Driving
Miss Whitney
My
daughter is learning to drive; this article is for her:
Dear Whitney, Here are the things I have learned about driving that I want you to know: I have been driving for well over 25 years, and I am still not very good at it. Trust no one; drive as if your car is invisible. To many drivers it will be. Obey the speed limit, even when tailgaters push you. It is the best way to guarantee you’ll get where you’re going alive. The safest way to cut time off your travel is in the shower. Know where you’re going before you leave. If you try to drive while looking for street signs you will bump into something. Guarantee. Don’t drive when you’re sleepy. I did that once and woke up in the median of a four lane highway. Don’t even ask to take a gaggle of girl friends out. I have watched you guys in the house; I repeat...don’t ask. Keep the following items with you at all times: Jumper cables, a map, a flashlight, your insurance papers, a wrench, screwdriver, hammer, and a knife. Sooner or later you will use them all, even if you don’t know what to do with them. If you become disabled more than say, a mile from home, stay in your car with the doors locked and the flashers on and wait for help. If someone stops, roll down the window a bit and ask him to call the police or me. Never let your gas tank drop below one-quarter. You’re just asking for trouble. Use your sign reading ability, which has been finely honed from years of searching out SALE signs at the mall, to keep you safe and pointed in the right direction. Consider that it is the government who erects these signs, and trust their accuracy and information accordingly. Do not tailgate. One car length per ten miles an hour is a safe following distance. Remember that if you whack someone from behind, it’s generally your fault. The yellow lines on the road mean, “do not pass.” The absence of these lines does not mean, “go ahead”. No one yields when they come onto a highway. I know what the sign says. Around here, even- numbered roads usually travel North and South; odd-numbers run East and West. Some roads have several names, so learn their numbers; they tend to stay just about the same. Don’t pick up hitchhikers, I know I hitched across Canada, but that was in another world and time. Make an extra set of keys. Check your oil. If you see a red light on the dash, stop and call me. That reminds me of some simple troubleshooting tips: If the car vibrates, call me. If the car won’t start, call me. If the car seems hot, cold, bumpy, sluggish, noisy, or smelly, call me. Most of all please remember that learning to drive well takes time. It’s not as easy as dad’s old Farmall, and the road is never as safe as the driveway you’ve been practicing on. Your mother and I love you very much, and as excited as you are about your license, we’re just that scared about the thought of you out there. It’s a crazy world Whitney, please be careful and do your driving like you do everything else, with patience, respect for others, and common sense. I want to be able to watch you squirm when your daughter starts driving. Love, Dad