled it. After watching a few minutes, she noticed that the child frowned, then squatted down, looking into the interior of the console. Suddenly, her hand shot out, and Kathryn quickly reached for it, jerking it back.

"No, Kathryn B’Elanna! Bad girl. That can hurt you."

Kathryn B’Elanna’s finger went immediately to her mouth, and she looked up at Kathryn, her eyes showing her surprise, "Kathryn B’Elanna no touch. Me no touch. Mama says no touch wires."

Kathryn frowned slightly, "So what were you doing?"

"Point." She tentatively straightened out her finger, keeping her arm tightly by her side and pointed to a spot inside the console, "Bad place."

"What?"

Kathryn B’Elanna was now staring intently into the dim interior, "Bad place right there."

Taking the tricorder from the child, Kathryn carefully scanned the area she thought Kathryn B’Elanna had pointed. Frowning, she shook her head, "Bad place?"

The child squatted down beside her and reached to put one hand on the tricorder the Captain held and pointed with the other, "Bad place, there."

Kathryn watched as the lights on the tricorder brightened, and she caught her breath as it started to register an anomaly. Glancing at the child beside her, she noticed her forehead wrinkle in concentration, and she saw the diagnostics on the tricorder single out the defective area. Reaching in, she gently disconnected the control and pulled it out, scanning it with the tricorder. Taking a deep breath, she realized the control was only starting to fail, and that the circuits were still functioning and only intermittently failing. Holding it up, she asked, "Is this the bad part?"

Kathryn B’Elanna laughed, "Yes. Bad place." While the Captain held the object in front of her, she gently reached up and touched it with her finger. Then, she jerked her finger back and giggled. Looking at Kathryn, she said, "Kathryn B’Elanna make better?"

"What?"

Smiling broadly, she repeated herself, "Kathryn B’Elanna make better?"

Kathryn sat back on her heels, her look one of total disbelief, "Are you telling me you can fix this?"

The child quickly pointed at the control again, laughing, "Kathryn B’Elanna make better."

Kathryn held the control out to her, and she took it, holding it in her hands and concentrating on it. Kathryn watched her eyes as they focused on the object in her hands. After a minute, she handed it back to the Captain.

"All better now."

Kathryn quickly scanned it, looking intently at the diagnostics. After a few minutes, Kathryn B’Elanna left her to go play with her toys, and Kathryn continued watching the diagnostics. After ten minutes, she could not find any indication that there was a problem with the part. Finally, she reached in and returned the part to its place, continuing to carefully scan it. 

After a long time of totally normal scans, she looked at the child playing beside her. 

"Oh, my God."

They were walking in a long, dark tunnel. B’Elanna felt as if they had been walking for hours, but she had to admit to herself, she had lost her concept of time. They could have been walking for five minutes or five hours for all she knew. What she did know was that she could not see past the three of them. Guarding her thoughts carefully, she acknowledged that this was what it was like to be inside Seven’s mind these days. 

They truly were in the sector of emptiness.

As if she could read her mind, Seven said, "There is nothing but darkness in this place."

B’Elanna heard Lonely Light’s response in her mind, "It is because that is all you wish to see."

"Explain."

"The ship will show you what you wish to see."

Seven looked blankly at her, her jaw working back and forth. Then, she turned and concentrated on a place in the darkness ahead of her. Suddenly, a bright spot appeared, and Kathryn B’Elanna sat in front of them, playing.

Lonely Light started to explain, "Whatever images you wish to see are manifested before you. You can replay old experience, imagine new ones, test yourself in new environments."

"Like the holodeck," offered B’Elanna.

"Yes, but those experiences must be programmed. These follow thoughts. What you think can be given form. What you want to remember can be brought to light."

Seven stood staring at her child, watching as she played.

B’Elanna waited, seeing the emotions that worked their way through Seven’s face. Then, she realized that the Doctor was now standing, holding his daughter. She started to turn her head to look at Seven again, when she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye and saw a male figure swing at the Doctor, catching him on the arm and he dematerialized, dropping his daughter to the floor. She heard Kathryn B’Elanna’s screams fill the corridor. Suddenly, they were in darkness again and she heard Seven’s panicked breathing. As she turned to look at her, she heard Lonely Light speak once again.

"You are in control here Seven. You see only what you want to see, what you are ready to see. It is your journey."

Seven worked to calm her breathing. She kept her focus on the corridor in front of her, then started walking. As she moved, the corridor became lighter.

B’Elanna started to follow, but was stopped by Lonely Light. She stood still and watched as Seven walked into the area that was now filled with light. She squinted as her vision of Seven blurred, then cleared. Cutting her eyes towards the Eightfour, she turned her attention back to Seven, shocked at what she saw.

Seven was standing in a cell, her arms shackled to her waist and wearing shackles on her ankles. Before B’Elanna could move toward her, Seven blurred again and darkness filled the corridor.

Seven screamed.

The Eightfour got to her first. She was on her knees, her hands to her head, rocking back and forth. Squatting down next to the screaming figure, she tried to communicate with her. B’Elanna saw quickly that whatever she was saying was not reaching Seven. B’Elanna got on her knees, hesitated for a moment, then reached out and grabbed Seven’s hand.

"Seven! Stop!" Seven looked at her in shock, quickly jerking her hand away, but she stopped screaming. B’Elanna nodded at her, "Good. Good." She glanced at Lonely Light before addressing Seven, "Well, maybe that wasn’t the best place to start your journey, Seven." She saw that Seven had drawn up into a tight ball and was pressing herself into the wall behind her. "Okay. Now we know how it works." She sat down on the floor of the corridor and crossed her legs, "Maybe we should discuss a beginning plan. Come on, Seven, let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about what you would like to explore."

The Eightfour sat back, waiting for Seven’s reaction to B’Elanna’s words. When Seven moved her body slightly forward, the eyes narrowed, and she settled back. The warrior was proving herself. This would be an interesting journey.

Supala was working over a pan of vegetables. She had just brought them up from the hyponics bay in Kahkar’s ship. Neelix had helped her start her own small garden, and she was finding that she enjoyed growing things as much as cooking. She lifted one of the bright red tomatoes, admired it, then sniffed at it. She had learned to appreciate the subtle differences in the scent of ripening vegetables. Going through the vegetables in her pan, she unerringly selected the ones that were ready for cooking, putting aside the ones that needed another day.

She was so engrossed, she did not realize she had a visitor.

"Those are pretty."

She jumped, sending half the tomatoes across the counter top.

"Oh, no." She scrambled, trying to grab at the scattering vegetables before they could fall off.

Harry grabbed at one tomato falling off the counter, catching it just as Supala grabbed at it. Their heads collided, knocking them both backward. 

"Ouch!" Harry reached for his head, "Are you all right?"

Supala’s hand was on her own forehead, but she nodded at him, "Yes. But, I have a bump."

"Me, too." He looked up, grinning at her, "I’m sorry I startled you."

"No, that was my fault."

"No, not this time. I’m afraid I have to take the blame on this one. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that." He reached for her hand, "Come on, let me see." He pulled her hand down and looked closely at the bump rising on her forehead, aware that she was starting to blush a deep red, "Do you think you need to visit the Doctor?"

She shook her head, but did not reply.

He held up two fingers, "How many fingers do you see?"

"Two."

"Any headache?"

"No."

"Sure about not going to see the Doctor?"

She nodded, "Yes, I’m sure."

He studied her a moment as if trying to decide if he believed her or not. Finally, he grinned and turned his attention to picking up the vegetables and putting them back in the pan, "So, what were you planning on doing with these?"

"I found a recipe for spaghetti. I think I remember that you like…uh, Kahkar likes spaghetti so I thought I would make some for him."

His grin broadened, but he acted as if he had not heard her slip. "I know he’ll enjoy it. Spaghetti is one of my favorites." He studied a tomato, "It makes me a little jealous of Kahkar."

She busied herself with the vegetables, growing more nervous by his presence, "Maybe you could join him for the evening meal. That is, if you would like."

"That would be nice. Thank you." He moved around the counter and stood, facing her, "Or, maybe we would do something else."

She did not look at him, "What do you have in mind?"

"I don’t know. Maybe we could do something on the holodeck tonight."

"Is Tom running another one of his special programs?"

"Not that I know of." He crossed his arms on the counter and leaned forward, "Besides, I wasn’t really talking about us doing anything with anyone else."

She stopped and looked up at him, "What?"

"I said I wasn’t talking about us doing anything with anyone else."

Puzzled, she asked, "What were you talking about then?"

"I was thinking maybe we…I mean just the two of us could do something on the holodeck tonight."

She gave him a strange look, "What would we do?"

"Well, we could do anything you would like, but…." 

"But what?"

He took a deep breath, "I thought maybe we could have a nice dinner at Sandrines. Just the two of us." He paused, then added, "Dinner and dancing, maybe."

"Din…din…dinner and dancing?"

"Yes."

Her eyes widened and then narrowed, "Dinner and dancing sounds…like…a….a…."

"A date, Supala. I’m asking you to go on a date with me." He watched as the color left her face, and she grabbed to the counter to steady herself. "Are you all right?" He started to move around the counter toward her, but stopped when she quickly nodded her head.

"No. I mean, yes, I’m fine. It’s just…well…nothing." She stammered, working hard to regain her composure, "Fine. Fine. I’m fine. And, tonight would be…fine."

He smiled, "Good. Why don’t I come by Kahkar’s living quarters at nineteen hundred hours?"

"Kahkar’s quarters?"

"Yes. I think that would be appropriate, don’t you?"

She nodded, "Yes. Yes, I think you are right."

"Okay. I will see you later." He turned and walked toward the doors of the mess hall. Before leaving, he stopped and looked at her, "I’m looking forward to tonight."

She could only nod. As soon as the doors closed behind him, she slapped her hands to her mouth. A date. She had a date with Harry tonight. Oh my. She had a date. Suddenly, she looked around the room, suddenly lost.

"What did you do on a date? And what did you wear?"

Kahkar sat on the semicircular sofa on his observation deck. Sighing, he thought about his earlier conversation with Harry Kim. His little girl was growing up. A feeling of melancholy came over him.

Fingering the PADD in his hand, he keyed in a command and the Millennium Event began to play on the screen in front of him. He sat watching it, remembering seeing it through the observation window in this room, holding Seven close to him. That seemed like so many lifetimes ago now. She was so different now.

His head dropped to his chest, and his lips tightened as he closed his eyes as he replayed his conversation with Ketaria before she left to go with Seven.

"You must be prepared, Kahkar."

"I know." His wife had nodded, and he had seen the look in her eyes. "You do not believe she will return."

"I think she will find her way to the darkness she has been seeking."

He had stared at her a long time before responding, "Promise me you will not let her take you with her."

She had smiled at him, and he had felt the depths of his heart warmed as she had spoken, "I promise, Kahkar. For the sake of our granddaughter, I must return. She will need me."

He sighed. There had been no other choice. This was Seven’s only chance, and they had to let her take it. But, he reluctantly acknowledged to himself, he agreed with Ketaria. He did not believe Seven would return. He could only pray that she would not take his wife with her.