" The
newborn's breathing was initially erratic, then stabilized with
oxygen by facial mask. Warm hands, the aggressive fingers of strangers,
compelled its new life forward. The baby would not die today,
not this hour. A pink sheen began in waves, first the trunk, the
face, the limbs. Then the sounds of birth. A war-cry, a scream,
a lusty shout. Strong arm and leg movements, good muscle tone.
Around six pounds. The pediatrician signaled from the bassinet
with a thumbs-up: all would be well. A collective sigh, the relief
of resurrection. Noises, chattering sounds from metallic basins
on the operating table, clashing with a newborn howling "
From The Opera
" Strange
music wafted into the birthing room, loud, gritty, resembling
Wagner, most likely transmitted through the adjacent wall TV,
the PBS station. left on by the cleaning team. Symphonic sounds,
kettle drums, a fevered crescendo, violins soaring, tubas blaring,
horns bleating. It seemed a surreal accompaniment to the vision
in front of me Strutting atop the labor bed stood my own
Brunhilde, the warrior maiden, six-foot two, 275 pounds, bellowing
profanities, punching the air, in the throngs of labor. Stoned.
A diva on crack "
From
December Breath
" The
dark sky opened and bled. I remembered the snow falling, pounding
the clinic windows, the initial storm of the season, the week
before Christmas I resumed my interview with Mrs. Concord,
making notes onto a file card pulled from lab coat pocket. I studied
the stack, shuffling it, assessing its weight, a collection of
nearly fifteen bodies, an assembly of diseases, all hospital faces,
room numbers, embossed patient data. As a student I was always
writing. A personal lifespan spelled out in discrete bundles of
sentences, paragraphs, and vital signs, the poems of stripped
down existence. Each face became a story, a voice, a cleansing,
wanting to be told. In our recitation we added our voices to the
tales, our lives converging with their stories, their speaking,
their healing "
From
August Odyssey
" All
of us begin as swimmers. Prenatal life is aquatic: rolling, swallowing,
voiding, slurping, and undulating within the currents of an amniotic
bath. Our eyes blink, beholding darkness. Our fingers touch a
pulsing cord, our chests rubbing against the placenta, bouncing
wildly, zigzagging within a uterine prison. We then become evicted,
thrust into existence, the outside world bursting upon us "
From
Banu
" It
was a path less traveled, the fearful fork in a yellow road. The
universe seemed on hold, music barraging my brain, harsh symbol
sounds, cerebral gunfire, grenades exploding, violins at high-pitched
tempo. I stared at Banu's brain, the blood flowing, ruptured,
into her mind, her interior life a fragile war-zone. A baby also
lay within her, not quite ripe, not ready for the outside world.
Dr. Quilligan tapped my arm. No more time for dawdling "
From
Double Header
" I
liked it when the husbands wept. It was often the highpoint of
the delivery. I had seen all the men disintegrate: the F-15 fighter
pilot, the tank commander, the military policeman, the drill sergeant,
the Army Ranger, the Cobra attack helicopter aviator. Their tears
were thick. Sometimes they even fainted, the fall hard, with a
harsh thud piercing the night. The irony was always beautiful.
I looked at their hands. Hands that lobbed grenades. Hands that
brandished M-16's, Stingers, assault weapons. Hands that were
trained to fly million-dollar jet fighter planes in aerial combat.
Hands that now clutched a soft blanket covering a newborn child.
Hands that lifted a son or daughter into the air for the first
time. For one brief moment the wars in their minds ceased "
From
The Birth Plan
" I'll
be very vulnerable when I'm contracting, Doctor, so I want all
my desires known by the birth-care team beforehand. I certainly
don't want any surprises in my labor. I'm very much into natural
childbirth, too. No medical interventions. No preps, no enemas,
no IV's, no drugs, no fetal monitoring, no Cesareans, no pain "
I nodded, a line from page two. The low-service hospital plan."