Copyright 2001, Susan S. McCrackin  Reprinted with permission of the author.

The Doctor sat nervously in front of Judge Marshall. The man was sitting behind his desk, relaxed and obviously feeling in full control of the situation. And he was. The Doctor did not fool himself that he shared any control at all.

The judge was carefully looking over the paper he held in his hand. Then, he slowly placed it on the desk. The Doctor noticed that he straightened the paper in the file before he raised his eyes to the Doctor.

"So, Doctor…" his eyes shot down to the paper, "Hansen, tell me about yourself."

The Doctor shifted uncomfortablely, "I have served as the Chief Medial Officer on Voyager since I was brought online about seven years ago. I was the Emergency Medical Hologram be…." 

"No, Dr. Hansen," the judge interrupted him, "I want you to tell me about yourself. The purpose of this meeting is to determine your right to self-determination. I want to hear about you." He leaned back in his chair, closing the file in front of him, waiting.

"Well," the Doctor cleared his throat, "I am a husband and a father…."

"Tell me about your family."

The Doctor’s face brightened, "I have a wonderful family. I have a beautiful wife, whom I love very much…."

"You love?"

The question surprised him, and he worked to recover his composure, "Yes, I love. I love my wife and my child very much. They mean everything to me."

Judge Marshall’s eyes narrowed. Then, he said, "Of course. Continue."

"As I was saying, I have a beautiful wife and child. We have a wonderful family life. I love being a husband and a father. I am very dedicated to my family."

"Were you programmed to be such?"

He frowned, "No, that was not part of my original programming."

"Then, how is it that you love?"

"Well, my programming is highly adaptive. It…adapts to different situations. Also, Lieutenant Torres has, I mean, Torres-Paris has added emotional subroutines to my program during the last seven years. The emotional subroutines have allowed me to feel."

"Do you have sex with your wife?"

"What?" The question shocked him, but he tried to continue quickly, "Yes, my wife and I do…have a sexual relationship." He sat watching the judge’s face, trying to prepare for what might come next. 

"Describe the sexual relationship with your wife."

The Doctor’s face went blank with surprise. He opened his mouth to answer, then had to fight his rising anger. He knew so much depended on this meeting, and he did not want to do anything to place the outcome at risk, but these questions were more than he could take. He lifted his head and leveled a look at the judge, "That, sir, is a private matter between my wife and myself. I do not mean any disrespect, but I do consider that an inappropriate question." He sat back, trying hard to control his anger.

The judge looked at the hologram in front of him carefully, then raised his eyebrows slightly. Interesting, he thought. It was a response much like he would have given had he been asked the same question. "My apologies, Dr. Hansen. I did not mean to offend you." His look softened, "Or your wife."

The Doctor gave him a slow nod, "Of course."

"So," the judge leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk, "tell me about your child."

The Doctor’s eyes lit up, "Kathryn B’Elanna is wonderful. She is bright, much brighter than the average child, I can assure you." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs, "She isn’t quite two years old and already has an extensive vocabulary. And," he emphasized," she understands most of the words she knows. She hardly ever meets a stranger and has been walking since she was ten months old. Sometimes, Seven and I can barely keep up with her.

"She loves Flotter adventures. We have spent so many hours on the holodeck going through all of the Flotter adventures…."

As the Doctor talked, the judge watched his face, amazed at the emotions he saw crossing the Doctor’s face, finding himself caught up in the excitement and wonder with the Doctor as he talked. He had never seen this kind of reaction in any hologram he had ever met with – and he had met with many. Resting his chin on his hands, he listened, not to the words but to the sound of the words. This was a being of emotion and feeling. This was not an unfeeling computer program. For the first time since he had been handed this case, he was grateful it was his job to grant this…person temporary self-determination. That part would be easy. But first, he wanted to see how this hologram reacted with the child.

When the Doctor stopped talking, the judge glanced at the door, "I understand you have your daughter with you today."

"Yes. Counselor Troi is keeping her in the waiting room."

"I would like to see the two of you together. Would that be acceptable to you?"

"Of course." The Doctor was encouraged by his request. He watched as the judge motioned to an attendant with his head and saw the door open. After a moment, Counselor Troi walked in, carrying Kathryn B’Elanna in her arms. As soon as she saw him, she started wiggling in Troi’s arms.

"Down, Dena. Down."

Troi leaned over and lowered the child to the floor. Kathryn B’Elanna ran to her father, and he scooped her up into his lap. She started talking to him immediately.

"Fix hair, Dada. It messed up." She handed him her burette.

"Did this come out of your hair?"

"Yes. Dena couldn’t fix it. Dada fix it."

Troi started laughing, "I tried, Doctor, but I couldn’t fix it to please her. She kept insisting only you could fix it."

He was brushing back her hair with his hands, working the burette into her hair, "She is very particular about her hair." He gave Troi a glance, "Sometimes, she won’t even let Seven fix her hair."

Kathryn B’Elanna looked over at Troi, "Dada fix hair."

Troi laughed lightly, "So I see."

The Doctor finished, then picked Kathryn B’Elanna up and sat her down with her back to him, leaning against him and wrapped his hands around her stomach. She leaned her head back against his chest, looked up at the judge and said, "Hi."

"Hello, Kathryn B’Elanna." He grinned, "Can you tell me who has you?"

She laughed, "Dada!"

He couldn’t help himself, he laughed, "Do you love your Dada?"

"Love Dada."

"Show me how much you love your dada."

She pushed herself up to stand in the Doctor’s lap, turned and gave him a grunting hug.

The judge laughed out loud. "Tell me, Doctor, how did you teach her how to respond to my questions like that?"

The Doctor’s eyes danced with delight, "I told you she was smarter than average."

"I think I would have to agree with you." He dropped his head to look at the file on his desk.

The Doctor took a deep breath, "If I may, Judge Marshall, when will I hear about your decision?"

Judge Marshall gave him a long look, then replied, "Right now, Doctor. I am granting you a temporary order of self-determination. I am assigning Counselor Troi to make a full report to me within the week. Based on the findings of her report, I will issue my final decision within five days of receiving it."

The Doctor sat speechless, hugging his daughter to him. Finally, he said, "Thank you."

The judge nodded and stood, offering his hand, first to the Doctor, then to Counselor Troi. "Counselor, I will look forward to receiving your report. Dr. Hansen, good luck to you. And, Kathryn B’Elanna," he smiled broadly at the child, "I hope to see you again."

Troi grabbed the Doctor by the arm and led him out of the judge’s chambers. The Doctor paused at the door and turned, "It is redundant, but I want to say thank you again."

"You are welcomed, Dr. Hansen." The judge stood and faced him, "I must say, meeting you was a pleasure. As was meeting your daughter."

The Doctor nodded and turned to leave. Kathryn B’Elanna looked over the Doctor’s shoulder and waved to the judge, "Bye bye."

He waved back at her, knowing she had totally won him over. Thank goodness, he thought, it had been his responsibility to do what he did. He did not know if he would have been able to make any other decision.

The guard walked in alone and approached the opening of her cell. She watched him carefully as he deactivated the force field, then stepped in.

"I have come to allow you to…do whatever it is you do in that thing." He jerked his head in the direction of the alcove.

"You are alone?"

He looked around him, a smirk appearing on his face, "Obviously. Why do you ask?"

"It is just unusual that only one guard would come at a time."

He gave her a long look, "I think I can manage you by myself." He grabbed her roughly by the arm, "Come on." He jerked her toward the opening, causing her to stumble and fall to her knees. He pulled her up, "You can’t even stand on your own two feet. Why would you think I would need help in managing you?"

He pushed her toward the opening, and she stood, looking down at the base. He stepped over, reached back for her and dragged her over it, righting her. She grimaced in pain, but quickly tried to cover. He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward her alcove. She moved as quickly as the restraints on her ankles would allow her, reluctant to anger him. She had the sense he could be quick to anger, and she had no desire to make him do so.

When they reached the alcove, he stepped up on it, turned her around, wrapped his arms around the middle of her body and lifted her onto it. She moved into position and waited expectantly for him to activate the regeneration mechanism. He double-checked the restraints, tightening the ones on her arms. She forced herself not to react to the increased pressure on her arms. She did not want to do anything to put her regeneration time at risk. He stood close to her, his eyes locked on the implant over her eye.

"Is that one of those Borg implants?"

She ignored his warm breath on her face, "Yes."

His eyes slid down to the one on the side of her face, "Another one?"

"Yes."

He reached up and touched it. It took everything she had not to pull away from his touch. After a few moments, his finger slid across her cheek toward her mouth, then slowly under her chin and down her neck. 

"You sure are pretty. Even with those things are your face." He fingered the zipper at the top of her suit, "Any more of those Borg things under here?" He started to pull the zipper of her suit down.

She did not allow herself to react outwardly. Instead, she forced her mind to turn inwardly and concentrated on going to the smallest part of her mind. It was the one place she had learned to hide; the one place no one could reach. She moved deeper, finding its darkness comforting. She concentrated hard and started to settle into it, shutting off everything that was happening in the outside world.

It took her a while to realize someone was screaming. Is that me, she thought? She listened carefully, then realized it wasn’t. It was another voice. No. It was at least two voices. Fighting to come back into the light, she slowly opened her eyes.

It was Alta Ro’bara screaming. He was on the back of the guard, screaming and beating the man around the head, his face red with fury. At the door, was Darrian Green, himself screaming for the guards who came in with weapons drawn, aimed at her, but Mr. Green was ordering them to arrest the guard. A couple of the guards pulled Alta Ro’bara from the man’s back, and he fell to the floor. Darrian Green reached down to help him to his feet, and he turned to look at Seven as he stood.

"Oh, no."

She was sinking to her knees in her alcove.

He started moving toward her, slowly at first, then in a panicked run. Reaching her, he grabbed the top of her suit in both hands, pulling it shut, then grabbed the zipper to it, trying to pull it up with a shaking hand.

"I’m sorry, Seven. I’m so sorry." He was whispering to her, his voice shaking as badly as his hands. "I’m sorry." It was all he could say.

She leaned her head against his shoulder, listening to him whisper in her ear. She closed her eyes tightly and hunted for that small place in her mind.

Darrian Green waited for Dr. E’Nalto to finish her exam before entering the cell. Dr. E’Nalto walked up to meet him.

"Is she all right?"

Dr. E’Nalto gave him a long look, "Mentally or physically?"

He shrugged.

Dr. E’Nalto took a deep breath, "Physically, she was not…damaged."

"Good. I am glad to hear it."

When he did not say anything else, she continued, "Mentally, I don’t know."

"What happened was unfortunate."

She turned to him, her eyes flashing in anger, "Unfortunate?"

He cut his eyes toward the figure lying on the bed, "Dr. E’Nalto, we stopped anything more serious from happening. I will make certain it does not happen again. Now, I would like to talk to her."

She glanced back at Seven and stood out of his way. He walked past the doctor and approached the prisoner. For some reason, she looked smaller lying on the bed, her arms and feet bound in the metal restraints. For a brief moment, he almost felt sorry for her. She looked vulnerable.

"Seven."

She turned to look at him, and he could see that Dr. E’Nalto had sedated her. The reply was muffled, "What?"

"I apologize for what happened here."

She did not respond to him, instead, she worked to focus on him.

He cleared his throat, "I have come to bring you a message.’

She waited for him to continue.

"The hologr….um, your husband was given a temporary order of self-determination. The judge has ordered a full report be given to him by Counselor Troi and will make a final decision within five days of receiving the report. Captain Janeway wanted me to be certain you knew that." 

She closed her eyes tightly.

He approached her, suddenly concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Yes." She struggled to sit up. Dr. E’Nalto quickly moved to assist her.

"Seven, you should lie still."

"No, I wish to stand." She worked to get her feet on the floor and fought for her balance. With Dr. E’Nalto’s help, she stood up to face Darrian Green. "I have made a decision."

He frowned, "And that is?"

"I want to plead guilty to all of charges. I am ready to admit my guilt."

"Seven!" Dr. E’Nalto rushed to her, "What are you saying?"

"I am saying I am guilty of sabotaging Voyager. My history as a Borg speaks for itself."

"Seven," Dr. E’Nalto pushed herself between her and Darrian Green, "Don’t say anything else. You are under severe emotional strain right now. I think it would be a good idea for you to lie back down. We will talk about it tomorrow."

Alta Ro’bara walked into the cell, holding a cup of hot tea, then stopped to look at the faces of the people in the cell, "Talk about what tomorrow?"

"Nothing," Dr. E’Nalto barely glanced at him.

Seven looked at him, "I have admitted that I sabotaged Voyager. I am ready to admit my guilt and accept my punishment."

The cup dropped from his hand. "No," his voice was a whisper. "Seven, no."

She gave him a harsh look, "I am guilty." She raised her head and looked around the cell, "And I am ready for this to end."

Darrian Green looked at her carefully, "We will discuss this in the morning. I suggest you rest tonight." Without saying another word, he turned and left.

Dr. E’Nalto and Alta Ro’bara looked at her, the doctor suspicious and Mr. Ro’bara incredulous. She turned from them and made her way to the small bed, lowering herself on it. As she struggled to get her feet up on it, Alta Ro’bara quickly moved to lift her feet and place them on the bed. She shifted her body to get as comfortable as she could and closed her eyes, shutting her visitors out.

"Please leave."

They looked at each other, uncertain. Finally, Dr. E’Nalto turned toward the cell entrance and stepped out, waiting for Mr. Ro’bara to follow. She watched as he looked at Seven on the bed, his expression decidedly unhappy. Then, he slowly turned and stepped over the base of the cell entrance. The guard outside the cell quickly activated the force field, his relief at being able to do so apparent. The look on his face only made Dr. E’Nalto more angry. Without saying another word, she left with Alta Ro’bara at her heels.

The Doctor was standing, his body tight with anger and fear. Counselor Troi was standing with her hand on his arm, trying to comfort him. She knew, however, she was unable to provide him with the comfort he needed. 

"Was she…." He couldn’t finish his sentence.

"No, Doctor," Dr. E’Nalto’s voice was soothing, "they got there before anything could happen."

"How is she?" His words were almost a whisper.

Dr. E’Nalto looked at him carefully before answering, "To be honest, Doctor, I don’t know." She lifted her hand to rub her forehead, not certain if she should say anything else. She looked over to Captain Janeway, allowing her to see her concern.

Kathryn Janeway was in shock. She still could not believe what she was hearing. She had been promised that Seven would be safe. She had promised Seven the same thing. She had promised Seven a safe haven and a home. 

Now, it all felt like a lie. She had been lied to, and she had lied to Seven. She shook her head. There had to be a way to clear all of this up. There had to be something she had not thought about. If she could just give herself time to think, she was certain she could find a diplomatic solution to this problem. There was always another option. She just had to give herself time to find it. It took her a minute to realize that Dr. E’Nalto was talking. She forced herself to respond.

"I’m sorry, what did you say?"

"I said there is something else I needed to tell all of you."

Janeway exchanged a quick glance with the Doctor, "What?"

Dr. E’Nalto turned to Alta Ro’bara, and he gave her a sad nod of his head. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then gave the Captain and the Doctor a forceful look, "Seven told Darrian Green she wanted to change her plea to guilty."

"No!" It was a long, low groan that came from the Doctor.

"She can’t." Janeway’s head shot up, "Does she realize what that means?"

Alta Ro’bara nodded his head at her, "Yes, she does. She said she wants this over."

"But she is innocent!" Janeway’s voice was indignant.

"That, Captain," Ro’bara leveled a look at her, "is going to be impossible to prove."

"What?"

He lowered his head, then raised it slowly, his eyes moist, "Captain, I have seen the case they have made against her. They have manipulated the logs of you and your crew. They have even manipulated her own logs. They have been spinning the story carefully, and the polls are starting to show a strong public sentiment for punishment."

"But what about our testimonies? Everyone on Voyager will stand behind her."

"No, they won’t."

"What?"

"There are already members of the crew who are changing their stories."

"I do not believe that!"

"Captain," he reached into a pocket, pulled out a PADD, and handed it to her, "I’m sorry."

She reached for the PADD with a shaking hand and started to read. Then, she reached back for a chair and sat down weakly. "I don’t believe this."

"Captain, some of these people had a lot to lose. And the Federation holds a great power over them."

She looked up at him, "Some of these testimonies are from former Maquis."

He gave her a sad look and slowly shook his head, "Exactly."

Janeway sat, a sinking feeling coming over her. Suddenly, her options seemed very limited. She thought back to her conversations with Kahkar Omarahn, now understanding his concern for Seven. She looked at the Doctor, his grief and helplessness apparent.

Kahkar Omarahn.

She lowered her head. Maybe there was another option. 

"I am sorry for what happened today, Seven of Nine."

She stayed quiet.

"He has been dealt with. Also, you will now have female guards. I will protect you."

"As you did today."

There was a pause. "But I did protect you today. You were rescued in time. That was my doing."

"My thoughts are your thoughts."

"Yes. I knew he frightened you. I sent help as quickly as possible."

"Am I to thank you?"

"Thanks is not necessary, Seven of Nine. Just know that I will protect you. I keep my promises to you."

"And I have kept my promise to you."

"Yes, you have. We will be together soon, Seven of Nine."

She sighed.

"Seven of Nine." The voice was almost sad, "You should look forward the time we will be together. I do."

She did not respond.

"You will go before a judge within the next forty-eight hours. You will plead guilty?"

"Yes."

"Good. As a sign of faith, Seven of Nine, your aunt’s suit for custody is being denied. The judge who granted your…husband self-determination will find her suit has no merit. Your husband and your child will be together. I promise you that."

"Thank you."

"The ruling will be issued tomorrow. You will plead guilty the next day, and we will be together soon."

She stayed quiet.

"I will look forward to our time together."

She felt him leave her mind.

He jerked the device off his neck. He was still angry. Everything could have been ruined today by the action of a fool. It should never have happened.

The man had touched her. He had dared to put a finger on her. He should have died for that. The guards all knew they were not to touch her.

She was his.

He fingered the device, then slipped it into his pocket. He could not put it back on right now. He was not in full control, and she might hear more of his thoughts than he wanted her to hear. He would calm down first, then monitor her thoughts later.

Frowning, he thought about her thoughts. They had gotten harder for him to hear. She was learning to hide from him. It was good this was coming to an end. Given enough time, he would not be able to hear her thoughts at all.

But soon, he would not have to worry about that. 

She was hiding in the smallest part of her mind. Here, she could shut out the feel of that man’s hands on her face, the feel of his breath on her face, the sound of the zipper…. No. Those thoughts could not enter this place. She concentrated and those thoughts went away. She looked briefly at her memories of the Doctor and Kathryn B’Elanna, then quickly turned away. Those memories were safe from anyone. They were only hers. She had successfully locked them away.

A memory came to her, and she allowed it into this place.

‘Aren’t you ever angry, Seven?’ 

It was B’Elanna’s voice.

‘Angry over everything that has happened to you.’

‘I do not understand.’ It had been her reply.

‘Your parents took you into the Delta Quadrant and practically delivered you to the Borg. The Borg took away your life, your childhood. Then, you find your way to Voyager and, just when you are finding true happiness, the Borg take away your memories. Doesn’t all of that make you angry?’

She remembered her response, ‘There have been times when I was…angry. But, what happened happened. I could not control it.’

B’Elanna again, ‘I do not think I could be so…accepting. I think I would be furious.’

She had asked, ‘And what good would that do?’

B’Elanna’s words came back to her, ‘I don’t know. It probably wouldn’t do any good. But, I know it would fuel me. It would…make me feel.’

She remembered her response.

‘I feel.’

Then, she had said, ‘What has happened has not made me happy, but being angry over it would be inefficient.’

Inefficient.

She had been wrong. B’Elanna had been right. 

Well, mostly right. Anger was a fuel. She could feel it fueling her now. It was what was keeping her alive. Her anger would get her through the next few days. It would help her survive until the time they were together. Then it would give her the strength she needed to do what she had to do.

But B’Elanna was wrong about one thing.

Anger did not make her feel. Just the opposite. Her anger helped her not to feel. Her anger was her shield. It was becoming her armor. She was wrapping it around herself, using it to shut out everything around her. 

Anger was very efficient.

To’mas was crying. He had a very loud, very insistent cry. B’Elanna laughed as she lifted her son from his crib. He was wet and hungry. She could already hear both in his cry. She hoped she had gotten to To’mas before either Tom or her mother could wake up. It was hard enough to have any time alone with her son without sharing him in the middle of the night.

She quickly changed him, then moved to sit in the rocking chair. It was with a sense of melancholy that she settled herself into the chair. This was Seven’s chair. The Doctor had gotten it for her to use. Every time she sat in it, she had to fight back tears. But, the Doctor had been insistent that she use it.

She settled To’mas into her arms and moved his head to her breast so he could suckle. As soon as he was nursing, she leaned her head against the back of the chair, amazed again at the peaceful feeling that came over her. This was wonderful. She had watched Seven nurse Kathryn B’Elanna and had always wondered at the look of contentment that had come to her face. Now, she understood.

As she looked at the face of her son, she thought about Seven. No one would tell her much about Seven, but she knew something was terribly wrong. She had not felt anyone exploring her mind, and that was good. But she knew she was going to have to do some exploring herself and soon. She listened carefully, trying to see if she could hear anything from Kathryn B’Elanna. The child had been very quiet since coming to her during To’mas’ delivery. Kathryn B’Elanna had helped her, but had been careful to stay in the fringes of her mind. She knew the child had been guarding her mind in addition to helping her through the delivery. The assistance had been greatly appreciated.

Checking To’mas one more time, she carefully opened her mind, hoping that Kathryn B’Elanna would come to her. After a few moments, she sighed. She really had not been expecting anything. The Doctor had put the choker back on her, and she knew it would keep the child’s mind quiet. 

Suddenly, though, she heard her.

"Bala."

"Kathryn B’Elanna! How are you sweetheart?"

"Baby."

"Yes, this is To’mas."

"Tomas."

"Yes. Are you doing okay, KB?"

"Good."

"I’m glad, KB." She hesitated, "Is your Mama okay?"

"Mama gone."

B’Elanna’s heart skipped a beat, but she forced herself to stay calm, "You probably just can’t hear her, KB. Are you wearing your pretty necklace?"

"Shhhh."

"What?"

"Shhhh. Turned it off. Shhhh."

"You turned off your necklace?"

"Shhhh."

"Our little secret, right KB?"

"Yes." She laughed.

"KB," she hesitated, "have you talked with Ketaria?"

"No. Bala go with Kathryn B’Elanna to see Keta."

B’Elanna took a deep breath. She knew from Tom that Kahkar and Ketaria were supposed to be coming. The fact that they had not come yet worried her. She could not shake the feeling that something was wrong. She looked at her son in her arms. He had fallen asleep. She knew he would sleep for a while. Maybe there was time.

"KB, do you want to go see Ketaria?"

"Go see Keta!"

"Can you take me now?"

"Yes."

"Okay, KB. Let’s go see Ketaria."

She closed her eyes in concentration and soon found herself walking with KB. She was surprised to realize this trip was much easier than any of the others had been. The child was even stronger than she had been the last time. It was not long before she realized they were on Kahkar’s ship and moving through it as KB searched for Ketaria. As soon as the entered Kahkar’s lab, she saw the two of them. Ketaria was on the examination table and Kahkar was sitting beside her, his face held in his hands.

"KB, what’s wrong?"

KB was quiet for a long time. Then, she turned to B’Elanna, "Keta sick."

Before she could ask any other questions, she realized they were returning to the space station. She knew she was returning to awareness, but she searched for KB in her mind.

"KB, where are you?"

"Bala stay."

"KB, what are you going to do?"

"Help Keta."

"No, KB, stay with me." She made her mind’s voice forceful, "Do not leave, KB. You must stay with me."

She saw the child turn to her, her face firm. "Help Keta." Then, she turned and left.

B’Elanna did not call after her again. She knew it would not do any good. She pulled To’mas to her and closed her eyes tightly, frightened.