ON THE ROCKS

 

      We have a large stone in the yard. Actually it is a boulder. I know this because I called my buddy Donny who owns a quarry and asked him what the differences are among a stone, a rock, and a boulder. Here’s what he told me: A stone is anything a man can pick up by himself. So the gravel in your driveway probably qualifies, and most of your garden-variety fieldstones do too. Now, in Ohio, rock is what stones are made of. However, if you're from the south, then rocks are made of stone. But a boulder, he assured me, is always a boulder anywhere you go. He described a boulder as any rock, which cannot be moved by a single man under normal conditions. I asked Donny where he got his decidedly low-tech definitions, and he said they were developed over years of dealing with homeowners who ask him to find a big “rock” for their yard. “Now, you want a rock, or a boulder?” Donny would ask. “A boulder I guess,” comes the answer. “Not a stone, a boulder, right?”  “Yeah sure, a boulder.” Donny says these kinds of orders usually wind up as a “about as a big as a” description as the final answer. So, now I have a boulder. My neighbor asked me if I wanted a stone, then a few hours later he pushed a boulder into my yard with his bulldozer. He pushed it about a mile through his hay fields to get it hear, and it left quite a rut. Anyway, it’s here now and isn’t likely to move again in my lifetime. I think it’s mostly pink granite. It sparkles a bit, and looks like a large rounded ruby in the yard. The other day I had some time to kill after I backed the tractor into my boulder for about the fifteenth time and stalled out the motor, so I allowed myself the opportunity to wonder what it is that folks see in boulders that makes them want to put them out where others can see them, and back tractors into them. I remembered driving through Wadsworth the other morning and noticing that all the new housing developments had these big old barn stones out at he their entrances, and many of the older homes had some kind of boulder out front as well. So I called the proprietor of Keeney Sand and Gravel again. “No, really Donny, what’s with the boulders, why do people want them in their yards and along their drives?” He said, “I figure people like boulders because of what they represent. Boulders aren’t much to look at really, but they have stood the test of time, and suggest permanence, a strength, an eternal something or other that people crave. Somehow, boulders make us feel a little less mortal.” As I think on it, I’m sure most of us do want to be surrounded with walls of something eternal and strong. Unfortunately, today’s pink granite boulder is probably tomorrow’s pink granite tombstone. And while I appreciate what my boulder represents, I put my hope of immortality in God, a rock that is far larger, quarried for me at the beginning of time...and which can never be moved.

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