Copyright 2001, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

"Keta! Hurry! Come!"

Ketaria sat up straight in the bed, grabbing at her head and gasping. Kahkar reached for her immediately, "Kathryn B’Elanna?"

She nodded, throwing the covers off and reaching for her robe, "It is bad. We must hurry."

Kahkar grabbed his own robe and quickly followed his wife out of the bedroom. As soon as they left the quarters, they heard the screams filling the corridor. They started running, Kahkar quickly outpacing Ketaria.

When the doors of the living quarters opened for him, he saw Kathryn B’Elanna standing in the middle of her parents’ living area, rocking from foot to foot, looking over her shoulder at her parents’ closed bedroom door, clasping her hands together. As soon as he ran in, she reached her arms for him, and he covered the distance between them in a couple of steps and swooped her up in his arms. She buried her head in his neck and he covered her ear with his hand, pressing her head against his body in an effort to help her shut out the screams filling the room.

Ketaria did not even stop as she ran into the room and straight for the Doctor’s and Seven’s bedroom, Quickly shutting the door behind her, she looked into the corner she knew Seven would be huddled. The Doctor was kneeling on the floor, close to his wife, but he was making no attempt to touch her. She joined him on the floor and watched Seven carefully, trying to reach out with her mind to provide her comfort. She did not try to touch her. Both she and the Doctor knew they could not touch her.

Seven was on her knees, rocking back and forth, her hands held tightly to her head, screaming. Her eyes were closed, and Ketaria knew she was still deeply asleep. Glancing over at the Doctor, she saw he had the hypospray ready. She settled herself and concentrated, working to surround Seven with comfort, trying to slowly calm her to allow the Doctor to administer the sedative. After a few minutes, she watched as Seven’s rocking slowed and one hand slipped down from her head to rest in her lap. She nodded at the Doctor, and he carefully reached to press the hypospray against her neck, administering the medicine. He quickly pulled back as Seven jerked away from him, her hands going up in a defensive motion, her screams intensifying. In a matter of seconds, she slumped, but neither the Doctor nor Ketaria moved toward her. The Doctor activated his medical tricorder and watched the results of his scan while Ketaria carefully monitored her thoughts. Finally, they looked at each other and, in silent agreement, moved toward the unconscious figure. Ketaria touched Seven’s head for a second, then softly stroked her hair.

"We can put her back in the bed now."

The Doctor lifted her and placed her gently on the bed. Together, they covered her. He looked down at his wife, worry etched in his face.

Ketaria reached to place her hand on his shoulder, "Doctor, I’ll stay and watch her." He looked at her and started to shake his head, but she stopped him, "No, Doctor, you should go to your daughter. She needs you. Seven will sleep now." She gave him a slight push on his shoulder, "Go to your daughter."

He looked down at his wife, his concern and conflict clear in his eyes, but he finally nodded in agreement. Leaning down, he kissed her on the forehead and reluctantly left the room.

Ketaria sighed and pulled up a chair, sitting down close to the bed. She reached out to place her hand on Seven’s head and concentrated. After a few minutes, her face tightened in grim concern.

Seven was unconscious, but her mind was still struggling with the nightmares. Ketaria watched as the visions haunting Seven rolled through her mind. Ketaria saw the now familiar pictures that flashed in her mind and felt the anger that controlled Seven. She sighed in frustration.

They had been in fluidic space for a little more than six months. At first, Seven seemed to be recovering from her injuries and experiences. Then, about a month ago, she started experiencing the nightmares. Neither Ketaria nor the Doctor had been surprised when they started. She remembered thinking it was about time for Seven to deal with the emotional impact of what she had been through, but both were surprised at their intensity and severity. When Seven was having the nightmares, she could not be touched – mentally or physically. Touching her caused her to react violently. She would fight the people around her. They had learned to stay away from her and to allow Ketaria to calm her by surrounding her with comfort. The Doctor had tried everything from medication to cortical devices to help control the nightmares, but nothing worked. It had gotten so bad that Kahkar and Ketaria had moved onto Voyager. 

As if the dreams were not enough, Seven also was starting to withdraw from everyone. It was getting more and more difficult to have a conversation with her. Even Kathryn B’Elanna had problems being close to her. It was as if Seven could not bear being touched on any level, awake or asleep.

Ketaria thought about what she did know. She had monitored Seven’s dreams and knew she vividly replayed her experiences while incarcerated on the space station. She also felt Seven’s anger and feelings of betrayal by the people around her. She could feel Seven gradually retreating to the smallest part of her mind, the part she had learned to hide. Ketaria was worried they were going to lose Seven to that very protected, very hidden part of her mind.

She sat back in her chair and reached to hold her hand, rubbing her thumb gently over the back of Seven’s hand. After everything that had happened, how could they possibly lose her now?

But they were, and Ketaria honestly did not know if they could do anything to stop it.

The Doctor was sitting with his arms wrapped tightly about his daughter, rocking slowly, his head leaning against the back of the chair. Kathryn B’Elanna was sitting with her eyes locked on the bedroom door. Her hands were balled into a fist and pressed against her mouth. Kahkar was pacing, watching the bedroom door as he walked toward it, and his head held low as he walked away from it. B’Elanna turned from watching them and picked up the coffee she had ordered and placed the cups on a tray. Picking it up, she approach Kathryn Janeway who gratefully accepted a cup from her and settled back in the sofa, sighing heavily. 

Kathryn had woken and knew immediately that something was wrong. The call from B’Elanna had come only moments later. Kathryn B’Elanna had wanted her Aunt Bala with her and had sent her a mental message. B’Elanna knew Janeway had wanted to be notified whenever Seven’s had her dreams. Lately, it had become a nightly occurrence.

B’Elanna walked up to offer Kahkar a cup of coffee. He had to force himself to take his eyes off the bedroom door and take a cup from the tray. He looked down at B’Elanna and gave her a worried smile. Then, he looked up quickly as Ketaria came out of the door, closing it softly behind her.

"She is finally resting quietly." She looked at the Doctor, "I am in contact with her, Doctor, and will continue to monitor her. You can relax right now."

He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. Kathryn B’Elanna reached up and stood in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Then, she turned again and sat down before sliding off his lap. She walked around the coffee table to B’Elanna who had just sat down and lifted her arms to her. As soon as B’Elanna picked her up and settled her, she rested her head against B’Elanna’s chest and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep. B’Elanna smiled at her and gently leaned over to kiss her head. 

Janeway sipped her coffee, her eyes focused on the now sleeping child. She did not have to look at the people in the room to know how concerned they all were. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she looked at the Doctor, "Why don’t you take Kathryn B’Elanna and go rest in her room? We’ll sit up in case Seven…needs help again."

He shook his head, "Thank you, Captain, but I don’t think I could sleep right now."

She nodded, then turned her head as B’Elanna stood. "I think," she said, "I’ll take Kathryn B’Elanna into her room and put her to bed." She gave the Doctor a meaningful look, "I’ll stay with her, Doctor."

He stood and walked with her to the bedroom, following her in. He pulled back the covers on the small bed and helped as she lowered the sleeping child. B’Elanna slipped out of her robe and got into the bed, cuddling close to KB and the Doctor pulled the covers over both of them.

He stood for a moment, then pointed to the to the opposite side of the bed, "Do you think…I could…for a moment…?"

His request surprised her, but she gave him a short nod of her head, "Of course."

He moved slowly around the bed and stretched out beside his daughter, propping himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. After a long period of silence, he spoke, "When Kahkar and Ketaria brought me back on line on their ship, I could not accept that Seven was dead. I remember thinking I would give anything to wake up from the dream and have my wife back." He paused and B’Elanna watched his face carefully, "I still remember exactly how I felt when Kahkar told me Seven was alive. It was as if a prayer had been answered. Seven was alive. My wife was alive." He reached to push a curl back on his daughter’s head, "I’ll never forget what it felt like when we touched in the shuttle bay. I knew, B’Elanna, that nothing would ever separate us again. I would never let anything separate us again."

He slowly lowered himself to lie next to his daughter, his head resting against hers. His eyes moved up toward B’Elanna’s, "I’m losing her. She is slipping away and we can’t do anything to stop it. She was too…damaged. What are we going to do, B’Elanna? What are we going to do?"

She reached out, placing her hand on his check, but she could not say anything. He was right, and she did not have an answer for him.

Seven was curled up on the sofa, with her back against the armrest and her head resting on the back. Ketaria walked up to her, "Seven, I have your breakfast here."

She straightened, and Ketaria placed the tray across her lap, being very careful not to touch her in any way. Then, she moved to sit in the chair, watching as Seven slowly picked at the breakfast. 

"Once you finish that, I will go with you to cargo bay two so you can regenerate."

"No."

"Seven," Ketaria worked at keeping her voice even, "you really need to regenerate."

"I do not wish to regenerate."

Ketaria narrowed her eyes, knowing she would have to be careful, "Is there any particular reason you do not wish to regenerate?"

Seven dropped her eyes and looked away, but stayed quiet.

"Talk to me."

Seven bite her lips.

Ketaria took a deep breath, "Do you have the dreams while you regenerate?"

Seven closed her eyes tightly.

"And while you are regenerating and you have the dreams, you feel even more trapped, more like you did when you were restrained on the space station."

"No!" Seven grabbed the tray and tossed it away from her. "Stop!" She stood and moved quickly to stand behind the sofa, away from Ketaria.

"Seven, please…."

"No!" It came out as a scream.

The door to Kathryn B’Elanna’s bedroom opened, and B’Elanna came out, pulling the door closed behind her, "Is something wrong out here?" She gave Seven a deliberate look, "Kathryn B’Elanna is worried about you."

A fear came into Seven’s face, "Tell her I am okay. Tell her she should stay in her room." She took a deep breath and lowered her voice, "Please, I do not want her to seem me. Please."

"Of course, Seven. I’ll tell her." She started to walk toward the replicator.

Seven moved in the opposite direction, "Where are you going?"

B’Elanna stopped, "I told Kathryn B’Elanna I would bring her breakfast in bed." She watched the look in Seven’s eyes, "Would you like to join her?"

"No." The response was almost desperate.

B’Elanna glanced at Ketaria. Hesitantly, she walked slowly toward Seven. Ketaria held her breath, trying to figure out what B’Elanna was doing. Seven did not move, but watched B’Elanna carefully.

"Seven," B’Elanna’s voice was soft, "there is nothing to be afraid of here. We are all your friends. Please, let us help you."

Seven’s head dropped and her eyes clenched tightly together. B’Elanna could see her body start to tremble. Gingerly, she reached out her hand. "It will be all right, Seven," as she continued to talk, she connected with Seven’s shoulder, "I promise, it will…."

As soon as B’Elanna touched her, Seven screamed and struck out, pushing B’Elanna’s hand away with her right arm and swinging wildly with her left. Her fist caught B’Elanna in the right shoulder, the blow sending her reeling back toward the table and crashing into it.

"No, Seven!" Ketaria moved quickly between Seven and B’Elanna who was struggling to rise to her feet, her face contorted in pain.

Before Seven could react, Kathryn B’Elanna came running into the room, "Mama! Bala!"

Seven looked at her child in horror. Shaking her head, she turned and ran from the living quarters. Kathryn B’Elanna started to run after her, but the doors closed before she could follow her mother. Ketaria ran to pick up her and quiet her frightened crying. Looking over at the ashen face of B’Elanna, she quickly slapped her combadge, "Ketaria to the Doctor, B’Elanna has been hurt. Please come quickly."

The Doctor closed his medical tricorder, "B’Elanna, you should be fine now, but I want you to rest."

She nodded and carefully moved her shoulder. She could tell it would be sore, "Are you telling me I am going to have to forego my weight lifting for a while?"

He gave her a look, then smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood, "Thank you."

She reached to grasp his arm, "Doctor, don’t be upset with her. I should never have tried to touch her. I knew better."

He just shook his head. Finally, he looked up at Ketaria, "Do you know where she went?"

"I have not tried to monitor her, Doctor, but I suspect she has gone to Flotter’s Forest."

Flotter’s Forest. It was the only place she felt safe, and she had started retreating there more and more. He put his hands on his knees, "I guess I should go see about her."

"Doctor," Ketaria approached him, "maybe you should let me go. You probably should stay here with Kathryn B’Elanna."

Reluctantly, he nodded at her.

"I will let you know what I find."

As she turned to leave, B’Elanna called after her, "Ketaria." When she turned to face her, B’Elanna said, "Please tell her I am all right." Ketaria smiled at her and left.

As soon as the doors closed behind her, she addressed the computer, "Computer, locate Seven of Nine."

"Seven of Nine is on holodeck one."

Ketaria started to move toward the turbolift. Before she could enter the turbolift, she felt a presence in her mind, and she pulled up short, listening.

"Ketaria."

She smiled as she recognized the gentle call, "Yes."

"I would speak with you."

She hesitated, "I am needed…."

"I know. But I think we should talk first."

"Of course. I will speak with Kathryn and arrange for you to be transported immediately."

Ten minutes later she stood and watched as the figure materialized in the transporter room. She allowed a genuine smile to come over her face as she stepped forward to greet her guest with a mental greeting.

"Welcome. It is good to visit with you again."

The Eightfour gracefully stepped down from the transporter platform, bowing the huge head.

"Come, we will go to my quarters here on Voyager. It will give us privacy."

They moved together. Ketaria could not help but admire the figure that walked beside her. This was the Eightfour known as The Sage. The Sage was an elder among her species. Her name was unpronounceable so Ketaria had come to think of her by the way that she had described herself. Or, how Ketaria had understood her description of herself. The Sage did not communicate often. She was more likely to spend her time in a quiet meditation. She was considered the religious leader of her species, and Ketaria had grown to have a great respect for her. She knew that her presence at this time heralded something significant.

As soon as they entered Ketaria’s home, The Sage lowered herself to the floor. Ketaria followed and opened her mind to her visitor.

"I am aware of the troubles of Seven of Nine."

Ketaria listened.

"She is very…disturbed."

Ketaria nodded in agreement.

"Are you aware she is entering…" she hesitated, and Ketaria knew immediately that she was struggling for a way to describe what she was trying to say. "…the sector of emptiness?"

Ketaria had never thought about it, but she was not surprised by the way The Sage had described what was happening to Seven. After a moment, she replied, "I did not know what to call it, but I understand what you are saying. Yes, you are correct. Seven of Nine is entering the sector of emptiness. We are very concerned about her."

"You are right to be concerned." The Eightfour raised her head, and Ketaria could see that she was carefully considering her next words. "She can be helped, but it is a dangerous task. She will have to face her thoughts and experiences. She will have to reclaim memories."

"I do not think she wants to do that."

"You are wrong. She does."

Ketaria’s eyes opened in surprise, "You have read her thoughts?"

The Sage’s face crinkled in what Ketaria had come to learn was a smile, "It would have been hard not to. She projects her thoughts very strongly." Her look sobered, "Some of our more sensitive beings…are starting to be impacted by her. We have talked. We must intercede, for the good of our beings as well as her. Gentle One, your Seven of Nine is in danger. You are losing her. We must act to protect her. The child must be protected as well. This is a critical time for her. She cannot lose her mother."

"What?"

The face crinkled again, "You must trust me on that."

Ketaria nodded. She looked up as The Sage spoke to her again.

"Gentle One, there is one among us who has volunteered to go through…" the eyes looked up and Ketaria knew she was searching for a descriptive again, "…The Catharsis with Seven of Nine."

"The Catharsis?"

She shrugged, "It comes the closest to describing the journey."

Ketaria thought about it, "It seems appropriate." She looked at the eyes, "It is a dangerous journey."

The huge head nodded, "Yes. There is a danger that both could be lost. I must tell you, I am concerned. I am concerned for Seven of Nine, for her child and for the one who has volunteered to walk with her. If Seven of Nine slips into the sector of emptiness, she will be lost to us. It is possible that the ones who walk with her will be lost also. The loss of her mother would be devastating to the child. You and I will have to work together to try to prevent that from happening."

Ketaria heard the message behind the thoughts, "It will be dangerous for us, also."

"Yes. But we do not believe there is another option. We believe it must be done."

Ketaria sighed, "Seven of Nine may fight us on this."

"We realize that. We must convince her."

Ketaria closed her eyes and felt as The Sage pulled back, giving her the privacy of her own thoughts. She knew the question was not if they should do this, but how they would convince Seven to do it. Finally, she opened her mind to The Sage, "I will talk to her."

Ketaria walked through Flotter’s Forest, searching for Seven of Nine. She stood and listened, but did not hear anything. Sighing, she reached out with her mind, immediately identifying Seven deeper in the forest. Frowning, she concentrated, then moved forward quickly, concerned by the feeling she was getting.

She saw a clearing in front of her and stood in the shadows, watching.

Seven was sitting on a rock, her back to Ketaria. Beside her was Flotter. Ketaria noticed immediately that Flotter was not touching her. He was sitting away from her. Ketaria could see that he had a pole in his hand. She laughed. Flotter was fishing and Seven was watching. She stepped into the clearing and walked toward the silent figures.

As she came into view, Seven turned to her, and Ketaria saw the tears streaming down her face. Flotter leaned over to look at her, "Mama Seven is crying."

"I can see." Ketaria moved closer.

Seven looked away from her, "Is B’Elanna all right?"

"B’Elanna is fine. She wanted me to make certain you knew that."

Seven bit her lip.

"Mama Seven is sorry she hurt B’Elanna." He gave her a sympathetic look, "She told me she did not know what she was doing."

Seven cut her eyes to him, and he fell silent, returning his attention to his fishing.

"B’Elanna knows that, Seven. She does not blame you." She moved a little closer and lowered her voice, "You need help, Seven. Please let us help you."

She stood silent, not quite certain what to expect. She watched as Seven bowed her head and slowly started shaking it, "I do not think I can be helped, Ketaria. I do not understand what it happening." Seven took a shaky breath, "I have been thinking. I should leave Voyager."

"No. That is the last thing you should do. You need to stay here, with your family and let us help you."

"My family. I will only hurt my family."

"Seven," Ketaria sat on the rock, close to her, "if you were bleeding, what would you do?" Seven’s eyes locked on hers, but she did not respond. Ketaria gave her a smile and continued to talk, answering her own question, "You would go to the Doctor for him to take care of you. If there was a problem with your implants, you would go to him to have him adjust them. What happened to you was like being injured or suffering a malfunction. Seven, you are bleeding emotionally. What happened to you has caused you to suffer an emotional malfunction. It is as important that you allow yourself to be treated for that as if would be if you suffered a physical injury."

Seven started breathing quickly. Putting her hands to her head, she started shaking it, "I cannot, Ketaria. I cannot bear the thought."

Without thinking, Ketaria reached out to gently place her hand on Seven’s shoulder, "Seven, please…."

But Seven screamed and knocked her hand away, scrambling to get down from the rocks and away, "Don’t touch me!"

Ketaria worked to hide both her surprise at Seven’s reaction and the fear she suddenly felt. The anger that came off of Seven was overwhelming. Before she could say anything, Flotter slid off the rock and moved toward Seven, "Come on, Mama Seven. Let’s go for a walk."

Ketaria watched as he slowly moved away, and Seven followed. She did not have to work to read Seven’s thoughts. Her thoughts were pouring off of her, almost overwhelming Ketaria. She had slipped farther away and deeper into her own mind. Her thoughts were getting darker.

Putting her hand to her mouth, she stood deep in thought, trying to sort out her feelings. She knew there would be no talking with Seven. There was no reasoning with her. It was time to talk to the Doctor.

Kathryn was on her knees, stretching to hand Chakotay the tricorder.

She had to wait only a few minutes before she heard his muffled report, "Looks like that did it."

She watched as his feet slowly started to appear from the small opening and then saw tools start to appear close to his knee. She reached down and grabbed the objects as he handed them out to her, then grabbed his hand as he reached out for her help. Standing, he put his hands on the small of his back and leaned backwards.

"Ouch."

"I told you I would do it."

"I know, but it sort of felt good to do that kind of work again."

"Are you telling me you’ve missed getting your hands dirty, Chakotay?"

"Actually, yes. Being second in command was fun, but I did miss getting in there and doing some of my own maintenance work."

"Well," Kathryn grinned at him, "I think you are getting plenty of opportunity to do that these days."

"Me and everyone else." He grinned back, now bending forward and bouncing a little to give his back relief. "Even the Doctor is becoming quite the mechanic."

"Yes." She was putting the tools into the small toolbox, "I actually think he enjoys it."

Chakotay gave her a glance, "I think it is a little distracting for him."

She stopped, and shared a look with him, nodding her head sadly, "I think you’re right." She snapped the lid closed, "So, shall we head for engineering? I imagine B’Elanna already has a long repair list waiting on us."

Laughing, they started walking toward the turbolift. They had all been kept busy with the maintenance requirements of Voyager. They had managed to adequately maintain the ship with a crew of one hundred fifty. Now, they were trying to do the same with a crew of nine. Actually, eight plus family. Seven was not able to help them. Kathryn frowned when she thought about her.

"Thinking about Seven again?"

She glanced up at him and nodded, "Yes, I guess I was."

"Did she have the dreams again last night?"

"Yes. It was another sleepless night."

"They are getting worse, aren’t they?"

"Yes, they are."

"Kathryn," he stopped, and she turned to face him, "she isn’t going to get better until she faces her demons."

"I know, Chakotay, but I am afraid those demons are more than she can deal with." She turned her had away from him, "I feel so guilty over what happened to her."

"You did your best for her, Kathryn. You did what you thought was right. If you could have know what would have happened, you would have chosen a different path."

She stayed quiet for a moment, "Would I? Or would I have thought I could have found a way to fix it and gone ahead and done exactly what I did? Something inside me makes me think I would have gone ahead and tried to make things work, even if I knew what was a risk." She sighed, "I have to tell you, Chakotay, that doesn’t make me very comfortable with myself right now."

"But your faith in yourself is what enabled you to keep this ship in one piece and a crew together. That is your strength, Kathryn. You should not see it as a weakness. Don’t doubt yourself because of what happened to Seven. You cannot always understand why things happen the way they happen. You must have faith that forces beyond your understanding have a purpose."

She looked up at him, her face working with the thoughts that ran through her mind, "I have to tell you it is difficult to see what good those forces are working for right now."

"It is not always for us to know. We must learn to trust our guides."

She laughed, shaking her head at him, "How is it you can be so…grounding when the world is turning upside down."

He smiled at her as they resumed their walk toward the turbolift, "It is a gift of my people and my upbringing." He paused, "And my great faith in you to do the right thing."

She looked up at him, giving him a grateful smile. When they entered the turbolift, she gave the order that would take them to the engineering deck.