In its quest for new blood and good government, the Bush administration called upon Paul O'Neill for Treasury Secretary. O'Neill was deputy director of the Office of Management and Budget under President Ford, and was later chairman of Alcoa corporation.

Doc Nagel: Secretary O'Neill, as your name began floating as Bush's choice for Treasury, a Wall Street Journal columnist suggested your talents could be better used elsewhere, guiding environmental or education policy, for instance. What are your specific qualifications as Treasury Secretary?

Paul O'Neill: Wasn't that column strange? I mean, I was at OMB [Office of Management and Budget] dealing with economics. And what else does a corporate chairman do?

DN: One thing you did as chairman of Alcoa was to fight against government regulation.

PO: [The Federal] Trade [Commission] was on us, claiming we were operating as a cartel, fixing prices, controlling the aluminum market.

DN: Alcoa did have close to 75% of the domestic aluminum market.

PO: Alcoa's business wasn't controlling the commodity market, it was a process.

DN: What sort of process?

PO: We responded quickly to market demand, and that was our competitive advantage.

DN: How was Alcoa able to do that - I mean, quicker than other aluminum producers?

PO: As a subsidiary, we operated a distribution system, so we were able to track increasing demand and get to market quicker.

DN: Without controlling the market. Just controlling the distribution.

PO: We didn't control distribution, we operated the system that controlled distribution.

DN: Later, at Alcoa, you decided to pull the company out of the Chamber of Commerce, as a sort of protest?

PO: Right. The Chamber voted to oppose [former President George] Bush's tax increase. I recognized that it was necessary in order to reduce the federal deficit.

DN: Why do you think you realized the need for a tax increase and other members of the Chamber didn't?

PO: I think it was because of my experience at OMB. I understood the situation from the inside as well as the outside.

DN: You've moved from public to private sector and back again. Does this give you a better perspective?

PO: Not only that, it gives me huge personal advantages.

DN: What do you mean? What kind of advantages?

PO: Money, what else? Moolah, lucre, bucks. Big bucks. Megabucks. At OMB I made tons of friends, and during the Reagan and Bush administrations I was able to parlay my connections into big tax breaks, regulation easements, all kinds of stuff.

DN: Isn't that illegal?

PO: Nah. Look: you call up your friend, you say "Hey Dick, you know, aluminum is the strong, lightweight metal of choice for weapons of mass destruction" or something, and boom, you've got a government contract. Or you call and say "Jimbo, you gotta get these EPA nuts out of our way out here, we're trying to make some metal!" And the problem goes away. It's just a friend doing a solid for a friend.

DN: If that's not illegal, isn't it at least unethical?

PO: Don't you help out your friends? I'd say that's what ethics is all about.

DN: But none of my friends can arrange lucrative contracts for me or allow me to avoid government regulations.

PO: Well, my friends work in government.

DN: By the way, were you just referring to [Vice President] Dick Cheney?

PO: Sure.

DN: So, when Cheney was Defense Secretary, he arranged a contract for Alcoa?

PO: If you want to buy aluminum, you buy it from Alcoa. Alcoa owns the aluminum market.

DN: Now how is that legal? It sounds like fixing a deal.

PO: Oh, no, no, no, no. Not at all.

DN: Cheney and Bush have ties to the energy industry, don't they? Will they make deals for their "friends" too?

PO: There's a common misconception that government and industry are opposed forces, but really, they work together all the time. So when the chairman of Enron helps to write electricity deregulation law in California, it's as a partner of government. We all agree to the same rules, so why not?

DN: But Enron is based in Houston.

PO: Ken's [Kenneth Lay, CEO of Enron] one of [President] George [Bush]'s buds. They go way back.

DN: This ethical position - let's call it that - how does it relate to your job as Secretary of the Treasury?

PO: I'm in charge of fiscal policy for the government, IRS, FTC. People looking for ways to merge businesses and gain competitive advantages like we had at Alcoa would go through my office.

DN: So you're responsible for making sure mergers and acquisitions by corporations comply with federal law and FTC rules?

PO: We need to think more expansively in government. I really believe that. We need to consider how regulations can be formed that help corporate America.

DN: For example?

PO: For example, tax incentives for profit-earning capital investments.

DN: I'm not sure I understand. That sounds like giving tax cuts to businesses for profiting.

PO: Right. I can't say that was my own idea. The President heard about it from Ken.

O'Neill's new-way thinking will bring changes to the Treasury Department during his tenure there. And when he exits to head a corporation, he'll be able to depend on his friends.

This document is meant as a spoof, a jest, a humorous put-on. Paul O'Neill never spoke to me, nor would he ever I suspect. So I don't know for sure how he stands on these issues.